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This used to be my blog. *NH

Tyler Durden

By Tyler Durden
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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

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Like every other asshole with opinions, I decided that the world-at-large needs to be subjected to my asinine feelings on anything and everything that I'd like to build on. The "world-at-large" in this case is http://www.12ozprophet.com/forum, but that's fine. Nothing else matters besides this site, limited edition books/shoelaces, and "propping" each other, right? right.

 

Lets start this off with my feelings on SnorgTees.com.

 

For those of you who have no idea what Snorg Tees is, go sign into your Myspace.

"I don't even have one"/"I deleted that shit, I'm so above 'social networking'"/"I only have a super secret profile... I use it to lurk people" (read also: girls).

Whatever. I don't give a fuck if you have a Myspace or not, though the lattermost quotation is probably the most honest one I listed. Who cares. Not you. Cavalier attitudes are what's really good.

Anyway, having a Myspace is neither here nor there.... Snorg Tees is what we're talking about.

So sign into the Myspace you don't even have, and you'll probably see an ad somewhere for ST.

Maybe you don't. Maybe you're very lucky.

Personally, I'm usually visually accosted by the ad with some retarded looking girl.... like... straight up, she looks like she had to have ridden the short-bus.

 

Here's a picture of her, though it doesn't convey her... uh... unique features.

 

ILoveLamp_2.jpg

 

I'll be the first to say it... TRASH.

 

Moving along, let's talk about their "designs".

T-shirt companies are a dime a fucking dozen.

Every douche-tiger pile of shit thinks they can start one of these things, they get "off the ground" with a couple designs they pumped out between classes/doing blow at Pratt. They make the obligatory companion Myspace profile. They are a T-shirt dynamo.

 

However, Snorg Tees decided to turn the entire Myspace-based-"grassroots"-Tshirt industry on it's ear. How did they accomplish this?

 

They based 90% of their designs upon lines from two Will Ferrel movies.

And a sensation was born.

These movies may have been funny their first and second times around, but come the end of 2004, you were probably tired of hearing these lines, and if you weren't.... it's probably because you're a complete fucking idiot who likes shiny metal things and bright lights and drooling on yourself. Durrr.

 

Lets look at some examples:

 

ShakeAndBake_Fullpic_1.gif

 

You're right, you being a fucking asshole did just happen.

 

BigDeal_Fullpic_3.jpg

 

Yeah bro! FUCKING BEER. LAX. SICKKKKK.

 

ILoveLamp_Fullpic_8.jpg

 

Joey Lawrence?

 

 

 

 

 

 

From perusing their catalogue, I think that we can safely assume that their target demographic is anyone who is either a fucking moron, a coral reef necklace/hemp necklace wearing LAX frat-boy, or some combination of the two.

 

I could go on, but I just remembered that most the people who look at this forum have the attention span of a epileptic badger. So I'll leave you all with this:

 

McLovin_Headshot_1.jpg

 

Smash, right?

 

Well, she's "rocking" a Snorg Tee.... automatic "strike one".

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

Oh, lets talk about this for a second.... because it just came up on my iTunes playlist.

iTunes sucks though, right? Blow me. Yeah, I'm one of those assholes who prefers Apple products. Fuck off

 

Anyway. Here. Watch the video on Youtube.

 

 

Hall and Oates: Private Eyes is quite possibly the creepiest fucking song ever.

Actually, pause, Mogwais "Take Me Somewhere Nice", is exponentially creepier, albeit in an entirely difference sense.

 

But lets just look at these lyrics:

 

I see you, you see me

Watch you blowin the lines when youre making a scene

Oh girl, youve got to know

What my head overlooks

The senses will show to my heart

When its watching for lies

You cant escape my

Private eyes

Theyre watching you

They see your every move

Private eyes

Theyre watching you

Private eyes

Theyre watching you watching you watching you watching you

 

You play with words you play with love

You can twist it around baby that aint enough

Cause girl Im gonna know

If youre letting me in or letting me go

Dont lie when youre hurting inside

cause you cant escape my

Private eyes

Theyre watching you

They see your every move

Private eyes

Theyre watching you

Private eyes

Theyre watching you watching you watching you watching you

 

Why you try to put up a front for me

Im a spy but on your side you see

Slip on, into any disguise

Ill still know you

Look into my private eyes

 

I feel disgusting just listening to this.

