thanks guys. have had a bit of time to step away from it and talked to the sponsor and mostly resolved what happened. (that stuff = essential, always run your nonsense through someone else if you have the option...)
it was a bit my fault but also a terrible fit with the interviewer, who would have been my boss' boss. her and i weren't getting on at all and she hadn't reviewed my portfolio or any application materials prior to my arrival so i had to rush through them. not how i envisioned my introduction to this job, which is 10 minutes from my house and pays well (and is next to a good bench spot in my area). i'd built it up in my head to be the perfect job. but those high expectations were mine to set, and mine to fall from.
an experience like that sucks for anyone, in or out of recovery, but i'm grateful for a sober network that'll catch me when i get all up in my head.
good to see y'all. how you been @theprotester ????????