Giving Tree Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 Originally posted by When here you bastards go... for the third time! so i go to this party just looking to have a good time and as always looking to bag a chick or two while there i drove a rental car there due to my ride being broken (thank god) it was a midsize sedan (not too important but good room in it for sex) so im drinking a bit when this girl comes up and starts talking to me im talking to her and drinking some more when she asks me if i want to fuck, of course i say yes because she doesnt look half bad as far as my eyes are concerned. i mention that we can go to my car and get our action on because it has a decent sized back seat, so we get up and head out to the car for a little bump and grind, we start kissing and fucking around a bit and shes getting all drippy and excited so i see it as my time to get my dick up in her guts, so were going at it for a bit and the windows are all foggy and its getting pretty hot in the car... just a musty sex mist in the air that almost makes you sick. she whispers in my ear to let her know when im about to cum i figure its just so she knows that im going to pull out or something (since i wasnt wearing a condom) so i tell her that ill let her know. a few minutes later im on the verge and i tell her that im going to bust and as im just about to pull out, this bitch sticks her finger as far up my ass as she possibly ever could (atleast it felt that way) now as soon as she did this it triggered something in me to let my bowels release (i dont know if its a human biology thing or what?) and the gates of hell opened as my ass started bursting with shit all over the back seat of the car, i get freaked out, and get out of the car pants in hand to run back in the house to clean myself up. im in the house for a good 5 minutes in the bathroom cleaning shit off of my skin and clothes i come back outside to see what the fuck she is up to figuring she would want to go clean up or something... but what do i see once i open the door? this bitch is rubbing her goddamned face in my shit! i proceed to flip out yelling at her, im just going fucking irate she then bolts out of the car door and takes off running down the street thats the last i ever saw of her, and the funny thing is no one even knows who the fuck she was, she just showed up at the party. well there is When's worst sexual experience/shit story HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST. that has totally changed my outlook on the day. wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WebsterUno Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 *believe* thats fucking funny! hahahahahaha... I dont think its my worst, I might have to think back a lil more.. I was eating a bitch out once, going to town on this girl, right.. when she starts welping all crazy like, and then she fuckin farts in my face. (We were in the 69 position) I threw her ass off the bed, and jumped up in like a milisecond, yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK!!" Then I ran to the bathroom and puked, cuzz I smelled it, blah! *Im choking right now, just thinking about it* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr8oholic Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 wow, so many nasty shitting/sex stories... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giving Tree Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 any time your that close to the ass.. something is bound to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aichs47 Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 i was never an ass man!! fuck a chilli dog!!http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon27.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon27.gif'> lol chilli dogs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrampBurner Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 The secrets these girls keep... I was seeing this one girl for a bit. And I would mess around with her on the daily tip, almost. She never seemed to be around n the weekends. Then one day while I was at her house all up in the knappy dugout, her boyfriend walks in. I had no idea dude even existed. She had been seeing him for like four years. I felt like a dick first for messing with a guy's girl, then for messing up a guy's face for talking shit. Oh well I think the pussy was worth the shiner on my eye. Especially after I saw his nose all wrapped and bent a couple days later. ReVoS -"I got a man" -"What's ya man got to do wit me?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ArtvandaL Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 so i was fuckin this giant fat obese black woman right, she blows me, then we fuick, then i was eating her out, keep in mind, shes FAT, so she clamps her thighs and Im suddenly trapped between her legs, I couldnt talk and she was loving it but didnt know I was dying, She loosened up and I jumped up and told her I almost sufocated, I let her suck me again and bounced thinking of what people would say when asked, how did he die? worst sexual experience ever... plus whisky dick once, that sucked like a motherfucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WebsterUno Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 now that was funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoshy Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 Originally posted by welcome mat "UNCUFF ME YOU BITCH" haahaaa and when, that story is great...and insane all at the same time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WebsterUno Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 Whens story had me rollen! I had to tell the person sitting next to me. he cracked up too. Girl was just wrong for that shit, putting it on her face...damn! :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest -MOE LESTER- Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 Originally posted by ArtvandaL so i was fuckin this giant fat obese black woman right, she blows me, then we fuick, then i was eating her out, keep in mind, shes FAT, so she clamps her thighs and Im suddenly trapped between her legs, I couldnt talk and she was loving it but didnt know I was dying, She loosened up and I jumped up and told her I almost sufocated, I let her suck me again and bounced thinking of what people would say when asked, how did he die? worst sexual experience ever... plus whisky dick once, that sucked like a motherfucker. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH NIGGAAAA!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 Whens story takes the cake!!I wanna know what that ho was thinkn,like how did she develop that (fetish) or what the fuk she was gonn do after haven shit smirred on her face??Just stroll back on in2 the party & ask 2 use the bathroom hey?Seriously that just proves theres some messed up ppl out there.:) :) Had me laughn my ass off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted February 8, 2003 Share Posted February 8, 2003 Originally posted by WebsterUno Whens story had me rollen! I had to tell the person sitting next to me. he cracked up too. you know if i can make peoplle laugh by my unfortunate encounter it was all worth it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skaterzoot Posted February 8, 2003 Share Posted February 8, 2003 HAHAHA i just love how the bitch with shit on her face takes off down the street...I can only think of how much shit the cop has to deal with that picks her up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Can we get this kickn again plz lads.Whens story still gets props Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alure Posted March 21, 2003 Share Posted March 21, 2003 Originally posted by When you know if i can make peoplle laugh by my unfortunate encounter it was all worth it hahahahha..that is nasty.. ughh.. wtf is wrong with that girl haha...eww could you imagine if everyone would have walked outside of the party while you were screaming.haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Cmon ppl's get this going again. I got one it has nothing on most of u other lads though.Few years ago hittin the beers VB stlyes melbournes finest at this house party im tuneing this girl early in the night thinkn yeah its all good il hook in later on.So night pass's by a few hours later ive necked some ridicolus amont of alcholoe in a short period of time i see this fine red head again i wanted 2 find out if the rumors where true about redheads.Anyways all's good we start getting it on then bang outta no where i throw up on this poor girl who is in a state of shock like what the fuk just happened?Needless 2 say i didnt tap in afterwards.Was hung over for 2 days sick as a dog after that,im guessn i had alcholoe posioning but didnt get the stomach pump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAITOMANOCU Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 me and this girl were 69in' and her ass wasn't as clean as i would have liked it, but that's okay because i was batting from behind a couple minutes later...not the worst, but then again, i haven't had too many sexual experiences anyway :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loyd Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 not mine, read about it in the crime section of a local paper a couple years back. Guy gets picked up at bar by an attractive woman who takes him to the edgewatter, which is a hotel that frank zappa included in a song. Anyway they fuck and she says I want you to tie me up and give it to me, so he does and after she askes to tie him up, he agrees and then she leaves and a man comes out of the closet wearing a batman costume, I imagine you can figure out the rest. tragic really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by loyd a man comes out of the closet wearing a batman costume, I imagine you can figure out the rest. tragic really ha thats so wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 DAM!!Thats some wak shit!^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Born Loser Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 water sports if you know what I mean..girl did itto me once while she was riding me...NEVER AGAIN.:nope: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S@T@N Posted March 23, 2003 Author Share Posted March 23, 2003 This one's recent and it truly breaks my fucking heart. So this girl I've had sex with countless times, and done pretty much everything with, comes up to my place. She came up because she said she was horny and i said well hey..... I've got nothing to do, you can come here and if something happens, all the better. So she comes up and we kinda get into some foreplay.... and it's been many months since I've done anything with a girl. She starts suckin my dick and I fuckin bust so fast..... I don't even fucking know. It never happened before, not even the very first time I got head, not when I've fucked, so I dunno. I felt so fucking lame. :( Word to blowin it like a newbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
test pattern Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by S@T@N :( Word to blowin it like a newbie :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Yo s@t@n u better of got back in the saddle & kept it going.Just play it like its coz shes so hot u cant control ur self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 tonight, worst EVER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Originally posted by Smart tonight, worst EVER! uh huh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted March 30, 2003 Share Posted March 30, 2003 Originally posted by Smart tonight, worst EVER! Plz xplain.^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted April 6, 2003 Share Posted April 6, 2003 This thread is due 4 an update peoples. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 6, 2003 Share Posted April 6, 2003 a friend of mine recently got gonoreah from this chick he was with but ive been getting by pretty unscathed in the sexual department lately yipee for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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