grd

Off out for Sunday Lunch then on to the pub to watch the football. I'll be rooting for Italy just to piss off my friend and hopefully Ireland won't get thrashed by Croatia.

Dear effeminate guys, STOP. notabitinterested, drunkgrd

Making a card for my besties birthday tomorrow. Craft is NOT my forte and I shouldn't have left it until the last minute. If I never see pink glitter again it will be too soon. I'm fucking covered in the stuff, I look like a demented stripper.

Dear Decy, Wait, WHAT?! We are going!!! That's super bizarre though innit. - grd

Re: I wanna see your...........PETS! Damn that's one adorable puppy. Give it! So, Ruby has had a tonne of blood work done now and we've found out what she's allergic to...grass and cats. The steroids and diphenhydramine are keeping it mostly under control but after the gardner came the other day she's had a flare up, it's obviously an annoyance to her with the scratching but she's always super chipper. Bob the cat has killed 3 birds in 3 days so I may chop her up and feed her to the birds and kill two with one stone.

I barely remember yesterday gas, do you really expect me to remember many moons ago? Here was I thinking you knew me. I do look forward to the pictures of KIR skinning a shark on a shoddy raft made out of oil cans and duct tape though.

Dear hayfever, fuck off - stiffly me

Wait, you're going to RAFT to the Bahamas or Cuba? That can't be a good idea, can it?

You must be really handsome because you have all the charm of a carrot. I'm befuddled as to why she would want to be tethered to you for 18+ years.

Dear Decy, dim problem, next time you're down I'll bring you some tramadol, I just found loads in a kitchen cupboard. Feel better soon innit - sg

All wasps and bees are dogs, silly.

You may think all those 'free bee' postings are funny but my ex father in law is an apiarist and often goes and retrieves bees for free. He gets extra honey and people are free of bees. Although, people are often idiots and can't tell the difference between bees and wasps.

Dear hot new gardener, you can maintain my lawn as often as you like. - grd

Portraits of kids are always super creepy. Xam(he's gonna be at Tattoo Paradise in Washington next month) Max Kuhn Valerie Vargas Tumblr is also pretty good for flicks.

that monkey Jesus is ugly as fuck.

Dear SM, congrats to the girl and you for being a super awesome mam!! - sg Dear today, fuck off, it's not even 10:30 yet and you've been fucking awful. - pissed off me

http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/6sz6 Brian McKnight is still alive!

How's Sky doing fiction? Make with the cute dog pics, Fist! Ruby has pms, at first it was funny and cute but it got old pretty fast. Poor Alfie is getting the brunt of her grumps. Bitches be crazy.

Literally just got through with this and frankly I'm sad it's over. It's all kindsa aces, it's filthy, brilliantly written and draws you in entirely. 800 odd pages but it's a quick read.

Dear Londoners, Boris, again? He's an effete, bumbling imbecile. I am disappoint. - grd

Yeah, sorry serum, I agree. I think about penises a lot and that wasn't even close to my first thought when I saw that monstrosity.

Mario Desa has some awesome paintings available in the 'artwork' section of his site. DO WANT

Dear Decy, you have to do what works for you, it'll all work out I'm sure. Before you go we'll have to head out for a pint innit. Do you get to take it home and work on it or do you have to go somewhere to do it? - sg Dear Wembley, I am going to be in you, this excites me greatly. - grd

Dear Decy, you're leaving t'port or is it that other place? - grdinnit Dear dada, 2 weeks of feeling like an orphan is totally made better with rum, cigarettes and pain killers. You're the bestest. - your favourite

Sometimes you're really very witty and wry, for an American.