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seeking

CPA ONER

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a year ago i was a tour manager

6 months ago i was a bouncer.

2 months ago i was a web designer.

now i'm an accountant.

 

my job history section of my resume is hillarious.

 

 

just thought someone might find me being an accountant as funny.

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Originally posted by E MARTYR

i hated accounting in school, class tore me up, got a F in it.

 

i need to be looking for some jobs, im a fucking idiot. letting my dad down and what not... :cry2:

 

what? accounting was only second to art class in the easiest classes in the world line up.

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Originally posted by E MARTYR

im a fucking idiot. letting my dad down and what not... :cry2:

 

tease, you're letting all of humanity down.

 

fr8lover,

payaboo, fool!

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My job history has gone something like this:

 

Freelance Computer Repair / Web Design - 5 years ago

Night Supervisor @ Homeless Shelter - 4 years ago

Resnet Consultant for the girl's dorms - 3-4 years ago

Information Center Operator - 1-3 years ago

Digital Media Consultant - Present

 

The sad part is that I fucking hate working with computers.

:crazy:

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Guest diggity

dont even mention accounting or taxes, freelancing is gonna leave me in a rough spot.

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Guest im not witty

thats funny. im doing the exact same thing. i graduated with an english degree last year and ive been working as an accountant for about 3 weeks. whats really funny is i never took a single business class and now im all up in some accounts receeeeeeeevable. a fucking monkey could do my job.

 

if you can read, you can be an accountant.

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Guest im not witty

http://pics.fotango.com/pictures/0400406792_001P.jpg'>

 

 

 

By Herbert Kornfeld

Accounts Receivable Supervisor

 

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, bruthahs 'n' sistahs. H-Dog here, His Stone Cold Baadness, The Original Gangsta, The Mack Daddy, The Freaky Gangbanga. And I got somethin' to say to all y'all bitches out there: Keep yo' motherfuckin' shit offa my desk, or I'll fuck your sorry ass up wit' a quickness. And I don't want to see y'all comin' around, puttin' your feet on it, neither. Or puttin' your goddamn coffee cups on it and leaving them fucked-up rings all upside the wood and shit.

 

'Cause I keep my fly shit on my desk. I gots my dope spreadsheets, my hangin' file folders, my delinquent-account file, my paper clips, my Post-It note dispenser, my monthly desk planner, my Midstate Office Supply business cards, my four-color ball-point pen, my motherfuckin' dot-matrix printer address labels, and my stoopid-fresh three-hole punch. Not to mention my computer. I swear, if I see any of y'all within three feet of my computer, I'll put a Lee Van Cleef on your bitch ass. I'll come at you like a mother fuck.

 

I'm just trying to keep it real, know what I'm sayin'? I wanna stop the violence before it starts. I could say nothin' and wait in the shadows like some motherfuckin' ninja, and when some punk-ass temp worker come along and start readin' my "Attitude Is A Little Thing That Makes A Big Difference" Successories mouse pad, I could jump out and knock the sucka's teeth the fuck out. 'Cause that would be my right. A man's gotta protect what's his, right?

 

Take what happened just last week. Judy Metzger, this li'l skank-ass ho from Accounts Payable, be runnin' her ass around the office, puttin' cupcakes wit' the goddamn smiley faces and shit on people's desks. I'm like, "Whus this smiley-face shit y'all be puttin' on my desk?" And she's like, "I made cupcakes for everyone in the office last night!"

 

Now, I don't take shit from nobody, and I sure as hell don't take no shit from some bitch from Accounts Payable, so I picks up my letter opener and do some crazy kung-fu shit on her. "Flag yo' ass outta here, bitch, and keep yo' fuckin' cupcake shit offa my fly desk."

 

She go runnin' out of the room and go gets her supervisor, Myron Schabe, from across the hall. Like I'm supposed to be scared of that. Myron older than shit and he wear bow ties like he Pee Wee Muthafuckin' Herman or somethin'. So then he come up to my cubicle and say, "Herbert, I think there's been a misunderstanding. It was Judy's turn this week to bring in a treat." I tell him I don't like no bitches from Accounts Payable puttin' no shit on my desk. But this Myron fool keep pushin' it, tellin' me: "It was meant as a nicety, Herbert, nothing else. It's Co-Worker Appreciation Month, and everybody's scheduled to bring in a treat. You yourself are signed up for next Wednesday."

 

So you know what I tell him? I says, "I ain't gonna be bringing in no motherfuckin' treat, motherfucker. Treats is for old ladies in the nursing home and shit. And ain't nobody gonna be layin' they smiley-face bullshit on my dope fly desk. I gots everything where I want it, and ain't no little ho gonna be fuckin' it all up. So take yo' bitch-ass, bow-tie self and get the fuck out of my cubicle before I cut you, beee-yaatch!"

 

After that, Myron walk out of there wit' his li'l dick between his legs. Ain't no Accounts Payable supervisor motherfucka gonna tell Herbert Kornfeld what to do. And no one else, for that matter. You put shit on my desk, you just signed your death warrant. I mean it. Heads will get flown.

 

H-Dog out. And to all my homies in Accountz Reeceevable and the bruthahs kickin' it down in Shipping, keep ya heads up. Peace.

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Guest krie

ive worked in a grocery store twice, as a ship builder, a sign writer, a glazier (glass man), a guitar shop , and now i work at a company doing their computer systems. the guitar shop was the best job

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Guest krie

Seeking, do you use MYOB for you job ?

 

i actually set the company's system up where im at now, its so dull and boring the program is.

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Guest diggity
Originally posted by im not witty

if you can read, you can be an accountant.

 

I wouldnt bank on that though, they have to pass a really hard test in order to get certified. when you as an accountant how many times he took it, you can use the same equation when asking a girl how many people shes slept with.

 

X times 3

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Guest im not witty

i hear you about being a real accountant.. im more of a temporary replacement. my job is basically.... "hey see these numbers? type them in here and make sure they match these numbers. repeat."

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Originally posted by im not witty

i hear you about being a real accountant.. im more of a temporary replacement. my job is basically.... "hey see these numbers? type them in here and make sure they match these numbers. repeat."

 

BINGO.

basically, my job is just smashing my head against a wall over and over until the blood distorts my vision, or i go to lunch.

its cool though, its temporary.

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I've worked at Kookin Fuckin Chicken, Little Skeezer's, and some barbecue joint, the barbecue place was the worst.

 

Other job histories include:

 

Maytag man

Neon sign technician

Contract computer tech person

I've worked on and cleaned AC systems and their ducts for corporations. (a crappy job that pays very well)

Yard mower... etc.

 

Pretty much, I hate clocking in and living a boring life that's the same day to day. So I try to keep some variety in what I do. I'm always asking mom and pop stores if they need any extra help. One can most definitely get by, and have some nice material things too, with enough contract labor jobs here and there... It's time for me to go get ready for work....bleh.

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Guest im not witty

haha. oh man i feel you. this job is more like pushing the feed pellet in a science project than it is actual work. id rather be back in the warehouse lifting boxes. at least i can wear what i want. oh well, back to this lovely stack of checks.

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Guest beardo

more like you've found your calling. your ability to avoid paying any kinds of bills what so ever is borderline genius. an asset to any company on the rise :D

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