Come to think of it though, my boy gave me a mix CD with this as the first song, and every other song on there has many, many, many homo-erotic undertones. I'm actually feeling pretty scared.

He's on here too, hopefully he doesn't see this.

If he does though....

Dude, is there something you need to...uh.... tell me?

NH, on my part at least...

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

so basically youve copied the format of EVERY other hipster/pseudo hipster self hate blog and decided to share with us?

 

thats really swell.

 

It's better because it's on here. Woo.

 

 

 

 

 

The rest of you, this is my way of doing everyone on here a public service.

Cry about it.

normal_wahmbulance.jpg

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R@ndomH3ro

R@ndomH3ro

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

Every blog does that.

And actually, I do this at the office.

When you're no longer 17, maybe you'll get a job too.

 

 

 

haha, 17 nice.

 

yeah buddy i am 30, i am on vacation right now. good luck chilling in the back of urban outfitters or whatever hipster mall clothing store you work at

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R@ndomH3ro

R@ndomH3ro

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

HAHAHAHAHA. WOW.

 

And Gliks, I know you have better taste than MW, old friend. Pause....

 

 

hahaha wow? You mad that I get two weeks of paid vacation and you are stuck restocking girl pants for emo kids so you are going to write a blog about it?

 

 

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Mercer

Mercer

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

I'll give A useful critique, Here is what could be improved.

 

The girl you say trash, need a better pic of her and her assets, I have low standards and would smash, plus don't dis your friends.

 

The shirts, get your own unique ideas, I have a hatred for all this celebrity or pop culture inspired hipster "art".

 

The girl you say smash, we need better pics of her as well, the more skin the better, she looks good.

 

Just to make it better for 12oz, don't use the word fucking and rant so much, we have enough here by people who do it better.

 

Last but not least, Don't have art school students modeling for you in homoerotic poses, hire some bums or smashable females.

 

I hope this was helpfull.;)

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

Uh.

I may rant, but at least I'll make sense at least 50% of the time.

Your post.... appears to go in about 10 different directions.

I appreciate your attempt at being "helpful", but maybe you should learn to delineate what sort of point you're trying to make before opening your out-of-towner face.

Thanks though.

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

I figured it probably would.

 

Oh, and I just saw this:

 

fyi no one cares what you think... faggot..

 

Really? Aren't you the dude who posted his "scribbles" in the "cmeup" thread, or whatever it is?

Well if that isn't just the pot calling the kettle black.

fyi: your "scribbles" are still toy garbage.

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Guest shai_hulud

Guest shai_hulud

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

1. I have a Myspace. I never check it or update it, because a couple of girls are using it to stalk me. No shit.

 

2. I own three t-shirts. One is plain red, one advertises a hydroponics company, and the third one says "Good Morning VIET NAM" and has a Vietnamese flag on it. NONE of my t-shirts were made by hipsters.

 

I would like to commiserate with you right now, but there are FAR more pressing issues out there.

 

T-shirts with witty catchphrases of the zeitgeist of 2004 and social networking websites just don't seem important enough to think about longer than it takes for me to finish typing this.

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Tyler Durden

Tyler Durden

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

1. I have a Myspace. I never check it or update it, because a couple of girls are using it to stalk me. No shit.

 

2. I own three t-shirts. One is plain red, one advertises a hydroponics company, and the third one says "Good Morning VIET NAM" and has a Vietnamese flag on it. NONE of my t-shirts were made by hipsters.

 

I would like to commiserate with you right now, but there are FAR more pressing issues out there.

 

T-shirts with witty catchphrases of the zeitgeist of 2004 and social networking websites just don't seem important enough to think about longer than it takes for me to finish typing this.

 

 

I hope that it's a Graffix tshirt. I don't know why I remember that logo from what I feel like is a long time ago.

 

GraffixJokerOff.jpg

 

I'll get to all of the pressing issues of todays world in due time. Don't fret.

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Guest shai_hulud

Guest shai_hulud

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

No, it's for a local hydroponics company.

 

That t-shirt looks like something a juggalo would want to be buried with.

 

THERE'S a topic we'd never tire of!

 

"1001 uses for a dead juggalo".

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dirtydoses

dirtydoses

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Re: This is my blog. *NH

 

if you want a blog, make a fucking blog.

 

 

and i read that you called people a "toy" 2 times in here.

that basically reveals who you are.

so i can see why you would make your "blog" in here, nobody would read it otherwise.

 

 

but actually, keep this shit going, i wanna watch this blow up.

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