MaxRoach Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ sometimes funny, sometimes not. but it's how i waste my time at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 not bad. best is when you recognize people on it. i haven't but some of my friends have. EDIT: gem (712): I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Dumielle Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 AWESOME!!!!! : (253): she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Dumielle Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Also this: (902): I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a/s/l? Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Epic win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShortFuse Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 ahhahaha this reminds me of that site a long time ago where they have the IM readers for blind people...so funny. :edit: wtf Blind Jew edited. I just posted....Im lost now wtf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crave Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 It's a pretty funny site, great time killer. The wife really enjoys it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a/s/l? Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a/s/l? Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 " (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. " "(910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars (910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT '' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a/s/l? Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 " (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. " i could go on for days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DopeInMySpleen Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 :lol: (513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoes Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 reminds me of Grouphugs.us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M. LANSKY Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.' Replies (35) Good Night (264) Bad Night (3440) More from 703 (614): She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward? Replies (30) Good Night (319) Bad Night (3321) More from 614 (407): I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!" Replies (48) Good Night (493) Bad Night (2863) More from 407 (310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat. Replies (20) Good Night (640) Bad Night (2552) More from 310 (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? Replies (73) Good Night (1502) Bad Night (2099) More from 901 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zebradrips Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? Replies (73) Good Night (1502) Bad Night (2099) More from 901 sounds like a party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silent_bob Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (909): yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 epic site (225): I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away. (504): Who won? (225): All of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxRoach Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 (912): i woke up with socks on this morning (485): so? (912): i didnt wear socks last night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 :lol: (727): He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD1 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Dumielle Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Just read this one, and it kinda sums up my life.. : (314): Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (785): I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 50million Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 old news is great. my life is average is better imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms.seyer Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (734): just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies" (423) 2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (310): tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a/s/l? Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 lol (202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (254): I am coming home for anal (254): * a nap* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_spenty Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (808): no, he came in my armpit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms.seyer Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 (586): The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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