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kodak

confessions of a pizza delivery man

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DROPPED PIZZAS - Bored young pizza-makers often try to twirl pizzas overhead just like in the movies - but inexperienced workers frequently drop them. They'd just pick the pizza up off the floor, blow the dust off and stick it in the oven.

 

DIRTY HANDS - In two of the shops I worked for, none of the staffers ever washed their hands, even after using the bathroom

 

BUG "TOPPING" - You'd often see cockroaches scuttling over the dough, If the staffers saw one they'd crush it, right on the pizza. They'd try to scrape it off, but they could never get all of it.

 

"If there were some legs or stuff left behind, they used to joke, 'Oh well, adds to the flavor.'"

 

SNEEZING WORKERS - One guy we nicknamed 'Sneezy' because he sneezed on the pizza dough so often. Another guy used to have a chronic cough and when he let one loose, droplets of phlegm would spray everywhere."

 

ROAMING PETS - In one shop, they had a pet cat that was allowed to roam around freely. You'd see its fur drifting onto a pizza and nobody did anything about it."

 

CIGARETTE BUTTS - Smoking is epidemic in pizza shops, Occasionally ashes or a whole cigarette butt falls into the dough. The guys try to dig out as much as they can, but once in a while a butt gets through."

 

RECYCLED PIZZAS - At one shop, if they couldn't find an address, they'd bring the pizza back and let it sit around for days till someone ordered the same thing

 

LAXATIVES, NUTS & BOLTS - If you don't give the delivery person a decent tip, you can be pretty sure that the next time you order a pizza, it will come with a little 'extra topping,' of one kind or another

 

SAT-ON PIZZAS - Not all the abuse done to pizzas is malicious - some is all in good fun.

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Originally posted by kodak

CIGARETTE BUTTS - Smoking is epidemic in pizza shops, Occasionally ashes or a whole cigarette butt falls into the dough. The guys try to dig out as much as they can, but once in a while a butt gets through.

Once I found one of those under my pizza, I laughed.

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i used to put my cigarettes out on a kids face that looked like a pizza.

 

wait. no i didnt. woulda been preety bad ass if i did though

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IVE GOTTEN LONLEY PUSSY FROM HORNEY WOMEN DELIVERY PIZZAS... TALK ABOUT 30 MIN. OR FREE...I HAD A PINK PORSCHE AND I FUCKED A HUNGRY CALL GIRL BECaUSE IM SO FRESH..FO FREE... MAKING UP FOR MY LATE PIES

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Guest willy.wonka

my brother pissed on a pizza before;)

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Originally posted by WhenOne

i remember in elementary school everyone said their favorite food was pizza

 

and nachoes.

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Originally posted by kodak

i worked at little caesars for a year

 

 

kodak, hopefully not the one right there on zarzamora and military by H.E.B.... i hope.

 

:eek:

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i also hope he really didnt work at that one.

 

Grandola, are we talking about the same one? 210?

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Guest THEdude
Originally posted by mr.e

i also hope he really didnt work at that one.

 

Grandola, are we talking about the same one? 210?

 

yeah I'm pretty sure it's the same one

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Originally posted by Grandola

 

 

kodak, hopefully not the one right there on zarzamora and military by H.E.B.... i hope.

 

:eek:

 

no actually it was on jackson keller and west ave.

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Originally posted by mr.e

i also hope he really didnt work at that one.

 

Grandola, are we talking about the same one? 210?

 

yes, yes we are. south side of 210 like whoa.

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Originally posted by kodak

 

no actually it was on jackson keller and west ave.

 

 

thank-god. as long as i don't know what goes on at a place. i'm cool with eating there. but i will now avoid that little ceasers till i die.

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Guest THEdude
Originally posted by kodak

 

no actually it was on jackson keller and west ave.

 

:eek: :eek:

 

dude!

 

I was so close of going to that one

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Originally posted by THEdude

 

:eek: :eek:

 

dude!

 

I was so close of going to that one

 

well i dont work there no more. but i dont know what still goes on there. i know my friends baby was concieved there a few months ago.

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yeah, and do you know how much rat shit comes with a box of cereal. who gives a shit, we get more germs touching a subway handrail.. cant worry about shit like that, when you got diseased shitting on their hands and wiping it all over each given city..

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