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man talk

Toe Cutter

By Toe Cutter
in Channel Zero

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blood fart

blood fart

Posted
Posted

By the time I was 24 or so, I realized tough dudes were pretty played out.

Or dudes that act tough.

 

Dudes that can put up with bad living situations and not complain and boo hoo about it are where it's at.

Same with females.

But people that go out of their way to prove they are tough, usually aren't.

 

I am a horrible girlfriend.

I ruin lives.

I make dudes cry.

I make dudes punch me in the face.

None of this stops dudes from trying to be my boyfriend.

Even after I tell them it probably will end terrible.

 

I guess people will take the bad with the good.

If the good is super good.

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Guest shai_hulud

Guest shai_hulud

Posted
Posted
By the time I was 24 or so, I realized tough dudes were pretty played out.

Or dudes that act tough.

 

Dudes that can put up with bad living situations and not complain and boo hoo about it are where it's at.

Same with females.

But people that go out of their way to prove they are tough, usually aren't.

 

I am a horrible girlfriend.

I ruin lives.

I make dudes cry.

I make dudes punch me in the face.

None of this stops dudes from trying to be my boyfriend.

Even after I tell them it probably will end terrible.

 

I guess people will take the bad with the good.

If the good is super good.

 

I'm 90% on the same page.

 

However, I SPECIFICALLY complain a lot about my living situations though...a lot of the time I've done it here. I end up sticking it out usually because I'm broke and I have no other choice.

 

I've never thought of myself as tough. I just think everyone else has had it a lot easier than I have, and it shows.

 

And, I have tried to warn girls about my contrary nature. I just get sick of dealing with the same little things that people do that annoy me....but, people rarely change, and they never change because you want them to. So, I start acting like a dick half the time, and the other half I overcompensate and kiss ass to make up for being mean...and, IT DRIVES PEOPLE CRAZY. A lot of people think I have multiple personalities, and they may very well be right. It's not just the people I date, either...it's all my friends. I can't help it.

 

However, I can be really nice and generous. To a fault.

 

One time I told someone I was dating, "I never said it was going to be easy. I just said it would be worth it." Of course, I said that during an argument.

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blood fart

blood fart

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Posted

People always tell me I have a split personality.

I believe it.

Sometimes it's the drink.

Other times it's just chemical imbalances in my brain.

 

I am a total jerk to most people, even when I don't mean to be.

I say horrible things to hurt feelings intentionally other times.

 

 

Now most of the time I just try to spend time with people that I don't want to kick in the face.

It makes it a lot easier to be sweet.

I am not what most people expect me to be.

Not just people on here.

People in real life.

Everyone expects me to be some tough ass and all rowdy and onery always.

It just isn't the case.

I spend most days taking care of my niece and my family and just trying to do the right thing.

 

I have friends that have known me for 12-15 years.

And they know how I used to be.

And think that I am still like that.

I am not.

Nowhere close to being the person I used to be.

That's a good thing.

 

They will want me to go out drinking and start a ruckus.

I do that sometimes.

But not even as rowdy as I used to be.

It just isn't fun and it's too draining on me.

Having to be the life of the party and make excitement everywhere.

 

I like drinking with one person.

And holding hands.

Petting cats.

Hugs.

That might not be very metal or punk rock or whatever.

But it's what I enjoy.

And what feels right to me.

 

 

peyote- I was going to post Merle as well.

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VEE.THE.VIPER

VEE.THE.VIPER

Posted
Posted
I am a horrible girlfriend.

I ruin lives.

I make dudes cry.

I make dudes punch me in the face.

.

 

You do not make dudes punch you. They are bitches. Easy to give a girl 50 feet. Quick.

Do the same quick to any man that hits women.

Thats REAL talk. Now, MAN TALK:

I got crabs from some skank, and flipped the script on my ol' lady,

"Bitch, you been cheating? You gave me crabs!"

She says, get this:

"I must have got them from a toilet seat!"

"uh, yeah...must have..."

...

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blood fart

blood fart

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I know I don't make them do anything.

I know they already had it in them.

They just always want to tell me they have never hit a female before.

And that I just make them soooooo mad.

Things like that.

 

I have had dudes in the past that I sparred with.

Standing in the front yard and boxing it out for fun.

But we knew when to draw the line.

That was always fine with me.

 

I am just a very forgiving person.

Probably because I am well-aware of my own faults.

And because I have done a ton of horrible things in the past.

I know people can change.

If they want to change and take the steps to actually change.

So I always give people the benefit of the doubt.

And give them the chance to change.

They rarely do.

 

I have had many many horrible things happen to me in my life.

Getting punched in the face doesn't even begin to rank.

I have never been one to let a bad experience get me down.

Some people on here know some of the things I have been through.

They say it is some serious shit.

I just never saw the point in holding on to it and being upset about it.

People are shit.

They do shitty things to people that don't deserve it.

That's life.

It's not going to make me a bitter person or make me not want to help anyone or get down on life.

 

Pretty much, I let everything roll off my back.

I know people think it's shit for a dude to punch a female.

It probably is.

I don't put up with that in relationships now.

But it isn't going to make me not talk to someone ever again or not be there for them as a friend when they need a friend.

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Guest shai_hulud

Guest shai_hulud

Posted
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I grew up in the punk scene too. I haven't really changed, but I was never some hardcore bad-ass, either.

 

I don't hang out in the scene anymore. I used to feel comfortable and accepted around punks, but not anymore. It's just another clique with rules and reasons to make people feel like they don't fit in. I could care less about scene politics or who's dating who, or who fought over what when they were drunk. I never went in for that then, and I'm a little too old to worry about it now. I still go to shows once in a while, but I show up right when the music starts and leave when it's over.

