Craigslist

[Milk Grenades]

telling us whaT?

[ViolentByDesign]

Ew man ... fat 53 year olds is all I got to say.

[roadpig]

oh, FYI: i didn't find those married women on CL. the thick one i know from HS, the other i met off myspace.

 

i'm down with the vid as long as i get a fair cut of the $$$ and sherock is bukkid nekkid while filming.. :D

it wouldn't be my first time video taping during Mr. Nasty Time.

[Milk Grenades]

why do you guys have to always try and involve me in your nastiness? will i tape it, sure...will i be clothed, of course, will we make money, yes!

[roadpig]

hey, you volunteered yourself for this one, toots!

:p

[CALIgula]

lol....

 

as long as we all get paid...

what else matters?

[ViolentByDesign]

Owning a porn company would definitely be one of my top 10 career choices.

[rental]

i put an ad on craigslist recently, and some dude emailed me asking if i was some bitch that he talked to who wanted to be his whore in return for putting her through college. i made sure he knew i was not this girl. and i found his address, phone number, and some personal information. dick head.

 

oh, and he called me like 'ghetto' and 'vulgar' for using profanity towards him. i told him that was ironic of him to say.

[Milk Grenades]

was it really true?

[Milk Grenades]

hey, you volunteered yourself for this one, toots!

:p

 

not to get nekkid

[M_I]

what are you looking for?

 

random shit lol....

 

Paint

decent (musical) keyboards

a midi keyboard

an mpc

lacoste shit

a benchpress/weights

 

 

p.s. SHErock are you actually teh femalez?

then i understand your not wanting to get teh nekkidz on teh video

 

i really cant speak teh l33t, ill stop now.

[Milk Grenades]

ohhhhh.....yes i am teh femalez. are you really from Venezuela?

[M_I]

^how did you guess??

[Milk Grenades]

i'm psychic?

[M_I]

arent all girls (seriously).

 

so whats good with this video? Can i do up the cover?

[Spitfire15]

My neighbors from Venezuela.

 

Last time I heard from him his mom was chasing him with a knife and he went in the garage and got a machete. The cops came. I was at work so. =(

[CALIgula]

i <3 venezuela....i went there in 96 and 2005...

most beautiful girls ive ever seen.

[Milk Grenades]

arent all girls (seriously).

 

so whats good with this video? Can i do up the cover?

 

 

i saw your myspace, don't ask me how. i just did. ...what video are you talking about? there is no video.

[roadpig]

here's one for Caligula... :lol:

 

 

+++++++++

 

 

Gentlemen who Like Latinas

 

Reply to: pers-391932404@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-08-07, 9:33PM PDT

 

Hey there gentlemen..

 

I am a young latina masseuse who is in need of a car right now. My car broke down so I need to have it fixed. I need someone who has a SPARE car and is willing to lend it to me in exchange for massage.

 

I am not looking for someone to give me rides I will need to borrow the car for 1-2 weeks. Doesn't matter if its nice as long as it runs.

 

I have done this before on craigslist and its always worked out. :)

 

I have a Valid DL, clean record. and I have my own place to host the massages.

 

I get alot of BS emails please only reply is you are SERIOUS and you have a car and want to do this trade. It could work out really well for the both of us. If you want to see a pic I have one but please send urs first

 

Thanks!

Oh I would need the car by tommorow Sunday the latest MOnday..

 

Thanks!! :)

 

+++++++++++++++

[Spitfire15]

Happy endings?

[Milk Grenades]

hahha

[papa_dukes]

ISSUES? I GOT TISSUES

[Torquemada]

Seeking Young (18-20) Blond Beach Boi Toi - w4m - 28 (nob hill)

Reply to: pers-392390933@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-08-08, 1:23PM PDT

 

 

I am a 28yr old Asian married to a 75 yr old handicapped man. I am seeking a young, blond, beach boy type for a one time situation. This, to please my husband. He is a parapalegic, and unable to have sex. His only thrill is watching me with young blond guys.... He will only watch, he will not participate in any manner. As for me, I love sex more than most women and there is nothing that I will not do, unless it involves pain or drugs. If you are interested, please send me a face shot and your stats. No pictures = No response. Please, I do not want cock pictures or other trash.

 

[Milk Grenades]

ugh that was embarrassing...i was looking on craigslist for something to post on here and i was in the wforw and there was a slutty young girl with her vag, and my boss came up was talking to me.:what: :dozey:

[roadpig]

:lol:

[Milk Grenades]

not funny...he probably thinks i'm a lesbo

[roadpig]

which is why it's funny! :lol:

 

i got caught opening an email with a picture of a nekkid asian female. my supervisor caught me...she's asian herself...luckily we're friends and she just laughed it off. whew!!

 

anyway...found this on CL...don't know if it was posted already...

