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TreSixO

Fat guy :: Fall back (AKA did I just get chumped by a fat slob?!?)

I SHOULD HAVE?!?  

8 members have voted

  1. 1. I SHOULD HAVE?!?

    • KEPT IT ON TRILL - MODE SON AND SPILLED BLUBBER ON SOME ICE CUBES
      2
    • KEPT COOL, SACHED OUT THE DOOR WITH A FRAPPUCCINO AND A LESBIAJN OR A THESPIAN
      0
    • smashed MAMA because even old italian chicks need love
      3
    • banned myself from teh interwebsz
      0
    • hoogie bands?
      3


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:: this post is issued with a warning... If you are opposed to long drunken rambling posts (and I am really chopped and screwed right npow), dont read this and save me your douche von baggenstein comentairy about how I wasted a whole 5 minutes of your life you would have spent beating off to your amateur pluss sized cousin in Jersey in a couple hours while Conan is on"::

 

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If you like crunk commentary on American society , then stick with it, you will probably bust out laughing reading this shit at least ONE TIME... other negprop me or whatever you net-goons do nbowadays to diss people

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If you ARE A FAT FUCK LEARN TO LEAVE AN APPROPRIATED PROPORTION OF FOOD TO BODY WEIGHT IN A LAST CASE SELF SERVE SCENARIO SUCH AS THIS. You can be fat, thats not so bad on a relative scale of things, b ut GODAMN DONT BE A STEREOTYPICAL FAT MOTHEFUCKER THAT MAKES YOUR LWHOLE RACE OF FATTIES LOOK BAD!!@!!!

 

 

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Im sorry I wrote so much, but this really pissed me off, and Im really drunk - its liek fat dudes represent the ruling class and I represent a dude TRYING TO GET MORE THAN ONE CUP OF SHIT THIS SWEATy FUCK

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ok so I go to the Italian Market (yeah thats what its called) to get a sub and they have an awesome antipasta bar that is reasonably cheap for what they offer. For thirty bucks I can get a pound or two of assorted awesome shit like fava beans, artechoke salad, fancy ass olives, and my personal favorite, this mix of plum tomatos, rresh motsarella balls, olive oil, some basil, whatever... the shit is great.

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So I called my footlong sandwich of greatness and got there about an hour before they closed. There was some big fat dude in one of those dumbass fat guy blazers that is that shredded wheat looking black and grey weave - one of you profesionals knows whatit is and can [pplay madlibs on it later - and hes pulling some hardcore D on the plum tomatos because hes fucking fat and wants all those cheese balls. Also there were only a couple of the small "cup" sized bowls, none of the large gallon bowls or however they do it - they actually weigh it so ... whatever

 

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So this sweaty fat fuck has like 4 of the cups lined up on top filling it franticly with all the good shit, so I pull up opposite from him on the other side and grab the remaining 2 cups and fill one with some of this red pepper salad shit they have whiuch is alright... he starts looking at me all weird, like I think this dude is rtrying to either check me out because hes gay or he use to be my y juvinile probation officer, some weird shit, and he gathers hissloppy ass 4 cups and goes up to the counter... theres es already some other fat fuck in front of him, and I thought they were together untill I realized they would probably need some sort of bulldozer t get them from resteraunt to resteraunt. But as im filling my one of two measily ass bowls up with his prescious cheese he keeps glancing back at me, looking around a support beam to see what im doing... and of course Im gonna get hot, this dudes obviously not a cop because hes peering around corners like 4 crackheads stuck in the same body looking for a wake up.

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So I go up to the second counter, which is closed, and ask the guy whose dealing with the other fatass for some more cups. Keep in mind I go here about 3 times a month for the past 5 months, and I dont know this guy... and he tells some dude in the back that theres no cups...

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Dude in the back goes to the oitherside of the resteraunt, then probably out the back door by the dumpster to bang an oxy because its in the middle of the nations and their maIN exports include trans-am,s on blocks and medicare fraud. The first fatass leaves, really slow... sorda slides on out the door, and th dude all lookin at me moves up...

