Your post reminds me of this pooping at work guide I found and sent around a few weeks back. Said something like when you & the boss enter the bathroom at the same time you should make like your washing your hands & bail. Since I can't find it now, I'll leave this:
Hmm. I have my shit fairly well together, but growing up is still not a priority.
“Great is the man who has not lost his childlike heart.” -Mencius
And sorry, Michael Jackson does not count!