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Hi Police Officer

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by KING BLING, Mar 24, 2006.


    KING BLING Guest

    So I just got done jumping around my apartment on one foot, pounding the walls and going out on my deck and screaming "they're trying to catch me riding dirty"...

    Tonight was the first night its been nice for a while where I live so I had my screen door open. I live in an Apartment complex. I didn't think anything of it and when I came home from the bar, and I put on some music on my COMPUTER speakers. The caps are my way of say "what the fuck"? Explained: I just had a cop at my door within 10 minutes of coming home - for my computer speakers. More so a week ago someone left a crab on my front step which I felt was awesome for a random thing , but fuck you anyway. Aparently my neighbors hate me. So its war now, and I'm smarter than they are.

    My down stairs neighbors are Indian and make their kid sleep in the living room because they're cheap ass retard Indians (call me on this, we can talk) and play weird Baliwood movies on blast with a big screen and surround system early on weekend mornings. I take my big speakers and system and face them down, put in some NAS on full Bass and compensate, but really I just to want sleep and not humiliate my neighbors - but fuck them and the curry that fills my apartment.

    My other neighbors are fat lonlely girls, have a dog that is well trained, but I hear it whine every morning for a few minutes when big mommy leaves. I punch the wall and after that play the radio LOUD when I shave. My other neighbors are ugly fat girls too...It hurts but I love the burbs

    *In the course of this post the apartment security guard showed up. His name is Kevin.

    So, Here is what I did - give advise if you want, but fuck these "what would you do" things people post:

    1) I just pissed all over the inside of the gym
    2) I just pissed on the front door of the lobby - where new renters and tenants go to speak with the office
    3) Apparently the Crips live here because they have tags all over the place
    4) There is this guy who has his music on blast cruising around the apartments
    5) They keep hearing "trying to catch me riding dirty" from some random white person
    6) Tommorow all of my neighbors get the cops called on them...watch the next point of revenge....
    7) I won't blow my spot, but if they like having phones, cable, internet, or anything besides electricity...well, I'm a simple man but I'm also passionate...

    This is my "fuck your advise, seek me when you need revenge thread" - add to the list, because I'm riding dirty...in fact, I'm going to mess with the hot tub right now...
  2. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Hahaha. awesome. I hated living in appartments. There were some cool little kids at my spot while i was chillin at the pool.. They started jumping their bikes into the pool and i thought this was awesome beyond belief. Along comes some faggy maintenance guy. He yells at the kids and scares them. So i walk over to him and scare him then tell the kids to continue as they were doing. Our rent jumped really high when it was time to renew.

    KING BLING Guest

    ^^^^ I'm so irrational I just did a Mr.Yuck tag on the side of one of my buildings. I doubt I'll take a picture but I figured you should know...
  4. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    hahahahahhaha. staying up til 6 am has finally paid off.
  5. spectr

    spectr Guest

    dude just send them all kiddie porn on cd's in the mail then tip the cops off

    KING BLING Guest

    I declare war on my whole apaprtment complex - someone just did Crips tags on mosyt of the mail boxes. I think Kevin might be pissed...
  7. lord_casek

    lord_casek 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jan 24, 2006 Messages: 27,129 Likes Received: 1,055
    fucking genius. i commend you and your genius ways.

    dmso and L on doorknobs. then call the cops after everyone ahs been home for about an hour.

    an interesting turn on events would be the ole' flaming bag of poo...you're in an apt building, so this is out of the question....just put a new twist on it. instead of lighting the bag, light the building on fire. maybe throw dog shit on the people trying to escape.

    KING BLING Guest

    I will have everyone cut off from the internet - mark my words. I'll tell you when it happens...
  9. Capitan Cronch

    Capitan Cronch Junior Member

    Joined: Mar 21, 2006 Messages: 126 Likes Received: 0
    Did you check out my Indian Food thread?
  10. Politics&Bullshit

    Politics&Bullshit Junior Member

    Joined: Oct 14, 2005 Messages: 221 Likes Received: 0
    You sir, are a genius.... :idea:
  11. YourSistersAssCookie

    YourSistersAssCookie Banned

    Joined: Oct 9, 2005 Messages: 924 Likes Received: 0
    I had a similar issue a few years ago.
    a few things I did to ensure my "Resident asshole" status was.
    1. scratched the names of people off the directories name randomly around the complex.
    for example.
    in the elevator " John Smith (apt #) 3210 was here)
    Jane Doe (4521) luvs John Smith 3210
    sometimes I left the apt # off
    2. found the utility room and randomly unplugged or cut cable and phone lines occasionally in the middle of the night just switched all the connections around.
    do tis on friday because have fun getting the utility guys out there on a weekend.
    3. Pissing in random places works well.
    4. superglue peoples locks.
    5.call and get cars towed.
    theres plenty more If you got questions
    I got answers
  12. trackstand

    trackstand Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 21, 2004 Messages: 2,262 Likes Received: 3
    Yes, all classics. I hated my neighbors once too. But they're gone.
  13. Ha ha, this is great!! I hate living in apartments too. Once this guy bought this big ass truck and then went and parked it like he was the king taking up three spots and then put the truck bed down. This ass always wanted to do this in front of my house and we have limited parking around here. One time this asshole even blocked me in and made me late for work trying to get his ass to move his truck. Everyone in the complex hated this asshole and I guess I started a trend when one day I got sick of his shit and stole his truck bed gate and threw that bitch in the lake down the road. Other people broke his windows and wrote something with a key in his paint. Popped this asses tires twice and he still didn't learn. Well he got in an accident later and now he drives a beat of Honda. That will learn 'em.
  14. 1/4FareMetrocard

    1/4FareMetrocard 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Feb 6, 2006 Messages: 12,962 Likes Received: 690
    drop two brandnew open bottles of shampoo in the hot tubb
  15. FuzZy

    FuzZy Elite Member

    Joined: Nov 23, 2005 Messages: 4,774 Likes Received: 30
    not that would be funny

    fuck apt.s and neighbors
    my gf's neighbors woke me up this morning at 5:45 yelling at eachother
    I don't know about yall but I think I have better things to do at 5:45 in the morning like SLEEPING

    PAYBACK IS A BITCH......keep up the good work