 

++++++++++

 

Dear Movie Go-ers...I Hate You

 

Reply to: pers-392138610@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-08-08, 8:28AM PDT

 

Hmmm interesting. So, what ya gonna do now? Not too many jobs out there that totally avoid people. Maybe you could get one of those fire lookout jobs on the top of some remote mountaintop? Good luck, stay away from the mall:-)

 

Hello fellow craigslisters. I work at a movie theater, or used to by the time you read this. I am going to give you tips on how to have a successful and non-stressful movie experience the next time you decide to see the big screen.

 

I am going to list several types of customers that I deal with and that will give a hint in as to not be one of those and make my job and others in the theater industry much easier.

 

Area One: The Box Office

This is the first stop at the movie theater unless you purchase your tickets online (Please do, it makes our life a lot easier and your experience quicker). Here’s what we deal with regularly.

 

-The Inconsiderate-

There is always one customer who uses the $100 bill for that ONE matinee ticket of $6.50 (or however much it costs for you). This is a big no-no for one it slows you down in seeing you movie. And don’t bitch if we don’t have enough $50s or $20s. It’s your own damn fault for using a $100 in the first place. So just don’t. Also, please don’t keep changing your mind. Pick a movie, it’s not that hard. And get off the fucking cell phones and talk to us. We aren’t a chore, honestly.

 

-The Stupid-

1. “Can you tell the times for “Insert movie here.” It’s right fucking behind me you dumb bitch. It’s called eyes, use them. We are a visual based society now so make use of it. I’m not here to tell you them when it’s on a fucking Big-ass FLASHING billboard. It’s there for a reason.

 

2. “The paper had a different time!” We’ll the paper is fucking wrong. Sorry to point out you are wrong. We have the right times. Deal with it.

 

3. “Do you have Insert really old movie, like X-Men 3.” Again, big flashing billboard. Look at it. And why in hell would we carry a movie that’s probably out on DVD now?

 

-The Not Quite Everything There in the Head-

I’m not going there, it’s not fair.

 

-The Asshole-

Yes, there is always a few. Don’t bitch at me for taking so long. It’s your fault for not getting here sooner. There are other movies playing, you prick. And don’t yell at me for the high prices, I just sell tickets.

 

Tip: Just be ready. Tell us the movie, the time, how many adults and how many children. And talk into the speaker, we can’t hear you if you are talking to the clouds with dozens of screaming children around you.

 

Area Two: The Concession Stand

The other focal point of the movie experience. This is also the most time consuming and stressful (You and the employees).

 

-The Asshole-

They never will go away sadly. Don’t yell at us to open another register when we are working as fast as we can and understaffed. You really don’t need that $3 puny cancer-laced diet soda. And yes, we CAN run out of items and hot dogs need time to cook. Last thing we need is another person bitching about how they got food poisoning from an undercooked hot dog. And please don’t buy them at the theater, they taste like shit anyways. It’s just as good as taking a frozen one, throwing it into the trash and eating it out of there…..or buying one from 7-11. And no, they aren’t Kosher. And if you are late for your movie, too bad. FACT: It’s your own damn fault for being late in the first place.

 

-The Butter Aficionado-

Yummy, I love killing myself with trans-saturated crap. And we say “BUTTER FLAVORING” for a reason. It’s NOT butter. It’s partially-hydrogenated soybean oil and BUTTER FLAVORS. It’s “I wanna die of cardiac arrest from my popcorn” in a jug. We really want to vomit when you tell us to put extra butter, layered in your popcorn. It really smells like vomit too.

 

-The Babysitting Mother-

For the love of god, keep the damn kids in line. I don’t care if they aren’t yours; don’t let them run off when they are supposed to be deciding what they want. If they do, don’t get them anything. It’s really simple, it’s called “Discipline” if you haven’t heard. And make them decide what they want before they get to the stand, it saves both of us time. And don’t let them run off with the food, that just pisses us off.

 

-The Jr. High Kids-

Don’t act tough because you’re older now. We don’t give a rat’s ass what grade you’re in. If you spill popcorn and soda again, I’m going to beat your ass. And don’t fold your money into rolls or give us a mangled pile of money. And if you give us just dimes, we will make you wait until we are done counting, you sack of crap.

 

-The Mean Grandmother-

I’m glad my grandparents aren’t like you, you haggard bitch. Let the kid have the next item up, it won’t run your next social security check dry (which you will blow on Bingo the same night you get it). At least you use exact change, we thank for that at least.

 

-The Indecisive Fuck-

You are all guilty and so am I, I will admit that. If the line is out the door, don’t wait until after I ask what you want to figure out what you want to get. There is a sign with all of the prices way up high for a reason. Read, you Son-of-a-Bitch!! And all of the candy windows are the same. We don’t play games here. We want you out of there as soon as we can. Don’t go “Ummm…..” for two minutes when everyone is pissed off as it is. It only wants us to murder you with a popcorn scoop faster. And don’t change your mind after we hit pay. It makes the world cry a little.

