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10 Dollar Blowjobs

you know what else fuckin sucks

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when your about to leave the house and go party, drink, kick it whatever, and you need to take a shit. but for some reason you decide not to, and think that you can hold it untill you find a bathroom or come back home. the shit doesnt feel so bad now, it wont get worse...... so you leave the house and go out and drink and smoke and chit chat and then that shit hits you. your in a park or out at the bars and walkin the streets when it hits. you need to shit really bad but theres no where to do it. you even think it might be diarreah... if your one of those weird guys that can only shit in his own bathroom then your really fucked. sometimes you will be lucky and find a jack n box bathroom at 2am, or sometimes you be shit your pants....and that sucks

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Ive been at the park and heard my friend shit and wipe his ass with the brown bag off his english, multiple times. it happens.

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My friend actually had to get off the subway two stops early because he had to shit so bad the other night. He figured he would be able to find a bathroom on the street, but it got so urgent that he just got off the train, waited for it to pull away, and then ran into the fucking tunnel about twenty feet and shit right there. Did I mention that he was drunk?

 

So then he called his girlfriend (it was 3 AM, and she was sleeping) because he thought it was so funny. He was like, "I just shit myself!", and then they got disconnected. She thought he said he just shot himself, and totally freaked out.

 

This story is much funnier when they tell it.

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HAHAHA ^^^^

 

 

I use to be one of those guys that only shat in my own bathroom, but now I like to go in new and exciting places.

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I only shit in my own bathroom, except when it's an emergency. Even on vacation I held it for 4 days once...that's a big enough feat since I'm a 2 a day kinda guy, but I was also eating White Castle everyday

 

But yeah, I've seen my friends shit in some desperate situations. We were walkin around one day when it was snowin out and one of my boys had to shit real bad so he runs behind a snow pile. Few minutes later he comes out and tells us he had to wipe once with each glove, once with his top shirt, and then had to finish with his hands. I then asked him "Why didn't you wipe a few times with the shirt? I mean, it's big enough", to which he responded "...Oh yeah huh? Fuck"

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Guest Ginger Bread Man

HAHAH i totaly ROFLTER thats o true.. shit happens<no pun intended>

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You ever have to fart when your in bed with a girl but you hold it in till 5 hours later when you leave her house you can feeling it bubbling in your stomach then when you leave later on you sit in your car and release like serious 30 second fart you can feel it in your stomach and the relief is amazing?

 

 

 

 

 

 

yea i love that...

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^^^ love that

 

you know what fucking sucks? having to ride a bike for 45 minutes straight with the wind blowing fairly hard against you. it feels like god is farting on you.

 

/venting:mad: :mad:

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^^ you kno what sucks even worse...having to ride a bike while your stomach is bubbling and you can feel the diareeah buildnig up and planning their attack, cus now you got that bike seat up your ass while you got shit trying to pour out....

 

taht happened to me last night

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"You ever have to fart when your in bed with a girl but you hold it in till 5 hours later when you leave her house you can feeling it bubbling in your stomach then when you leave later on you sit in your car and release like serious 30 second fart you can feel it in your stomach and the relief is amazing?"

 

- I feel ya. same thing happens to me in school. I sit next to a cute girl and i always seem to get gas at that moment..after 3.5 hours of class i bolt straight to my car, make sure all the windows are up tight and have at it. i love the smell of my own farts

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I usually shit before I leave the house in case I get locked up for something I don't want to have to fuck with the toilet in the holding cell.<--- lesson learned the hard way.

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You ever have to fart when your in bed with a girl but you hold it in ....

 

why wait? Dutch Oven!

 

011103-vegas-gk-undercovers-4.jpg

 

chicks love it!

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I usually shit before I leave the house in case I get locked up for something I don't want to have to fuck with the toilet in the holding cell.<--- lesson learned the hard way.

 

Haha those cold ass fucking metal toilets you just got hover over them because chances are some aids infested hobo rubbed his shit all over it.

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Try getting turn-key to give you some toilet paper too. They either ignor you like they don't even hear you or they give you like 3 squares or something.:headache:

I actually whiped my ass with a coldpack.

 

 

 

For those that never been locked up, coldpack = sandwich and wax paper it comes in.

 

 

 

.

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Fuck Lil Ceasars, but you know what else sucks? Its like when your at home shitting, its all quiet like. But as soon as you shit in a public restroom you shit LOUD as FUCK, farting and all that shit. Why!? Oh God, why?!

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yeah its always the best when you are holding farts in, and then you sit next to ol' girl, and your stomach starts to make noise non-stop to the point where she can hear it.

 

letting loose after a date/whatever is the best feeling in the world though. i can clearly remember driving home many nights being astonished at the velocity of the fart that was held for 4 hours.

 

danger!

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