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How to catch spiders


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i dislike spiders but i fucking HATE centipedes. i remember having a centipede in my basement once that was honestly bigger than my thumb, and thats just it's body, not counting how far its legs were sticking out. i used a dirty car towel to kill that motherfucker.

 

One technique i enjoy is smashing bugs on the ceiling or floor using pool cues or other long objects that allow me to kill without getting in falling/jumping/attacking range.

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Originally posted by isor357@May 20 2005, 07:29 AM

somebody told me yesterday that they were bit by a spider and developed a large cyst on the side of their face. The doctors thought it was cancerous and when they opened him up there were baby spiders living in his face. its just crazy

 

THAT SHIT IS DISGUSTING B. ITS ALSO ILL MEGA BULLSHIT.

 

 

 

 

MERO.

MLBC.

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P.S. I JUST MERKED THE SHIT OUT OF A BROLIC ASS BUMBLE BEE WITH A BROOM. THAT SHIT WOULD NOT DIE. NIGGA KEPT BUZZING...IT WAS AN ANGRY BUZZ TOO, LIKE "NIGGA IF YOU DONT KILL ME IMA STING THE SHIT OUT YOU" SO I STARTED OD'ING ON IT AND STRAIGHT SMASHING THE BROOM ONTO IT WITH RIDICULOUS FORCE. THAT NIGGA IS EXTRA DEAD. TO MAKE SURE I COVERED THE NIGGA IN SHAVE GEL. THE FUNNY PART IS I WAS TALKING TO THE SHIT LIKE "WASSUP NIGGA, I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME...I AINT WANNA DO YOU DIRTY LIKE THAT." I HEARD OTHER BUMBLE BEES COME CHECK YOU IF YOU KILL ONE OF THEIR BRETHREN, IF THATS TRUE THEN IM FULLY FUCKIN FOCUSED WITH THIS BROOM AND A 3PACK OF EDGE SHAVE GEL FROM COSTCO. WHATS REALLY FUCKING GOOD?!

 

MERO.

MLBC.

WUTTUP.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by MrChupacabra@May 20 2005, 03:45 PM

i dislike spiders but i fucking HATE centipedes. i remember having a centipede in my basement once that was honestly bigger than my thumb, and thats just it's body, not counting how far its legs were sticking out. i used a dirty car towel to kill that motherfucker.

 

 

 

PR%20Scolopendra%20sp.%20(a)%7Bks%7D.jpg

 

Puertorrican Giant Centipede. These are the fuckers we have to deal with. The picture is a bit smaller than actual size, they're usually around 10" long or so and built like tanks. Look closely, you will notice it is feeding on a fucking MOUSE.

 

I love bugs and arachnids, but these fuckers are where I draw the line. Once in second grade, one of these guys all of a sudden stormed into the classroom and everyone flipped their shit royally. It was literally kids and teachers screaming like maniacs and standing up on the desks throwing books and shit at it all over the place, but no one could hit it cause they're so goddamn fast. Eventually one of the janitors heard us, so he came into the room and nonchalantly dropped a fucking trash can on it.

 

Another time I was walking by myself down a dirt alley/path/thingie near the beach, and I had this branch I was using as a walking stick. I was about 50 feet from the end of the alley, which was a dead end with a huge boulder, and this fucker just bursts out of the bushes and starts running directly at me, from the direction I had just come from from. Dude was probably just trying to get somewhere, but I was absolutely sure it was dead set on devouring my soul. I ran like crazy down to the end of the alley, turned around, and noticed to my great dismay that the guy hadn't headed back into the bushes. It was coming straight at me. I raised my branch, prayed to yahweh, and brought it down with all my force (wasn't much) right on it. I kinda damaged it a bit, but not much, it still hobbled and it was definitely pissed, raising its head at me and shit. I then proceeded to smash the living crap out of it repeatedly, like at least 20 blows, until this thing was just a mess of legs and chunks of red exoskeleton.

 

Naturally, I HAD to lean in and look at the remains closely. My face was about 20 inches from it when its partially crushed head all of a sudden lunges at me, with jaws thrashing and everything, and I fucking shit my pants explosively. I swear, it was straight out of a horror movie when the victim just HAS to have another look and gets his shit ruined because of it. Thankfully, the rest of it's body was pretty much permanently adhered to the floor, so it couldn't do anything, and I just thrust the end of the stick into the head and ground it into paste. I then ran screaming like a girl as fast as I could. It was very fucking intense.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by GEEB@May 20 2005, 07:38 PM

All I have to say is WOW, to El Mamerro. what state do you live in with such horrid creatures?

 

 

puertorico.gif

 

If you hadn't guessed by the name on the bug...

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Originally posted by El Mamerro@May 20 2005, 08:19 PM

PR%20Scolopendra%20sp.%20(a)%7Bks%7D.jpg

Look closely, you will notice it is feeding on a fucking MOUSE.

 

up here our centipedes will make a light snack out of a fucking MOOSE!

 

moose.jpg

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Killing spiders at my house is a big no no. Spiders are our friends, with the exception of a couple kinds, most spiders kill annoying bugs like moths and mosquitoes. Especially outdoors, those huge garden spiders that make zig zag shapes in their webs are good. Wolf spiders and anything that's not a black widow or a brown recluse are ok in my book. I'm rambling but my old house in Austin had tarantulas in the front and back yards... and I do mean tarantulas, big ass spiders.

 

Most spiders aren't going to just sneak up on your ass while you're sleeping and take a nice bite out of you.

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Originally posted by __ __ __ __@May 20 2005, 07:53 PM

how big is this fucking spider?... i mean like an inch fat or something?...describe it....

 

 

Maybe 2 inch radius total...or is it diameter....from the center of its body to the outside of its legs it might be 2 inches....maybe a bit less. im no good at guestimating length.

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