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optimodub

gruesome personal injurys

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a cautionary tale...

 

many years ago i was playing with a knife (?) and tripped face first onto it, it was one of those thin sharp serrated filleting knives, anyway, it went in through my nostril out the top of my nose past my eyeball and gouged over my eyebrow to my forehead...a lot of blood :eek:

 

but the good thing is (apart from not losing an eye) i'm barely scarred, people only really notice if i tell them, good scars too, but not the kind of scars to impress the ladies with, probably get more of a 'you fell on a knife? you dumb fuck!' reaction

 

so remember kids, don't play with knives! :beat:

 

posted this elsewhere, but think it deserves a dedicated thread...good few skaters and bmxers on here so i'm sure there's some sickening tales to be told, my skate/bmx injurys have (so far) only left me with legs that look like they've been chewed by a wild animal...so, unleash the trauma...

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Well, when i use to BMX race... i was in the front of the pack.. and went to jump this one double, but clipped the landing with my front, cus i was trying to stay low. Then i flipped over the bars, and landed on my left arm and broke it.. and got it ran over when i fell

 

I had to get sergery on it, and i got a metal plate in my arm. ( i have some of my ex-rays too, so i might flick them and post them later)

 

 

------------

 

The first time i went snowboarding i thought i was hot shit, and all my friends could go down all the sick trails.. so i tried to keep up with them, and hit this bumb and fell on my stomach/ arm and broke my right arm + got the wind knocked out of me, and i couldnt get my feet out of the bindings

 

--

injuries suck!

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back when i used to dirtjump bmx... i had my trails right near the road. (in nebraska, the road is THE road). anyways, i saw this set of twins that i liked coming up, so i was like, "ill impress them w/ my mad biking skills." so i time it right, as they pass and look they see me hit this set of doubles that shot you super high, as i hit the base of the jump my pants got stuck between the sprocket and chain, i didnt notice til i was in the air, and i attempted a superman, i fucked my nutz really really hard. both shins were trashed, bleeding like mad, rode my face across the grass, tore my pants to hell. those girls were needless to say not impressed...

 

...that story is better for humor than 'gruesome' points.

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yea my only knife story is when i was little, i was playing with a knife when i was like 5 and i was stabbing carpet or soem shit, stabbed right through my foor with a butcher type knife lot of blood

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Guest -MOE LESTER-

my younger sister (like 1 years old at the time) was in one of these bouncy seat thingies for babies, and then my bro comes up and jumps on the seat, and my sisters finger got caught in the seat as it came down and her finger was crushed and the nail was ripped off....there was blood all over the seat, everyone was panicing and crying and shit it was kinda chaotic

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i was skating a handrail a few years back. tried to ollie over it and my board got hooked up on top. i went flying forwards and landed head first on the concrete. a massive f*cking lump and some stitches but the best part of all was the concussion... my brain was f*cked up for 24 hrs straight and i had to stay in hospital overnight. i was saying some funny shit to the doctors and nurses.. i was convinced one dude was doogie howser and kept hassling him. fuck i'm funny.

 

oh, and this one time playing football i got creamed and a few ribs got broken, not such a big deal but one went through my lung and punctured it completely. that was not fun.

 

had 20 stitches in my head from being hit with a piece of wood. it's cool coz the scar is in the shape of a smile.

 

50 stitches from a gash on my knee when this slut slammed a gate on me as i was running through it. a big flat head nail caught the skin and just tore it straight off. i got free jelly beans in hospital.

 

thats the best ones *so far*..

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Injury a)

 

Last year I was boarding downtown and when I went to ollie a gap...Smack! I hit a small rock which stopped my board dead. Too bad I kept going. The first thing that hit the cement wa my left knee, followed by my left elbow and hand. I got up and felt fine; picked up my board. After walking a few steps my left knee was hurting. Somehow I got a freind to take me to the hospital and I ended up with a fractured patella. I was on crutches for 2 months. Life's a bitch.

 

Injury B)

 

When I was like 6 or so, I was playing in teh backyard and my older brother (by 7 years) had a big wheel (3wheeler) in his hands. He started swining it around and let go. It fucking smacked me in the skull and cracked it open. I have no idea how many sticthes I got for it, but I have a scar to this day right where my forehead and hairline meet. Fucking siblings...

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when i was in the sixth grade, i used to go to these cotillions. well one time we went to for a hayride afterwards and they had a huge bonfire. well i was roasting marshmallows along with the dude next to me. well he went to turn around to tell me something and WHAP! right in the eye. a flaming fuckin mallow. shit swole up and was all burnt for like 2 months. boy i got some shit at school.

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Originally posted by -Rage-

 

Injury B)

 

When I was like 6 or so, I was playing in teh backyard and my older brother (by 7 years) had a big wheel (3wheeler) in his hands. He started swining it around and let go. It fucking smacked me in the skull and cracked it open. I have no idea how many sticthes I got for it, but I have a scar to this day right where my forehead and hairline meet. Fucking siblings...

 

haha

shit must look like you had a bad hair transplant.

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i have been reletively lucky with skating, but one that was funny as hell after wards was when i was skating this big box my friend has, i tried to frontside nosesldie it, but my wheels got on top, and my backfoot slid off, causing me to do the splits, and somehow i managed to nut myself on the corner of the box

 

Then when i was about 10, i was at this playground climbing something, and i slipped and smashed my head into a bolt, and had this big bolt shaped hole in my forehead. I think i only got 15 stitches, but its still my worst injury. Damn i'm lucky, one of these days i'm gonna really wreck myself, most likely hitting a rock or something while bombing big hills at night on my skateboard.

