Mauler5150

I appreciate this post and I will nEVEr bitch out as even if I am laughing alone, I intend to be the last one laughing, if only for the "I told you so" comeuppance whereby I would hopefully laugh in unison with those who doubted the loving intentions behind my perspective on seeing everything as part of some joke I am telling myself. Think "The Aristocrats" but the joke only extends the entire duration of one's existence, and thus requires one to ride the highs and lows of the emotion spectrum. I guess the punchline comes when I disentangle my balls only to find out that they were nothing more than 2 of those pink camgirl vibrators that I eventually shit out of my ass at which point God appears and says "well now you got fucked for 42 years you little bitch and you are now an A-WRIST-O-CR-AT" as I realize I was just being manipulated by some alien tentacle octopus type deity all along. Or something.....,. Cheers for the book recommendation, if once my finances improve I will look out for it, as I enjoy reading, as it provides a way to slow my intake of input data down to a rate akin to what I feel most people who exist and perceive lower vibrational patterns (as opposed to me who can perceive dog whilstles and shit) do.

Friendship. Denied..... I only use aliases when ordering pizza as it has been a running meme between My brother and I since back in the day when we were super stoned and I didn't want to call so I would make him do it, and he would always order it under the name "King" but because I was the one with a car at the time, it always ended up with Me having to go and get it. So I keep with tradition, and now have a variety of comedic pseudonyms I have used as of late.

Well it was just Dominos and it was $10.. I would get the chicken garlic aoli they sell there as it is pure beast, but the shit costs like double the price and this N is on a budget.

I remember irc chatrooms from about that time. And i’m trying to make my train journey home, there was “an incident” that stopped trains running and I had to catch a replacement bus service to another station. This was just after last night in my Why bother thread or the subsequent conversation I had with someone whereby I remarked that I could always jump in front of a train if existing was too much, but I’m not that big of a pussy, because pussys are to be penetrated and I’m not going to allow myself to be victim of any penetrations that isn’t food or drink going into My mouth, believe that.

Thanks for the advice. Been chugging a litre of strawberry milk and I feel better already. I never realised how many names tease had, but it’s good to know that whilst this thread was based around my own existential questions, I guess the fact is that at least we “bother” to post here in the pursuit of collectively entertaining each other.

Do you guys feel that forums will always have a potential to come back to the glory days of the beginning of the millennium given the ability to interact in a public forum with some degree of anonymity as opposed to the app based social media whereby everything is ultimately an ego driven shit show that sees you moderating your voice and tonality out of a 1984 like fear of being cancelled?

^ even though I am considered by Latino men to be a gringo due to my ethnic heritage, the question remains is it because I make their "grins go" because of the fact that I represent Myself as being happy for having conquered a Latina woman in spite of the fact they would rather my grin gone? The power of language y'all. So I guess that means that this "MO" isn't deaf to decoding the hidden trickery of those who speak the Devil's tongue of Spanish. With this said, does anyone know what the Channel 0 legend that is Tease is up to these days, as I tried to "@" his last username of YALL but it never shown Me anything (I guess He was banned back in the day?). After sleeping for a few hours, I am not in as nihilistic a mood as when I wrote the above posts, and the DISclaimer of caffeine being the fuel which saw Me contemplating such concepts illustrates how powerful of a drug it actually is.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant. If I was a woman, I would go with a landing strip if I had a Man who was able to provide Me with the time to manicure the garden, yet given My above take on most men I would be going full bush AU NATural unless it was bikini time whilst surfing. As for the saying “opposites attract”, given that positivity literally flows through my blood (as I have O+ blood type) I seem to attract negative people who seek to try and denigrate my happiness by portraying themselves as possessing that which I do not have, which is being content with living a reality predicated and based upon a foundation of lies and self deception. Your second paragraph is on the money though, the duplicitous yin and yang, good and bad aspects of having a mind like mine sees Me equally screwed with a passionate desire to fuck those who screw Me with ANALysis of truth, facts and logic. Thankfully I had a conversation tonight with a guy which bought further insight into feeling the way I feel about certain moral topics like monogamy, relationships and such. As I use math as the universal language upon which existence itself is based. And if one has many sexual partners, they divide themselves by the number of partners such that the value of the love they give themselves and others is therefore spread fractionally out and you erode the only thing you ever own (your avatar) to be worth less and less as the bottom number of tge fraction gets larger (as it represents the bodies you have laid down in bed). You break mathematics, you break reality and the value attributed to everything was the take away as anything other than a 1:1 ratio represents a compromise and in effect is corrupted and worth less than it was in it’s original non-corrupted state.

