against my better judgement

[blood fart]

if i saw blood fart wlking done the street i would lure her into my car with some herion then beat the shit out of her in the mcdonalds carpark. 'wheres pegleg now bitch?!'

 

You wouldn't know me if you saw me in the streets.

 

And besides that, you wouldn't do what you claim you would do.

Talk big, dude.

 

Really.

I would jook you in the neck.

Stab and twist.

 

How the shit are you going to "lure me into a car with some heroin"?

I don't do heroin, assface.

 

 

You would get your skull smashed in with a brick, at the very least.

Real Talk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes.

I am writing a book.

Or so I have been saying for some time now.

Really, all I do is write on the internet and hopefully one day I will compile it all and get it published.

 

 

Man.

Last night.

I did something I should regret.

And something that makes me a horrible friend.

More later on the subject.

 

 

 

Side notes on the story I posted..

Scott, the previous owner of the dog who's loss made me a suicidal failure...he was my adopted brother.

He overdosed on methadone about a month before I got out of prison.

 

The dude who cheated on me with my best friend..he was my husband.

He is in prison now in California.

For doing bad things to good people.

 

PegLeg is still a heroin addict.

And still lives on the street.

And still is in love with me and thinks we will reunite one day.

He is mistaken.

I still talk to him on occassion.

 

The dude I left him for is in prison in California, as well.

I don't talk to him ever.

[Ape Shit]

solution to drug problem:

 

stay away from metal/deathmetal/blackmetal, punkrock, stud-belts, and moshpits

 

but what happens when you stay away from all that?

you get wiggers. and that's not good for anyone.

[blood fart]

or just stay away from all your "friends" that still fuck with it.

 

This is what I did for the first year.

Until I got strong enough to be able to say "no".

 

I still have friends that use.

I see them on occasion.

Sometimes I try to lecture them about quitting, but mainly, I ignore it.

I know that nobody can make somebody else quit doing something they want to do.

All I can do is let them know that I care.

And will be there to help if they ever want to change their life.

 

 

 

 

And thanks for all the kind words, dudes.

Really.

I appreciate it.

I write for myself.

It helps me remember who I was and lets me see how far I have come.

But it makes me feel nice to know that others enjoy my words.

Thanks.

[duourhs]

And besides that, you wouldn't do what you claim you would do.

 

probably not, rape victim junkies barely make my dick twitch.

[blood fart]

So you would beat me up to be sexy?

I don't get it.

 

You talk yourself into a shallow grave.

[duourhs]

not really, i just wanted to point out that you are a junkie rape victim and i am better at life.

[Guest shai_hulud]

probably not, rape victim junkies barely make my dick twitch.

 

But, this one would put you in a body cast.

 

You can talk tough all you want, but I actually believe BF because I know where she lived at one point. It was scary. Very bad people lived there. People you don't see in the suburbs.

 

Let's put it this way...it's not as nice as your parent's house, dude.

 

Nothing gets settled here except you look like a choadsmoker for making fun of someone trying to tell a difficult story, and she says, "That's cool, homie...I don't see you repping shit. Come down and see me and find out how tough you are."

 

And, nothing happens. Because this is the internet.

[Mensa]

wow, neg-rep to you, duourhs

[john brown]

not really, i just wanted to point out that you are a junkie rape victim and i am better at life.

 

dude your a fucking fag.. is this how you usaully talk to girls? show some respect son.

[blood fart]

not really, i just wanted to point out that you are a junkie rape victim and i am better at life.

 

I doubt you are better at anything than I am.

I am totally awesome, dude.

With or without the internet and my fame.

 

Does it hurt my feelings that you call me a junkie rape victim?

Not in the least.

Am I a junkie?

No.

Am I a rape victim?

Many times over.

Does it mean a damn thing?

Not at all.

 

If it was something that I could get upset about, I wouldn't share it with everyone on here.

Obviously, it is nothing that stirs my emotions.

 

You are probably just mad because you are the product of rape and your mother never loved you.

It's alright dude.

Maybe someday, somebody will be able love you.

They will probably be a complete piece of shit.

But it will be a match made in perfection.

 

 

 

One thing you are better at than I am?

Negative props until you get banned.

Bet.

[Mensa]

since when do i have to "spread props around" before i give em to BF again?

 

wack

[Mensa]

haha, he's in the red already. that took all of 30 seconds

[duourhs]

lol zing nerd life 08

 

hes in the red!!! omg lolipopz rofflcopters all round!

[Guest shai_hulud]

Yep. Better get used to it.

[Spitfire15]

I think you should go out on a quest and find monster truck guy.

[Mensa]

@ duourhs: Good job, you won teh interwebz.

 

 

[Guest shai_hulud]

Is it me, or did Christmas come early this year?

 

We don't usually see this many dipshits on 12 oz. till just after New Year's.

[duourhs]

blame it on global warming and soulja boy.