 

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Now at this point Im pretty hot, A because he hogged all the good shit, and were down south... If it was up north it would be tough shit and the fat guy would laugh at me and call me a asshole - thats ok, but in the south you would at least save one other person a third of what you got in a self serve situation where nop replacements are coming out... also this isnt the 10$ chineese buffet, this is a reasonably respectable joint in a shitty part of town, its a small Italian market, the people joke with each other, its a nice atmosphere

 

and B Im hot because he was all lookn at me, I thought this dude was som faT perv, and if it was mcdoinalds I would hgave doine and said some shit, but I take my moms here and shit, so I try and be resopectful for the fam that runs the place

 

after all dude is mad fat and spends probably 10x in food in what I spend on "intoxicabts", so thats money for them and I dont wanna scare this dude off, , but then this dude I never seen before behind the counter makes some remark about how much of the tomatos and cheese hes getting, and this fat rude asshol,e says something like

"oh i wanted to get more, but you are out of bowls".. and this fat guy KNOWS I wanted to get more than one little ass cup I had BECAUSE I LOUDLY ASKED FOR MORE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.... Except Mama who was in the back. So this new guy, who im sure looks at me like some bum because bc have some busted ass shirt bc Im over due on laundry and am working on the bottom reserves of stolen t's, andths guy has a fat guy blazer.. so he gives this dude one of those foil tins that italian markets use for pasta and shit!!!

 

 

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And this dude totally rapes the tomatos and cheese... like a fiend searching in a yard for a dropped nic\k, he scoops all the shit up!!!

 

I GOT ONE FUCKING CUP AND THIS DUDE SERIOUSLY TOOK LIKE A POUND AND A HALF OF SHIT HE KNEW I WANTED BECAUSE I WAS REALLY LOUD AND OBVIOUS AND THEN ACTED LIKE A SMOKER OVER SOME GODDAMN CHEEESE AND TOMATOS!!! By this time mama came out and had got me some more OF THE RIGHT CUPS, (and put more out even tho they closed probably in an hour or 2) but the shit was gone.... except for thed littlest bit

 

 

So the only thing keeping me from seriously gong off is the nice lady who is part owner who didnt know this dude was doing me wring...and he leaves as shes ringing e up... this other guy behind the counter is like "wow, between you and you and him the fresh bar looks empty..."

 

And im like "well. I didnt have shit to do with that, that was all him"... he doesnt say shit and I beeline for the exit without leaving a tip or anything to catch this fat guy to at least clown him in the parkinmg lot.. but hes gone in 60 secondsl on some nicholas cage shit... and I got one goddamn cup and he got at least five times thaqt much and acted like a freak about it...

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so... now that my drunk rambling is done, what WOULD YOU DO?!?

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Should I have said fuck Mama and her fam and kept it so trill and took the serving spoon , and scooped the fat out his titties, splatting it all over this newjack fool behind the counter? Because the fat boy disrespected me, like in public and junk, and I gotsta hndle my bia bia?!? Kiko, thunn, and whatnot...

 

 

Should I have ordered a boittle and a half of red wine and shrunk my pants up a frew sizes while I discussed felini and archetecture with jabba the mutt while re-lacing my chuck gaylors??

 

 

Should I have smashed mama because the behive doo is so so krispy and she hooked the bowls up respectfully?

 

Should I post a drunk blog about it on 12Oz and go back 3 days later, talk to mama, and conn her into giving me a 25$ gift certificate because Im so cool... or at least one opf the EPIC subs...

 

 

 

seriously, they are the best sandwich to hit this town, they are from Chicago or some shit, I CANT piss them off... BUT GODDAMN IU GOT JOOKED BY A FAT FAUCK!!!

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i voted boogie hands cause i dont know what the other options mean... plus i didnt read your story cause i dont care about you

 

have a nice day

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I just needed aan excuse to post a bunch of flicks, but you should have made dude feel like shit, cause keeping shit just makes us have to read 2 threads with the same topic.

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T;6212924']30xa3ao.jpg

 

HAHAHAHHA

 

FUCKING CLASSIC. PROPS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel hipster borderline in saying this but I would rock the fuck outta this on a solid tee.

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i aint scurrd

to say id be the 3rd

 

 

 

 

but when i switch int hipster mode i end up spilling all sorts of shit all over fancy clothes

 

you cant give me nuthin nice

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so maybe tre six is'nt so bad after all,

come see me when you get 6 tic tacs, kid

I might have a job for you.

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