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Gunm

Work is Hell

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I work in an office and besides myself, there's only one other interesting person here. Everyone else is strictly rank and file which suits the rank and file duties that comprise our position as (blank) specialists.

They all seem so bored with life and their boredom rubs off on me so in an effort to promote anti-routinism, I like to do things around the office that upset the languid haze of tedium that hangs around everyones heads.

 

Or in other words, i like fucking with people here.

 

1.) I went into the kitchen this morning, removed a sandwich from someone's bag. Took a single bite out of it and put it back in the sandwich bag. ha ha ha.

 

2.)Saw a bottle of water marked "DO NOT DRINK" ha ha ha, why yes, i will take up that invitation sir. Cracked open bottle, drank about a quarter of it, laughed at the food bits from the sandwich bite that were floating in the bottle....ha ha, put cap back on bottle.

 

3.)Found a condom wrapper in my pocket. Dropped it by the copy machine.

 

4.)Took a big dook in the bathroom that was picture perfect. Left it in the bowl as a testimony of my new and improved healthy diet.

 

5.)Took a stapler off one guys desk (control freak) and put it on the desk across from his. Ha ha

 

 

So, let's see what happens as a result of these actions later!

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Guest imported_Tesseract

LENS/12 YEARS OLD

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The food and water bottle thing is amusing, but the shit in the toilet is just obnoxious. I used to house my co-workers edibles also, but not to be a dick, I was just hungry.

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milton1.jpg

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

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Yeah Shark

 

The better way to rebel includes things like extended lunches, sick day abuse, and extensive long distance calling.

 

And why do you think I'm on 12oz. discussing trivial shit all day?

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haha...dude...the food thing will put them over the top. our drunk/drug addict mail guy was eating people's lunches here. the entire office flipped out. they even changed the door code to the break room.

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Someone did that sandwich shit at my job. One of my co-workers had a burger in the fridge and came back to it with one bite missing. Another co-worker had a bacon cheeseburger and found that someone had taken the bacon off of it.

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yeah man thats fucked up, im all for breaking the routine of everyday boredome but you just dont fuck with the food.

 

all the other ideas are pretty good, maybe condoms filled with lotion left in random places. or better yet straight up real used condoms.

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it would be funny if the water bottle labelled "Do not drink" was actually filled with something you shouldnt drink, instead of water.

watch u drop dead in a few hours :haha:

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Ah ha ha ha ha!

 

UPDATE

 

We just got an office-wide email concerning "abuse of refridgerator priveleges"

My favorite line being "Please be advised the refridgerator is not a free for all or a buffet."

I think i chomped on one of the executive people's sandwiches.

 

No word yet on the whether the stapler switch caused any issues. the condom wrapper was last seen in the trash. The dook got flushed.

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Originally posted by Tesseract@Dec 7 2005, 05:49 PM

LENS/12 YEARS OLD

 

Yeah, something like that. It keeps me from freaking out at work

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those don't really interest me that much.

 

mine.

 

when someone leaves his truck to take a shit, talk to a supervisor or anyone, turn the heater on full blast and roll the windows up. *note i'm in los angeles where we roll with the ac in winter. bwahaha

 

doing driveby's with paintballs to co-workers. i have 7 in my shirt pocket as we speak. so far today 1 victim.

 

tying trash to the exhaust so the truck makes noise when he takes off.

 

spray armor-all on the windows of some neat freak that just detailed his truck.

 

draw unflattering carictures of co-workers and post on bulletin board.

 

water ballons to the crotch.

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