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Ski Mask

hey......what the hell is that guy doing?

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check it out. that guy is throwing computers into the dumpster!

where?

down in the parking lot. look.

who the hell is that?

I dunno. nobody from here. maybe he's from the building next door

hey we gotta pay for that removal what the hell does he think hes doing?

look, he's got a whole little hand cart full of them.

bang on the window and see what he does.

*4 people bang on window*

shit, he looked up, did you see that?

yeah, but he's started throwing them out again.

shit. somebody should run and get dave.

yeah

HEY DAVE! COME CHECK THIS OUT!

what the hell is that guy doing? we gotta pay for that!

thats why we called you.

man, theres an enviro levy on that. we had to pay somebody to get rid of ours last time, he cant just toss it in our dumpster.

I know

I'm gonna go out and talk to him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

jesus christ I work with some boring ass people.

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sounds like there scared of the mysterious figure that is "the guy throwing computers in our dumpster"

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I dont have to patience to give our lip-reading play by play but he talked to him and it was some lackey from next door. boss said "throw these computers in the dumpster out back" and he did. didnt really seem to be too concerned about anything. anyways. break is over. back to the pit with those boring motherfuckers till lunch.

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*in anouncer voice*

 

Come back next week when dave has to fire his girlfriend of 3 years

and the goofy antics of the company lackey

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Guest

I see why you've turned to freights for your off hours.

Otherwise you'd be a gap shopping, green minivan driving hockey dad.

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Guest im not witty

this seems like the perfect thread to annouce that im working at a new boring office job, one that allows me internet access . check it out, im being payed to be on dozen ounce for the first time. i know alot of you fucks have been enjoying this for eons, but let me have my moment okay.

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Originally posted by im not witty

i know alot of you fucks have been enjoying this for eons, but let me have my moment okay.

 

no problem man...welcome to the club.

 

ese...I think you should've ad libbed a better ending to that story.

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Originally posted by SteveAustin

ese...I think you should've ad libbed a better ending to that story.

 

 

well if you allow me....

 

So I went down to talk to this guy who was tossing out the old comps in the dumpster. He was looking really shifty and he kept looking over his shoulders like he knew he was up to no good. So using my ninja stelth I crept up and taped him on the shoulder. That's when I noticed he was wearing gloves, which struck me as rather odd for such a hot day. Well you should have seen this guy jump. He tried to take a swing at me but I ducked out. He spun around and started running away. I shouted to him that it's only a dumpster and I really didn't care if he wanted to use it, but he was long gone. I took a peak in the dumpster just to see how much crap the guy had left behind but something seemed strange. These computers were like nothing I had ever scene. The casings were this polished gun metal and they almost glowed green from the reflection of the dumpster. I poked at the power switch and the thing turned on! Now this was really wierd. They must run on some internal power supply. Why would a goon like that guy be tossing such cool computers?

 

Well I dragged one of them out of the dumpster and waved up to the stiffs in my office window. The looked shocked like they had seem aliens or something. I guess it was a little too much excitment for these 'Will and Grace' watching rejects. So I walked back to the building and that's when the strange stuff stared happening. I had forgot my pass card on my desk but the door opened for me anyways. Then I get to the elevator and the thing went haywire. I had to walk up the fire stairs for six damn flights. When I finally got into the office everyone from the entire floor was gathered around me to ask about what happened. That assmokey Dave was all up in my face saying 'why the hell did you bring that computer up here'. 'Just shut up and clear a spot on my desk.'

 

So I plop the box down and hit the power button. A coded login scrren poped up and there was a strange looking picture with a handprint on it. It almost looked like one of those touch screen code things you see in the movies. Well damned if that tool Dave didn't just flap his hand against the screen. These scan lines started going up and down his hands and even though I pulled at his wrist, he couldnt take his hand off the monitor. What the hell was going on? 'Unauthorized Acess Aptempt Reported' flashed on the screen and it finially let Dave the ditchpig have his hand back. The power blacked out and the computer went silent. I tried hitting the power switch but it wouldn't turn back on. 'Oh good one Davey-boy' I said. 'You've gone and broke it'.

 

Unbenounced to the both of us,

somewhere across town, a van load of men all dressed in black,

and armed like Kabar at a bbq were already loaded into a helicopter

and headed in our direction.

 

someone else take over

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Originally posted by Kilo7-

I see why you've turned to freights for your off hours.

Otherwise you'd be a gap shopping, green minivan driving hockey dad.

 

the whole "business casual" rule is driving me dangerously close. Last week I actually said "alright! my real estate agent called and I can get the keys on sunday!"

 

sure its just a new apartment, but hearing myself say shit like that scares me.

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this was some old ass shit. 486s that looked like they had been collecting dust for a LONG time. otherwise I definately would have scavenged some shit for myself.

 

 

dave is the IT manager and we were giving him shit about going out and fishing them out so we could upgrade the computers we have in our department.

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Originally posted by Dirty_habiT

Hahahahaha.... your office computers still running on a token ring network? Jkjkj nerd joke comin through.

 

 

nah, our shits pretty up to date. we're doing lots of financial transactions and constantly accessing large databases, so if our shit slows down we lose a fortune. I'm just in a department where nobody knows shit about computers, so anything less than IMMEDIATE response results in "this thing needs more memory!" or "this computer sucks, when are we going to upgrade?!"

 

 

 

ugh. lunch is over.

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Originally posted by Dirty_habiT

Hahahahaha.... your office computers still running on a token ring network? Jkjkj nerd joke comin through.

yeah get that linear bus network yall

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Guest

^ so if someone left computers in front of your couch you wouldn't

thanks the man and offer him a beer? That's only be fair.

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i had an outdoor job where i listend to death metal, did physical work, and looked at hotchicks(sometimes) and chilled with mexicans, and talked about sluts n beer.

 

 

now im in school.......god i miss those days....but the labor and pay kinda sucked....oh well...

 

 

 

im trying to get a jb in tellemarketing.......lets see how that works out!

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Originally posted by CRAMPS

im trying to get a jb in tellemarketing.......lets see how that works out!

 

dont call Milton. (see Fun With Telemarketers thread)

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Originally posted by CRAMPS

im trying to get a jb in tellemarketing.......lets see how that works out!

 

Careful with that telemarketing shit. One of my buddies got a job with a telemarketing company and ended up in federal prison for 3 years cuz the whole thing was a scam to get old people for their scratch.

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*IMPORTANT NEWS*

 

according to the manager of customer service, and a few of my castrated co-workers. that abba musical "Mama Mia!" is really good!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you know tickets for that are hard to get......

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^ ese

 

run.

 

If Abba wasn't gay enough, watching gay men dance to their songs puts

the whole experience into that ubergay zone known as 'the pottery barn'.

 

 

RUN!

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Kilo7- its all your fault. you guys and your fucking SARS. If the tourism industry there didnt bottom out they never would have packed up and moved here for a few months. now I gotta hear my fucking braindead coworkers bleating about how much they enjoyed it. and how everyone should go.

 

 

 

 

 

and I swear the super 50/50 draw is fucking rigged. some bitch in credit won again. I could have used the cash this week.

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I was thinking today that I should start devoting five dollars a week to lottery and always play the same numbers. Hopefully I win before the money I spent out weighs the money I should win.

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