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SpyD

Movie Cliches, or "We're Taking Over the Investigation"

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I was going through some old stuff I had written to someone and came across this, thought I'd share

I was watching Die Hard the other day, and theres a part where these two dudes in suits walk up to the cops and are like "I'm agent Johnson, this is agent Johnson. FBI. We're taking over the investigation. "

haha.

 

how come the FBI ALWAYS takes over the investigation?

 

how come in horror movies the black dude always gets killed? and the white girl is gonna fall, and whenever you hop in the car and think it's sweet and you gonna get away.... nope! killer's in the back seat ready to chop your ass up!

 

How come white people (in movies) are so nosy? if they hear some scary noise, they always gotta "go check it out dude". stupid....

 

whenever the bad guy catches the hero, instead of just shooting him, he's gotta tie him up over a pit of radioactive sharks or something and tell him the whole plan, which gives him just enough time to escape/and or kill said bad guy.

 

How come there's like 100 bad dudes with ak-47s and rocket launchers and they can never hit one hero with only a pistol. The bullets will be bouncing off of everything around him, but he always manages to get away clean. I think evil warlords should invest in some time at the shooting range for their minions, ya mean?

 

how come in movies people get knocked unconscious so easy? I've seen mugs get kicked in the leg and somehow they're knocked out?!?! please....

 

whenever the police are in that room waiting for the fugitive to call as soon as he calls they always whisper "keep him talking!" and then try to trace the call, but the fugitive will hang up one second before they get a lock on the location.

 

whenever someone is getting chased by the police/mobsters, they run into the subway, which is ALWAYS packed. And they take their jacket off or something and run through the crowd and just make it onto the train right before the doors close, leaving the police enough time to slam their hand on the window as the train pulls away

 

how come everyone cocks guns like 100 times??

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Why don't people like Jason fuck those little summer camp sluts before they kill them?

 

:lol:

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the answer is simple. if movies were realistic, they wouldn't be interesting. obviously its possible to be TOO unrealistic, but you get the point.

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ummm...so it's unrealistic to expect black people to not talk to the screen?

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"HEY THAT NIGGA JASON IS OFF THE HOOK!"

 

"WHY HE BE KILLIN PEOPLE THO"

 

"ID A SLAP HIM SILLY IF HE CAME AT ME WITH THAT KNIFE"

 

"RUN NIGGA! RUNNNN! DAMN, THESE NIGGAS IS STUPID..."

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believe it or not, black people possess an above average common sense, and it goes against nature for them to suspend disbelief in cases of extreme stupidity (i.e. white girl going into abandoned killer mansion)

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damn it mcgarnigle, you've gone to far this time! thats it,hand in your gun and your badge, you're off the force!

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damn it mcgarnigle, you've gone to far this time! thats it,hand in your gun and your badge, you're off the force!

 

but then for some reason, the terrorists only wanna speak to McGarnigle. "I dont like it, but here's your gun and shield back. Now go kick some terrorist ass!"

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This thread is crazy!

What about when the hero gets shot, and it is in the arm or something, and they always survive? Yet a badguy will get shot in the leg, and proceed to bleed to death??

And why do the heroes always get the girl?? And why is said girl always more attractive than the evil woman??

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white cops have power over colored gangs and gangbangers rat everybody out

 

every political assasination is an inside job... oh wait a minute

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i personally enjoy at the end of every action movie the hero likes to stand alone staring at something off screen while the camera pulls out. like he's contemplating what to do next.

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Why does the hero's weapon not run out of ammo?

Or if they get low on ammo, they always have just 1 shot left!!!

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In Live Free or Die Hard, bruce willis had unlimited ammo. He never once was without a way to shoot bad guys

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In Live Free or Die Hard, bruce willis had unlimited ammo. He never once was without a way to shoot bad guys
Was this any good? I shall download it if so.

 

How come in Asian movies, the laws of physics are temporarily suspended and the characters can fly thru the air with ease??

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Was this any good? I shall download it if so.

 

How come in Asian movies, the laws of physics are temporarily suspended and the characters can fly thru the air with ease??

 

Yeah it was dope.

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how come 3 fat girls ALWAYS sit in front of me/behind me and whisper/laugh loudly for about 10 minutes into the movie until i tell them to stfu (very loudly) and become the savior of all in the theater

 

why is this

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what about cliche movies about minority "at risk youth" from the hood who overcome obstacles and adversity at school, usually with the help of a white mentor who understands "these kids are smart and just need direction"... while the prinicipal and superintendants and other faculty tell the white mentor he/she is wasting their time, because they're juvenille delinquents and thugs and the scum of society. the kids prove them wrong and get accepted to harvard and shit

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