[blood fart]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mL-mjuwl93g

 

When I was with one-legged Kris for those three or so years, I spent endless hours sitting on the side of the road.

While he flew signs for dope money.

I would sit in the shade in the summer.

Try not to sweat too much.

Eat ice cream cones.

Take naps in the grass.

In the winter, I would sit closer in.

Bundled up.

Looking sad and sick.

Because I was sad and sick.

 

He bought me some super fancy studio headphones.

$150 headphones.

That one of our friends had stolen from Tower Records.

And sold to us for probably $75.

They were my prized possession.

After all my other prized possessions had been stolen from me.

None of which could be replaced.

Dead friends' possessions I kept with me.

To remind myself.

Not to die.

 

My family bought me a pretty fancy cd/mp3 player.

For some holiday in which I received gifts.

No matter how much we needed money, it was never even an option to trade or sell my fancies.

 

I can remember sitting in the gravel on the side of the road.

Where 183 meets I35.

Under the bridge.

Listening to this song.

And thinking how nice it must be.

To love somebody that much that you are so broken up over losing them that you write a song about it.

To have so much emotion.

And make something beautiful out of the pain.

 

I would listen to this song over and over again.

Envying other people's lives.

Those in the cars passing by.

Those in the restaurants around us.

Sleeping in a comfortable bed in the motels on the corners.

Knowing that as soon as peoples' generosity filled Kris' pockets with $80, we would be off.

To spend it.

And then it would start all over.

 

Back to the side of the road.

Maybe the same road.

Maybe a different one.

Maybe this time I would take off my headphones and talk to him.

Or maybe I would keep them on and pretend like things were different.

And my life wasn't actually happening as it was.

 

At the end of the day, we would have gone through hundreds of dollars.

Maybe $300.

Sometimes more.

 

 

At the end of the day, we would be sleeping outside.

On a porch.

On pieces of cardboard I had gotten from a dumpster.

 

Kris traded my headphones and cd/mp3 player for crack cocaine.

While in a Motel 6 room on Rundberg.

He attempted to trade my BMX.

Luckily, a crack whore saw him and came and told me.

I chased him down the block with an empty 40 bottle.

Not too fast.

I didn't actually want to have to bust his head.

Just let him know that I was thinking about it.

 

He had done some pretty horrible things to me in the past.

Things people told me were unforgivable.

I forgave.

In time.

Even if it took months.

And I had to go to the other side of the country to get away from him.

He would follow.

I would give in.

Accept his apologies.

 

I didn't take him back after he traded my stuff for crack.

More than anything else, he took away the ability for me to escape my reality.

Unforgivable.

[blood fart]

Was some of this posted before? I swear I've read some of this on here a long time ago.

 

Regardless, it was an interesting read. Hopefully there will be more in the future.

 

Not this exact writing.

But I could have mentioned something about some of it.

It's my life.

I tend to talk about the same happenings from time to time.

 

I know there are certain things I have mentioned on more than one occasion.

Bad habits.

I have a few of them.

 

 

I think I might start posting more tales of the past me.

I appreciate the feedback.

[seeking]

One thing you are better at than I am?

Negative props until you get banned.

Bet.

 

you know you just had to say the word.

 

BFFN.

 

hate us cause they aint us.

[seeking]

we need to talk more about your potential publishers on this.

i have some ideas.

[Spitfire15]

I think you should go out on a quest and find monster truck guy.

 

*cough*

[Guest shai_hulud]

blame it on global warming and soulja boy.

 

I was talking about YOU, Flock Of Seagulls.

[blood fart]

seeking- meet me out back and we can talk.

 

My friend in your city, you know the one, she is coming here to pick up her belongings and take them back to your city.

I am going to try to hitch a ride with her.

So we can do the things we talk about doing.

Being better than everyone else.

And all of that.

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3luJ3qzVy5E

This shit is brutal and/or crucial.

 

Spitfire15- I wouldn't even know where to begin if I wanted to find that dude.

But I don't want to find him.

Nothing against him, he is nice and all.

Just not for me.

We had little-to-nothing in common.

It was just something that happened and I don't even know how.

[blood fart]

BFFN.

:love4:

[seeking]

yeah.

your friend hit me up on myspace.

no offense but she seemed like roughly the absolute last person i need in my life.

you however. you always welcome.

[blood fart]

She is nothing but trouble.

Not in the good way.

 

I am nothing but trouble in all the right ways.

Hopefully she will make my dreams come true.

And send me to VacationVille.

[ClueTwo]

Wow..First time I read all that.

 

I knew you were demented, but whoa..

 

This adds a whole new level of "what the fuck is going on with this girl?" to your game..

[blood fart]

Roger Troutman and I have many similarities.

 

 

 

Some may say I have had a hard life.

They could be right.

Who's to say.

I regret nothing.

Everything that has happened has made me into the person I am today.

And I love who I am today.

 

Many mistakes I have made.

And many mistakes have made me.