-The “We want our popcorn refill now” Person-

You just paid for the damn thing and you want a refill now? We hate you….

 

Area Three: The Actual Movie

Here is the nitty-gritty. Not too much here because most of you become mindless zombies here except for when you go for food. Here are some things to make our lives easier.

 

1. DON’T SPILL SHIT!!! I cannot stress that enough. How would you like it if all of the theater workers went into your house and spilled popcorn everywhere? I didn’t thing you would. It is the same thing. Don’t do it.

 

2. “I lost my Insert random item.” You want us to look for it in a theater that is playing a movie NOW?? We hate you as it is for one because we have to look under those gross seats, and top on the people in the theater having to deal with a flashlight during a movie. You are a bastard.

 

3. During the movie, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! This isn’t Mystery Science Theater 3000, you piece of shit.

 

4. For the love of god, don’t sit through all of the credits. If your friends don’t say there is anything at the end, don’t wait. The Ushers hate you the most and they are pissed off enough they have to clean up your shit. Don’t make them wait any longer than they have to. If there is stuff, then fine, we will let you pass on that.

 

 

If you have taken all of that in, then please use this knowledge I have bestowed upon you. We don’t want to murder you. We want you to enjoy the movie as much as we have before it even came out. This is a Movie Employee, Signing Off.

 

Enjoy the Show.

 

P.S. If you are one of those listed above (excluding Indecisive, cause that is everyone time to time), NEVER go see a movie again. We hate you.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

[CALIgula]

here's one for Caligula... :lol:

 

i like the whole idea of some latina giving me a massage...but aint no way shes getting my car keys from me...lol

 

oh and sheROCK....stop looking at vaj at work!

[M_I]

not funny...he probably thinks i'm a lesbo

 

hahaha......its ok tho, i was caught on phonetrace.org once.....but then i totally punked everyone else by telling them about it!!

 

phonetrace.org

 

check that ish.

[roadpig]

:lol:

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

People who encourage cockroaches - you need help

 

Reply to: pers-392809547@craigslist.org

Date: 2007-08-09, 2:26AM PDT

 

Just because you're living with them without putting up a fight -- doesn't mean that I have to suffer as well (I'm your next-door neighbor). Are you trying to see if you can get this whole building infested? Take my advice and do the following (And if you can't do it yourself, please hire someone to do it for you):

 

1.) Clean everywhere from top to bottom, paying careful attention to your kitchen and bathroom. Scrub your stove and refrigerator, toaster -- all places where food crumbs/grease/warmth are found. Get rid of junk, boxes, paper bags, etc. Place all your foodstuffs & smaller food appliances into zip-lock bags or seal-tight containers.

2.) Get some boric acid powder (hardware store), fine steel wool, caulking material, and a cheap dust mask. Oh, and even if you're on a "budget" this stuff costs less than $20 total. And, again, make sure it's BORIC ACID POWDER, not something else a friendly salesman might try to sell you. That other stuff is crap.

3.) Put on your mask & then lightly (and I mean lightly) dust all baseboards, cracks & crevices, cupboard edges, etc. The powder should barely be noticeable to the naked eye, and food, children, & pets should NOT come into contact with it. Vacuum up excess powder if necessary in exposed areas. Use a small paint brush or toothbrush to do your dusting.

4.) Lightly dust some steel wool with the boric acid powder and stuff it tightly into exposed wall areas such as pipe openings, etc. Oh, and you know that drainage hole in your bathtub that is there for bathtub overflow? Yeah, the drain that rarely if ever gets used? Squirt some powder into it and then tape it up temporarily. Look for all hiding places by thinking like a filthy cockroach. They can hide in some incredibly tight spaces.

5.) Fix all leaky faucets -- cockroaches need water and food. Take their food and water sources away from them. They also love warmth (stoves, underneath refrigerators, etc.)

6.) Caulk & seal any problem baseboards/holes/gaps after you're done using your powder.

7.) Keep your apartment clean and remove your trash everyday.

 

***NOTE: The boric acid powder must remain dry to be effective! ***

 

It's going to take several weeks to kill 'em but it's going to happen. It's nothing short of amazing. Guaranteed to work better than anything these damn pest control companies can do. Killing your cockcoaches will make me very, very happy - and the rest of the people in this building will be thankful as well. Oh, and anyone who doesn't agree with this or is unwilling to give it their best shot is LOVIN their cockroaches, is lazy, and is a fucking inconsiderate jerk.

 

Sincerely yours,

A clean, responsible San Francisco apartment tenant who hates YOUR cockroaches

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++