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Guest HESHIANDET

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If that's anywhere between clayton rd/vascoe...fuck that ride. That ride fucking sucks. I did it fixed (47/16) from concord to dublin and nearly died by car, truck, horse trailer, slurpee drink... you name it it was thrown in my direction. From bart to bart i think it was a good 75 miles.

 

Schnooble – (verb) shnoo bel – A schnooble, (schnoobling, or “I schnoobled myselfâ€) occurs when one is pulling up their arm warmers at the top and their grip is lost, resulting in a self inflicted punch to the face area.

 

Mangerschlung – (adjective; from old Dutch) 1. the sound of blowing a snot rocket; 2. describing the residue left from mucus, usually found on gloves, shorts, shoes.

 

Cropdusting – Farting on members of your immediate peloton, then sprinting away.

 

Whisslahp – a thin tendril of drool that escapes during high speed descents.

 

Teuf-Teuf - when you slip off a pedal and jab your taint (perineum) on the tip of your saddle.

 

Schnortette – (noun; orginated in Saskatchewan circa 1900), when one spits (accidentally or not) on following cyclists, also counts towards overages of snot rockets.

 

Dimp – (verb – I dimped) – to skip your pedal on the pavement while turning. Can result in a crash.

 

Flumper – (noun) A road so bumpy it turns ones prostate into a diamond

 

baboon (v) – when you teuf-teuf so hard that your grundle, taint, or labia bruises a bluish-pinkish-purple; thusly, when you strip down to nothing and get on all fours, you may be mistaken for a baboon from behind. Red assed and of poor disposition.

 

Dip Snaz- Cat 5 rider on a $6000+ bike.

 

Booge: verb/noun – When your chamois butter develops a hard, cheese-like clog in the opening and you have to squeeze like hell to get it to come out; then suddenly it does, hitting the palm of your hand with such momentum that it splats all over your face, kit, sweet ironclad base layer, etc.

 

Usage: This morning, I was getting ready to butter up and I booged myself so bad I had a flashback of that time I got drunk with Ron Jeremy.

 

Musettenger Bag : noun – an ultra-small messenger bag, approximately the size of a musette and not capable of carrying more than loose change, a single tampon and 3 single cigarettes. sometimes adorned with fancy

embroidery costing equal the price of the bag itself, almost always worn by someone with a sideways baseball cap in place of his or her helmet.

 

Norker – noun – a gap in the riding surface sufficiently deep to cause immediate, split-second wrecks, even though the rider attempts to account for the hazard. Cracked pavement, railroad or streetcar tracks, and roadside curbs are applicable norkers.

 

The Piston – n – A breakfast consisting of 10 grain oatmeal, dates, a bowl of fruit, and a big mug of Stumptown coffee. Best not to eat this on race day…

 

Gludrodroit – n. – A person who races late season crits for the sole purpose to train for cyclocross.

 

Chamsquatch - n. – A person who, when finished with their race, takes the time to put on a t shirt and regular shoes but opts to stay in the chamois. Borderline retarded. Can be easily manipulated with micro brew or clif blocks.

 

Cycloscat – A cyclocross race conducted on a course laden with animal poop.

 

Slooper – n. sloo-per – Sloopers are the bright, shiny pubes you find still attached to your chamois even though they’ve just gone through a full cycle in the washing machine.

 

Mudiot – n. mud-e-it – A person who reaches a frothy semi-sexually aroused state at the idea of racing a cyclocross event in very muddy conditions. Certain strains of mudiots include beginner racers as well. Prone to falling down and extending their time in the mud.

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Yeah choc you'd be a much better person to hook up with. I really need to come up with a gameplan of how to go from 3 years lame to cat 3/4 in... lets say 8 months. If i can get to that level i can ride with my friends again. Im thinking 300+ mile weeks and squats squats squats.

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Hey rubbish ...any chance you were linking up with those Oakland heads for that Morgan territory ride?

also, I was on redwood rd around 10:30 this morning - may have passed eachother

 

1) Nah, just meeting up with a friend from Oakland to ride some hills. Just googled Morgan Territory though... fuuuuuuck that. 20% grades? No thanks, at least not until cross season is over...

2) You may have seen me then. I was riding solo on a white CAAD9 / argyle kit.

 

Gludrodroit – n. – A person who races late season crits for the sole purpose to train for cyclocross.