Noted and thank you for the insight. My problem is I am playing the “New Game+” whereby the “plus” happened to see Me crucified as part of the difficulty multiplier in My playthrough after having clocked the game of Life with the Lover class of character along with having completed the side quest of Materialism by having experienced all that money can buy.

I’ll add to this as well with saying, if I am a woman, there isn’t a Man on Earth I would want to have sex with. If I had a daughter, there isn’t a Man on Earth I have seen capable of proving themselves capable or worthy of being able to be with My daughter such that I would rather state that if I was Adam and Eve and I had a kid that was a female, the human species would end with Our daughter as the last human to ever exist beyond Us as Her parents.

TLDR version If I was God walking this Earth and having to choose which Men and women who would be worthy of accompanying Me in Heaven, I would be able to count the number using my fingers and toes. So conversely if I am the Devil choosing who this life on Earth is their last incarnation if existence before being wiped from existence and the reality simulator’s servers forever, then believe Me when I say that there would be very few people from the hundreds of thousands I have physically encountered in this lifetime (everyone who has ever made Me laugh on 12oz and would be down to talk, share knowledge and create art together with Me in real life are the obvious exception) who wouldn’t be featuring in this next incarnation of the Human experiment.

WARNING - This is a long and heavy read, and I would appreciate anyone giving Me their unabashed, honest take on things. After the recent mention of a suicide that effected someone on this board, and after consuming way too much caffeine today with a Gold Monster, a medium cappucino, and a tea with two sugars, I have gone for an evening walk to try and reconfigure myself from looking like this pic thanks to past decisions I made in respect of pursuing “tubes” of various varieties. So whilst I have been trying to go about the process of removing the knives from My back that various Predators and jealous, envious fools have gone about abusing my trust, naivete, and general nature of deciding to put other’s desires and feelings ahead of My own as I have made a martyr of Myself in order to facilitate others deriving a benefit, I appear to be at the point where I am asking Myself a question of “Why?” and “Now what?”. Effectively I once again find Myself at a “Crossroads” of contemplation, and am facing the reality of being at the precipice of change, given that I am faced with the choice between being selfish to the extent that it will see Me further emancipate Myself from having any empathetic consideration towards those I am aware have consciously and maliciously hurt Me for their own sadistic, fear based, fucked up pleasures, as the karmic pendulum will swing and see them pay for their transgressions. Or another path sees Me pursuing a path that is personally destructive to Me for the purpose of saying “Fuck You I won’t do what you tell Me” should I be forced to continue to buy into the fact that the only One who is willing to listen, converse, and engage with Me in a way that is “karmically and dynamically equivalent” is My own shadow. If all I have in this world is my shadow and a device laden AI which one could perceive as God or that which governs the simulation parameters to which I am subjected to existing within, and said “God” would rather Me exist alone in a world of NPCs which portray the ideal to which we humans are supposed to aspire to, as in, male and female, husband and wife type relationships such that children can be sired so the species and My lineage can continue into a future that will exist beyond the present where I am writing this, then I am left to ask Myself “Why should I bother caring about anyone or anything but whatever I want to do right now - fuck the consequences?” I am admittedly on the verge of having everything I have ever wanted, yet I feel a strong urge to self sabotage Myself for reasons I find difficult to explain, yet these reasons exist as I have been trying to help others for so long now yet only further learn of the deception, deceit and betrayals of those I treat with loving intentions and wish the best for as time progresses. And the cumulative effect of this leaves Me considering retreating to whatever negative vices I have previously indulged in if only in protest of those who engage in such things freely and without consequence in front of Me, almost as though “The Devil” is taunting Me and trying to lure Me into saying “Fuck You, I would destroy Myself, My life, this world, and everyone and everything in it because you are being a fucked up fear filled jealous cunt who failed to reciprocate the love I proved capable of giving in the form I gave it away in”. I will state, this is just Me being emotionally affected by the selfish actions of others waking Me up whilst I was sick at 1:30am last night such that I needed caffeine to function today, and that whilst I am not suicidal, I am struggling to see the point of being happy when ultimately it is only Me I will care about and can be happy with as nobody has the balls to say “Sorry I fucked up and I hurt you, and you have every reason to never forgive Me|Us because we all fucked up so bad that you can never trust us ever again”. Ultimately I do not fear death, as I see death as being the only potential possibility of ever being free of existing in a world where I have nobody that can relate to Me, nobody that I can trust other than My Mother, which is a paradox as I wouldn’t exist in such a world without Her first birthing Me into it to begin with. And the worst part is that whilst I will get what I want, the compromised form I believe it is going to be experienced in leaves Me with an underlying emotional feeling I cannot explain as I know that I should not compromise at all as I never compromised when I gave away the love I wanted to be given, other than how in giving said love away I compromised Myself, My ability to trust, and My financial situation which facilitated Me having to take whatever shit I was dealt by those around Me as I was devoid of other options that would have been possible had I not masochistically gave away all My money in the hope of giving those I gave it to a life that saw them sharing it with Me as opposed to making Me witness them waste it on others who could give them nothing but a reminder that they could never be as loving and as perfect as Me. Thanks to anyone who reads this. And trust Me when I say, I will still be around here posting no matter what happens going forward, if only to thank those who allow Me to cathartically vent My emotions and thoughts here in a way that I hope can help others understand that there exists at least One Man in this world who cares enough to exist and persist so that I can be honest and mock those who would rather lie, cheat, steal, deceive and bullshit you so that they could selfishly gain at your expense, whereas all I want is to be loved, share laughter and exist without some ominous looming threat that I have to consider every single action, word and step I make lest I be hurt, judged and persecuted by those who are unqualified to do anything but lie to themselves and to you.

