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the rules of hardcore

 

i thought this was funny

 

1) Be tough at all times.

2) Never cheer after a show...only clap.

3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way

4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.

5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them.

6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 3 on how to see said tattoo more clearly.

7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough.

8)Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.

9) (Exception to rule Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.

10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.

11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town.

12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core.

13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.

14) Keep it in the do-jo.

15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.

16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs!

17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Halud.

1 Tell people you work in the music industry.

19) More Ankles people!

20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you.

21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again.

22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.

23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.

24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.

25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain.

26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album.

27) Start your own hardcore band.

2 Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.

29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible.

30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience.

31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.

32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX XmoshfuckX

33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny.

34) It's merch not Merchandise.

35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.

36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.

37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are.

3 Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis.

39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal...steal the mic away from the singer.

40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff".

41) Buy all of that bands merch.

42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.

43) Repeat steps 41 and 42

44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones.

45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well.

46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year.

47) Complain that they are playing with slayer but don't admit you actually like Slayer.

4 Complain at all costs.

49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool

50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.

 

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51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference.

52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better yet....stay home and cry.

53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.

54) Scream about love.

55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.

56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.

57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band.

58)Wear your pins with honour! Shai Halud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of valour.

59) Velcro shoes are cool.

60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.

61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly.

62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.

63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.

64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free.

65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough.

66) Re-issue your demos after every album.

67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play.

6 Crying on stage makes you a professional.

69) Complain some more.

70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.

 

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71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking.

72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York.

73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional.

74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Ruben)

75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear.

76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk?

77) Bandanas are cool.

7 Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.

79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser.

80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really.

81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band.

82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity.

83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.

84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.

85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch bootlegs of last weeks

86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle.

87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong.

8 Keep punching

89) Kick a little too

90) Punch

91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.

92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.

93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.

94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy.

95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.

96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.

97) Straight bangs means straight-edge

99) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.

99) When in doubt Mock everything

100) Take everything personally.

101) Assume this list is about you!

 

 

have fun xkidsx

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Originally posted by wa5tePHK

you cramps, you from colorado? it would be cool to meet another writer whos into hardcore. im always at alot of shows. hell maybee i already know you.

 

 

yah i am, boulder. i havent been to many hardcore shows latley, manley metal and jazz.

 

but yah if your in boulder, id be down to meeting.

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Originally posted by MrChupacabra

[saturday.July 12]

[At The Quest Ascot Room](Minneapolis)

[DOORS 2pm . $10]

DEVILINSIDE ... HASTE ... AS HOPE DIES

NEHEMIAH ... MISERY SIGNALS ... BURY YOUR DEAD

THE BLINDING LIGHT ... WITH DEAD HANDS RISING

In review of this show:

WDHR played first, and they rocked shit. This was my second time seeing them, and they were even better this time, even played some older songs. Fun moshing. The Blinding light and As hope Dies both dropped from this show, so straight to buryyourdead. I didn't really know what to expect from buryyourdead since i'd only heard a couple of their songs, and i had heard mixed reviews about their live performance, but they put on a pretty good show. They're music makes for good moshing, so fun was had by all. Misery Signals: I had heard one of their songs prior to this show, but had heard a lot of hype, and they lived up to it. They sounded super good, and had a very large pit going on. Nehemian: Flat out killed it. Every time i see these guys they get better and better, and this was by far the best set i've heard them play. The highlight was them closing with The Asphyxiation Process; giant pit, and huge pile ups for the sing along, which i got a good part of. Unfortunetly for the next to bands, the large majority of people left after nehemiah. After them Haste went on, and they definitely didn't fit in with all these super metalcore bands. They weren't bad, but just didn't seem to be in the right place, and no one in the crowd was moving at all. Devilinside played last and was ok, but there were only 4 or 5 people in the crowd dancing(including myself) and then there were a bunch of stupid kids trying to start a push pit and trying to knock over the few of us that were left dancing, so i left a little before the end of their set. All in all, very good show, and if you ever get the chance to see Nehemiah, WDHR, or Misery Signals, then go.

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Originally posted by wa5tePHK

wats the next show your gonna be at. i go to alot of metal shows to. im goin to cradle aof filth and killswitch on monday and ill be at the tulagi on the 17th for as i lay dying

 

 

im not going to cradel of filth cuz i dont want to deal with the goth kids, but ill try to make it to tulagis.

 

if i go ill be a stocky kid in a dead speak shirt with brown hair.

 

 

im going to the locust at the blue bird on the 31st.

 

and im going to the dying fetus and skinlis show at the gothic theater on the 8th of aug.

 

ill try and find you:king:

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So i'm chilling at my friends house, sore from last nights show and wondering if there are any other good shows coming up. So i roll home and check out a local hardcore site and see this:

 

8/7

Triple Rock Social Club(Minneapolis)

 

Lamb of God

Martyr AD

Bongzilla

Nehemiah

 

 

Fucking OOF!

 

that show is going to kill. Its $12 which is a bit more then usual for a 4 band hardcore show, but i think it'll be worth it.

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colorado kids???

 

what? are there finally some on here? word. cradle of filth sucked last night. hugely disappointed. though sworn enemy and kse definately provided myself with many dance opportunities. mosh mosh mosh. is as i lay dying really playing w/ himsa? if so, sick. i'll see you kids there. i'll be rocking the gray bandana. xsdrx.

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philly hardcore...

 

a life once lost

all else failed

horror show

punishment

one up

bad luck 13...metal i guess

dark day dawning

set ablaze

___________

 

shattered realm

old sworn enemy

old hatebreed

caliban..metal

converge

north side kings

american nightmare...give up the ghost

nourish the flame

blood for blood

most precious blood

dillinger escape plan

bane

terror

clenched fist

death threat

bleeding through..metal

 

 

i could keep going on but im not.

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Originally posted by fuckoff

philly hardcore...

 

a life once lost

all else failed

horror show

punishment

one up

bad luck 13...metal i guess

dark day dawning

set ablaze

___________

 

shattered realm

old sworn enemy

old hatebreed

caliban..metal

converge

north side kings

american nightmare...give up the ghost

nourish the flame

blood for blood

most precious blood

dillinger escape plan

bane

terror

clenched fist

death threat

bleeding through..metal

 

 

i could keep going on but im not.

 

wait, those arnt all philly bands, right? bane is from boston and so is converge.

 

but wasnt kid dynamite from philly?or was it new jersey? i think that band was ex lifetime which would make them from jersey but im not sure

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Re: colorado kids???

 

Originally posted by SkyDancer666

what? are there finally some on here? word. cradle of filth sucked last night. hugely disappointed. though sworn enemy and kse definately provided myself with many dance opportunities. mosh mosh mosh. is as i lay dying really playing w/ himsa? if so, sick. i'll see you kids there. i'll be rocking the gray bandana. xsdrx.

 

hey man i was there. what do you look like. im a chunky mexican kid. i was wearin a blue shirt with graff on it. if you were on the second level you might have seen me and my boy fuk up some guy.

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Re: Re: colorado kids???

 

Originally posted by wa5tePHK

hey man i was there. what do you look like. im a chunky mexican kid. i was wearin a blue shirt with graff on it. if you were on the second level you might have seen me and my boy fuk up some guy.

 

i was on the second level getting my mosh on during kse and after. i'm a scrawny white kid. straight edge cocacola shirt on.... go to unearth.

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