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Pacu+teeth.jpg

 

When biologists say the pacu fish eats nuts, they may be correct in more ways than one.

 

The pacu, a toothy fish that can weigh up to 55 pounds, has been spotted in Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois, KSDK reports.

 

Responding to a report that a fisherman had reeled in a piranha on June 7, lake superintendent Jim Caldwell brought the fish to the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, where it was identified as a pacu. Some reports say another pacu was seen a couple of weeks later.

 

Caldwell said he is still swimming in the lake nearly every day. Pacus primarily eat nuts, aquatic vegetation and snails, he told KDSK, and pose no real threat to humans.

 

Residents of Papua New Guinea may beg to differ. There, according to British fisherman Jeremy Wade, the pacu is known as the "ball cutter." In 2011, Wade said locals informed him that two fisherman had died from blood loss after something in the water had bitten off their testicles, according to the Metro.

 

"The locals told me that this thing was like a human in the water, biting at the testicles of fishermen," Wade said.

 

Wade determined that the perpetrator was the pacu, which is known for having human-like teeth. The angler did note that such attacks are uncommon, the Daily Mail reports.

 

Though pacus are native to the Amazon Basin, they were released into Papua New Guinea waters in the 1990s as part of an initiative to boost fisheries.

 

Biologists say any pacus in the Illinois lake are most likely former aquarium pets, according to the Journal-News. Anyone caught dumping the fish in the lake could face criminal charges.

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DMX is the one of the most awesomely crazy people in the music industry, hands down. When he’s not busy recording “gospel” music, carjacking automobiles at the fucking airport while posing as a federal agent, running pit bull fighting rings, selling and taking drugs, and accusing women of “raping” him, he somehow finds the time to do interviews.

 

In this excerpt from an interview he did with XXL, the interviewer made the mistake of asking DMX what he thought about the likelihood of Obama becoming president. His response further cemented his reputation as being crazier than a shithouse rat, and is guaranteed to provide you with great LULZ:

 

Are you following the presidential race?

Not at all.

 

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.

His name is Barack?!

 

Barack Obama, yeah.

Barack?!

 

Barack.

What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

 

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.

Barack Obama?

 

Yeah.

What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

 

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.

I ain’t really paying much attention.

 

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…

Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

 

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?

Nope.

 

Is that why you’re not following it?

No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

 

But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.

I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

 

Right, exactly.

It’s all a fuckin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All fuckin’ bullshit. All bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about none of that.

 

We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.

I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

 

Yeah, but the country is.

I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

 

The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?

Nah, never.

 

But Bush pretty much…

You think Bush is making fuckin’ decisions?

 

He did, yeah, he fucked up the country.

He act like he making decisions. He could barely speak! He could barely fuckin’ speak!

Can’t be serious. He ain’t making no damn decisions.

 

Well Barack has a good chance of winning so that might be something.

Good for him, good for him.

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