Had a Hawaiian pizza today, ordered under my alias of “Bill” aka Billy Lee or Player 1 in Double Dragon, the first ever arcade (and video) game I ever played. The more you know eh?

Empornio Salami

Also this reminded me to check whether this forum still existed, and thankfully it does. https://commandofans85.proboards.com/thread/586/bennetts-boat-escape If any of you enjoy 80s action movies as I do, and enjoy using the references and one liners from the greatest genre of movies ever made, then a quick browse of this forum and any threads associated with any movie you are familiar with may provide you with a few laughs as the comedy within only becomes greater with the passing of time.

@Manute Bol was here, he would be laughing at this comment too

I hope that a witness said “Let off some steam, Bennett” or they missed a golden opportunity to bypass the trauma that will possibly lie dormant in their psyche for many years. If @Manute Bol was here, he would be laughing at this comment too.

Nothing wrong with a fanny pack, but whoever came up with “brocolli tops” to describe what I have known as the “Tik Toker haircut” deserves a gold chain with a diamond encrusted DAO pendant for sure. With this said, the 3 fanny packs I have had have all mysteriously vanished since I returned from travelling to various destinations around the globe.

Did you buy a stick of if at least?

If kids of today only knew jJaja. Oontz has been poppin off the past few days as even though I have had a heap of free time, I have been struggling to keep up with all the new posts being made here, even if it is mostly by the core people here, it’s great to see such activity. Now carry on.

Also whatever happened to @shaolinmasta? Anyone still keep in touch with him?

Bloodsport for the millionth time. It never gets old.

My usernames I can guess or remember from that time showed no results. A shame because I remember us teaching ourselves HTML back in 96 as we all made websites on Geocities during pur free sessions in highschool using the reliable and comparatively fast school’s bandwidth to make tribute pages to our favorite musicians and Playboy Centrefolds

It was the hat featured in the thumbnail to this masterpiece of my twisted mind.