 

Actually, that entire paragraph could be applied to how I feel about graff, as well. Same horse, different jockey.

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blood fart

blood fart

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I haven't..how is it?

 

I refused to see Factotum.

It might have been alright, but I guess I am just too close-minded to give it a chance.

 

When I started writing about my life, I wasn't thinking I was going to write a book.

I just wanted to get out things that were in my head.

And to have it down on paper, it made me feel as if my life actually happened.

I wrote/write how I am comfortable.

I don't bother with editing much, save for going back to correct minor grammatical errors.

People make the comparison between Bukowski and myself.

I never know how to take it.

It makes me sad because I feel like a biter.

Even though I know people are saying it as a compliment.

 

I don't so much know what my point is.

Bukowski makes my heart happy.

 

A few weeks ago, I was trying to wake up and not be hung over at this dude's house.

I laid on his couch with his cats.

Bukowski's "The Most Beautiful Girl In Town" was sitting on his coffee table.

So I read pages and pages of it.

Until I was late for work.

 

He later on told me that after we started dating, he felt like he had to read that book again.

He never told me anything more about it.

But it made me feel strange inside.

 

 

 

 

I don't go to punk shows much anymore.

Only when it is someone that I think I won't be able to see again.

Usually bands that I have seen before but was always too wasted to remember.

I am over the scene here.

I'm still casual friends with everyone, but I don't go out of my way to see any of them.

It's real cliqued out here.

Everyone knows everyone.

I've been seeing the same people at the same house parties talking about the same shit for the last ten years.

They never change.

And I've changed too much.

So much so, that I just can't get into talking about records or tours or what happened where when someone drank too much and did something predictable.

 

I go to hipster shows.

Girls want to talk to me about my hair.

I let them.

It's better than people wanting to gossip about people that I am not intrested in at all.

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IOU

IOU

Posted
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Born Into This is a must see BF. All live footage of Bukowski and interviews and his wife and all that jazz. The man was a beast, a beautiful beast..

 

Don't see Factotum. I caught it on cable, but was pissed the whole time. They missed the point by casting Dillon.

 

Born Into This.

 

Get on it.

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Guest shai_hulud

Guest shai_hulud

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Where's Toe Cutter? If he ever wanted to find out what being a man is all about, he needs to get his ass in here.

 

I've done my friends wrong, and vice versa. I try to not hold grudges. Most of the time I don't.

 

But, there's a lot of people who I have had to peace out over the years. It's happening a lot more as I get older, and the standards by which I measure the people I choose to be my friends seem to be getting much, much higher. Along with that, things I might have let slide in the past are now grounds for people getting the break.

 

Is that a good thing? I don't know. The older I get, the harder it is to make friends. I see myself turning into a complete recluse someday, and dedicating myself to art or writing again.

 

I had this ex-girlfriend who I dropped for all the right reasons. Then, a mutual friend of ours got killed, so I decided pride was less important than letting her know that I was concerned about her as a person.

 

She hadn't changed a bit in the year I stopped talking to her, I came to find out. So, another year went by with me putting up with her BS...then I cut her off again, but a lot more nicely than the first time. I just told her that I could take her negativity anymore, and that it wasn't personal. it was something I had to do for my own good.

 

We haven't talked since then. I have no beef with her, it's been years since she affected me in any direct way. However, I found out that she's still up to the same shenanigans. Sad. Like I said, people rarely change, and when they do, it's seldom for the better.

 

I know I sound negative, but it mostly has a lot to do with hanging out with shady people in shady situations. They can't always help it. It's just the way it is.

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IrishCarBombs

IrishCarBombs

Posted
Posted

Wanna put my fingers through your hair

Wrap me up in your legs

And love you till your eyes roll back

I'm tryna put you to bed, bed, bed

I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

Then I'ma rock ya body

Turn you over

Love is war, I'm your soldier

Touchin' you like it's our first time

I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

I'ma put you to bed, bed, bed

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.coma

.coma

Posted
Posted
Where's Toe Cutter? If he ever wanted to find out what being a man is all about, he needs to get his ass in here.

 

I've done my friends wrong, and vice versa. I try to not hold grudges. Most of the time I don't.

 

But, there's a lot of people who I have had to peace out over the years. It's happening a lot more as I get older, and the standards by which I measure the people I choose to be my friends seem to be getting much, much higher. Along with that, things I might have let slide in the past are now grounds for people getting the break.

 

Is that a good thing? I don't know. The older I get, the harder it is to make friends. I see myself turning into a complete recluse someday, and dedicating myself to art or writing again.

 

I had this ex-girlfriend who I dropped for all the right reasons. Then, a mutual friend of ours got killed, so I decided pride was less important than letting her know that I was concerned about her as a person.

 

She hadn't changed a bit in the year I stopped talking to her, I came to find out. So, another year went by with me putting up with her BS...then I cut her off again, but a lot more nicely than the first time. I just told her that I could take her negativity anymore, and that it wasn't personal. it was something I had to do for my own good.

 

We haven't talked since then. I have no beef with her, it's been years since she affected me in any direct way. However, I found out that she's still up to the same shenanigans. Sad. Like I said, people rarely change, and when they do, it's seldom for the better.

 

I know I sound negative, but it mostly has a lot to do with hanging out with shady people in shady situations. They can't always help it. It's just the way it is.

 

 

no man its them trust me. its like you've hit a point with the people in your life where you have to ask yourself whether or not those people are playing games (doing the same dumb shit over and over again) or if they really are like that all the time.

 

unfourtunately you realize that there are a lot of dumb motherfuckers out there, and its best to just let them "cancel out".

 

being from foster care allows you to see (from a detached-unbaised perspective) how people really are.

 

 

.....[no/freud]

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