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When I was a kid, everybody wanted a motorcycle. It was popular back then to come up with cool ideas to sell to people, so they could make their own shit, like go-karts and motorbikes. There was a company that made a v-belt pulley out of sheet metal that you could put on a bicycle rear wheel with these little J-bolts on the spokes, and then drive it with a lawn mower engine. They also used to throw paper routes from bicycles, and the newspaper companies sold special "paperboy"racks for the back of your bike, and what were called "paper racks"--two canvas sacks attached to a wooden frame that bolted to the special "paperboy" racks. You filled the newspaper bags up with rolled papers, and threw the route from a moving bicycle.

My buddy did both on one bicycle--he had a motorized bicycle with paperboy racks, but he didn't like the seat, so he took it off. The only problem was that he couldn't get the seat post out. He hammered on it, unscrewed the adjustment bolt, poured oil inside--all kinds of shit, but it wouldn't come out. So he just rode it, with the seat post sticking up, and him sitting behind it on the paperboy racks. It had a 3-1/2 hp Briggs & Stratton motor and would go about forty with the throttle wide open.

He was hauling ass down Bissonnet street here in Houston, and some old geezer slowed down and stopped to turn left. My buddy went blasting around this guy on the right, throttle wide open, and turned around backwards to shoot him the finger. While he had his head turned, an old lady pulled out in front of him and he T-boned her Ka-BAM. He hit the seat post, and damn near castrated himself--then went over the lady's car and hit another car on the roof, breaking both legs. BOY, was he ever fucked UP. He was in the hospital a month, legs in casts, etc. But the worst thing was nearly cutting his dick off.

I guess the moral of this story is don't be a stupid dumb ass. LOL.

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ridin my bike barefoot i tried to make my left foot touch the back tire while i wuz riding and it my pinkie toe got caught up in the chainguard...sliced it smooth off..... i still have my pinkie toe tho'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yeh

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Guest uncle-boy

broke my growth in my foot plate twice

broke my tibia

cracked my ankle bone and ripped off the ligament

cut my eye with a scissors

broke my collar bone body surfing

spit on myself on accident

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Guest trampled

this didnt happen to me but when i was little, like 10, wewere playing at a friends house and they had th front steps, the barbecue, then the fence. So my friends sister runs up the stairs, then steps on the barbecue in order to jump the fence. Instead her feet stick to the barbecue because THE BARBECUE WAS ON! She couldn't get off it until her dad peeled her off. Her feet were sizzling and the skin was blistering :eek:

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i was bombing a hill on my board and i fell and stopped with my face, the hill was rough too.:beat: this is a good enough example of how i looked.

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most of my my injuries happened with things with wheels.

 

when i was 10 i was riding my huffy down the block and there was a big rock in the street. i decided i should use it as a ramp, my front tire turned and my teeth and jaw hit the asphalt. results: bloody and bruised chin, 2 chipped teeth and a plethora of scabs.

 

when i was 20, i was skating at a nearby shooping center, just fucking around, i ollied over this gutter, my front foot came off and didnt come back on. results: rolled ankle, blue and purple and green on both sides, and i could barely walk.

 

2 weeks later there was a demo at a skateshop in my city, my ankle was still tender, but there were some cool obstacles to skate so i said fuck it. i was messing around on this quarter pipe, and i pulled a nollie half cab heelflip, after a few tries. for some reason i tried it again, and my back foot landed back on the board after it flipped, but my front foot landed in front of my nose.results: rolled ankle again, now it makes a permanent popping sound, 7 years later...stupid piece of wood.

 

one day i decided to spend my day drinking this new beer i found at the nearby liquor store. "steel reserve" it was called. i bought 2 24oz cans, it tasted metallic, but as long as it was cold and getting me drunk, it was doing 2 dollars worth. so im drunk and bored, and decide to go take some pics of graffiti. so i grab my bike and head downhill. as im turning left this car cuts me off and my front tire gets stuck in the Muni rail. i go flying, my bike is still stuck to me since my pedals have stirrups. i kind of do a half flip and land on my side. luckily i fell right in front of a liquor store and the owner brings me an ice pack and some water . results: road rash to the face, which lead to a black eye the next day, and bleeding gums for the next 2 weeks. the end

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eat shit

 

imagine falling foward with your hands behind your back on to the edge of a table or counter, landing with your two front teeth on the edge of the table.

 

it would be too hard for me to explain how this happened but it did and it fucked up my mouth really bad. it hurt but it wasnt as bad as my leg coverd at least 50 % by an enourmous bruis that started from my knee.

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Guest willy.wonka

my penis was cut off.....:eek:

 

you dont know the shame and pain that comes with it.

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Guest sneak

on my first time ever skiing on snow i come down this red run with a few girls im trying to impress. now me not being able to ski at all, comes down the mountain, on my face and hand. my thumb was wrentched (sp?) so hard, the ligaments were fucked nd i had to have an operation in a dirty french hospital.

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Originally posted by seppuku

 

haha

shit must look like you had a bad hair transplant.

 

:lol: I never thought of that. It's not that big... maybe a half inch scar. It's just where the stitches started.

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