 

HFY.

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CAAD9 eh? A guy at boxdog is selling is CAAD8 for $650. Full ultegra with 105 shifters bc his ultegra shifters took a shit. I want it, but i sorta need that money for CX shoes (mavic tempo), pedals (eggbeaters or atacs), and clothing for this 30 degree weather we're having. I also want to replace my ultegra shifters with chorus (just need a shiftmate) so if the shifters break they can be repaired.

 

You should ride that 80 mile course i made up. No 20%er... I think Mt Diablo is like 11%. http://goo.gl/maps/7QnI

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Ah. I did see you... I recall thinking "I bet that dude is freezing" haha

I was headed downhill - 2 of us climbing types (skinny) in red & black kits. White/orange bmc

 

Hahahaha! I was thinking the exact opposite to everyone I saw... "These guys are fucking bundled up!" Basically I'm still acclimated to the Oregon weather and this mid-50's and sunny thing is paradise for me in comparison to the lower 40's and raining back home. I actually think I remember you guys too because you looked like the more serious roadies whereas there was a ton of recreational dudes and a few MTBers on the road.

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werd.

you still around? if so, maybe we can link up for a ride.

 

Around till tomorrow. Just got done with a good ride starting @ Cole Coffee in Oakland, heading up to Tunnel and Skyline, looping Pinehurst, then doing another lap around Skyline back to Pinehurst and then back Redwood into CV...

 

HOWEVER, not sure if I'm riding tomorrow cuz will probably be exploring SF/Berkeley/Oakland. I'll let you know. If not it shouldn't be that long before I'm in the Bay again to ride as I got family out here...

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hey does anyone know how to wrap a good tube around your seatpost and fasten it with a tire lever? saw someone with a setup like that and my seat is too far forward in the clamp to fit my saddlebag, so this would be perfect for me.

i tried it a few times but couldnt get it as neat as he had it

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I think I spoke about this before, but I used to ride a lot of mountain bikes and road as well. I havent really ridden in about 10 years.

 

I have signed up for the bike to work scheme here in the uk and have £700 to spend, now my problem is road bike or mountain bike. As it will be used a lot for getting to work in all weather I am thinking mountain bike (also easier for doing stuff with the family) but I also want to ride a lot and there are some good hills etc around where I live, so that makes me want a road bike.

 

I am limited to what I can get company wise, and will probably go for a Boardman bike mainly because they are quite well specced for the price, however I also know the company can get Cinelli and Tifosi road bike.

 

At the moment I am thinkg Mountain bike to get back into riding and then a road bike out of my own money then can go wider on brands.

 

Anyone into bikes give me their impression of this bike

Features & Benefits of the Boardman Mountain Bike Comp Medium 2010

 

* Lightweight fully double butted aluminium frame has a very high strength to weight ratio for a frame that is rapid on both climbs and descents

* RockShox Recon SL air suspension fork with 100mm travel, adjustable rebound damping and lockout

* SRAM X7/X5 27 speed gearing for reliable shifting performance

* Powerful Avid Juicy 3 hydraulic disc brakes provide reliable braking performance in wet conditions

* Truvativ Firex GXP chainset

* Ritchey Pro rims with sealed bearing hubs for longer bearing life

* Continental Speed King 2.1" tyres

* Ritchey finishing kit

 

all the reviews seem pretty good but I swear at the last moinute I will buckle and buy an impractical road bike

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Got my first six hours of cyclocross exposure today. The course was epic. Even Choc made an appearance. I loved it and really cant wait to have a complete bike. Almost didnt hear a single pretentious thing the whole time.

 

I was gonna plug this eventually but I have a friend who races cat 1 and is trying to get his name out there as a trainer and developer of fitness programs. Im trying to con him into using my story of "from fatass to cat 3 in 9 months." as marketing, but i think he'd prefer if i could just find some more people to hit him up for coaching.

 

http://www.provantagesports.com/

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decyfer:

recon SL is a shitty fork for serious riding. and juicy 3s are pretty bottom of the barrel... and TYRES. haha. that gets me every time.

 

i've never heard of the company, but just googled and WHAT gave it decent reviews. they also said the fork was good.

 

bottom line: you're probably going to ride road mostly so its not a bad choice as it does have lock-out. probably a good back-into-riding choice.

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