Guest GEAsusONEnep Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 I used to work at this pizza place and one time after we were closed and cleaning up my boss's brother calls and asks for a pizza. I was really mad because I already had the sauce, cheese, dough, etc.. away. So i make the pizza, but before I put the sauce and cheese on I ripped about 5 pubes off of my scrotum and put them on the dough, then put the sauce and cheese on, and then baked the pubes into the pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 ok perv stories... (from the twisted city) 1) This one happen to me and a friend at age 12. this bizarro dude who looked like Paul Bernardo (a very twisted canadian rapist/murderer) pulls up next to us at the bus stop. He just smiles then drives off. We're like "What a homo" but the dup comes back on foot. He's hiding behind some bushes and looking at us. So we can see him acting all wierd. This spy game goes on for a few days, and like the little punk asses we were, we start carying knives. So fianlly this dude pulls up in his car and offers us blowjobs. My friend (who was 14) yells at him then throws a big rock at his car. Too bad iot only dented his hood. Now we were tailing (ok... bad word) following the dude to see wear he was going. Now the fun begins.... So we told my buddy's biker father about the deal. Needles to say we never saw the man again. 2) this one was more recent. I'm sitting in a car with the girlfriend of the moment, getting a little (ok... another bad word) quick blowjob. We're in a low sedan, and this dud in a big Jeep pulls up right next to us. He's looking right down into the car. I'm really freaked out because some old man is trying to look at my package in action. Stay away from High Park after Dark. 3) I'm walking along at 4:00am and this dude pulls over his car and asks "How do I get to High Park?" Luckily I remembered my previous scare... and I just point him in the right direction. So then he asks "And where can I find a boy to take cruising?" Now I'm a little offended here, because I look like I should be selling drugs, not selling ass. Motherfucker kept on driving... too bad I didn't have a rock. 4) this one was the worst... I'm waiting for the streetcar, and this skid on a bike is hanging around. He's acting really wierd. The streetcar pulls up and I get on and I hear him grumbling "..in the ass". So I go sit down and look out the window and see that he's working the bike seat ... yeah... you can guess where. If only I had more rocks. so yeah.. I live in a fucked up city. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uncle-boy Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 when i was about 11 or so i was on a trip with my family going around the US. we were in like oklahoma or something and we were following this group of actors putting on a play. they had guns and blanks and were shooting at each other playing cowboys and bad guys. well at the last scence i was watching the show all happy and what not, then i feel a pinch on my 11 yr old butt. i turn around and i dont see anyone looking at me or anything. i was very puzzeld, then a minute later i get touched on my ass again. i turn around and theres this fat retaded kid smiling at me. i pushed him and was like what the hell, he kept on smiling. i left quikly and got my knife from my hotel, if i saw him again i was planning on killing him. not as gross as other stories, but i was just a little kid getting harrased by a retard.:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JIGSAW Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 Originally posted by professor poopatronic dammit i live in such a boring shitty ass place. i never get to see any cool shit like this. i know it's gross as hell and it would be a whole different story if i was a girl (the stuff devilush described isn't even entertaining just gross and annoying), but dammit i never see anything even remotely weird or funny when i walk the streets. just a bunch of stupid hippies. haha this reminds me of beavis and butthead.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ball bag Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 Originally posted by cheifblame i have a friend who finds it funny to whip out his shlong in front of strangers...he did it to this japanese tourist and yelled "koneechiwa!" she ran off scared HA HA HA !! how fuckin funny is that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
control Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 maybe i attract these weirdos i don't know...i've had all kinds of weird pervs make moves on me. ex: about two weeks ago, i was trying to buy a new camera (a nice one, for better photography) and i found one in the newspaper classifieds. I call the guy, he's still got it, he says he's getting rid of it cheap cause he got a newer, better model as a gift-and i wanna buy this sweet camera, so he tells me to come by his studio the next day to buy it. I go to the studio, me & this guy are talking about photography, my plans for a career, blah blah blah-then out of the blue, he says "hey, if you'll fuck me, i'll lower the price to $150 for the camera, and if i can suck your dick, i'll take $50 off the $350 price." I ran out of that place like the LAPD was after me. Sick bastard. Couple years ago in dallas (not where i live) i was attending a meeting to get enrolled into a college, and i'm just hanging out on the steps outside this big building and some guy walks up and asks me if i'd like to step into the bathroom w/ him. weirdo. But on the positive side, i was getting hammered at a bar right after me & my ex split up, and i was playing pool with 3 girls, one of them made a joke about "menage'a quad" and then the other two just said "ok" and took me home where i proceeded to.... :king: :king: :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted June 25, 2002 Share Posted June 25, 2002 im not witty, you're a lucky person, I tell ya. And say wassup to your girl for me; she sounds fun. uncle-boy, you should feel honoured.:D control, youz a :king: . zesto, i was at high park fishing today at grenadier pond. i'm oh so glad i didn't run into any of your friends there.:eek: moe and GEAsus... ... .....you fucking sick bastards...especially GEAsus...that's SUBHUMAN!! you disgusting pieces of shit. at least know who you do it to! and El Mamerro...I forgot about that shit. musta slipped my mind. That really is a terrible story, and I hope you repress that memory as far deep as you can, man. as for myself, I jsut remembered some bullshit at Bloor/yonge. I was wating for the bus, when a red civic pulls up and rolls down the window. i peer inside, and it's this real big guy. he nods to me and smiles. i ask him where he is heading to (i figured he is asking for directions), and he just smiles, nods to me, then looks down at his passenger seat. this continues, then i say "nahhhh, man...FUCK that!" He drives off. I know this girl who was all up in the raver homeless scene a few years ago(haha - for real!), and she told me that she got some guy pimped buy some - you guessed it pimps - by getting him kidnapped in the streets of Toronto. he 'worked' in Montreal for a while. i'm sure i have enough other stories. some guy down the street from me got booked for child molestation of some sort. they had his picture all over the area. my good friend lived right across the street from him. never got touched, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted July 9, 2002 Share Posted July 9, 2002 bump. I gotta story to tell, but I'mma hold off until I hear some more of these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted July 9, 2002 Share Posted July 9, 2002 http://www.pettipond.com/swan/images/b2elliot.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 i seen this dude el nervo's threads tonight, and they were fucked up, man!:yum: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capindikfays Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 i once killed a man for dipping his frie in my katsup .... somethings are just sacred ..... a concerned bloodskull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 There was this one dude who was outside my middle school wacking off and a bunch of girls saw him... Fuck i hate rapists. Ive know lots of girls who are raped, its fucked over their lives its so sad. I wish all rapists would die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zen Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 i love this thread. http://www.neilswaab.com/comics/wiggles/images/rehab112.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 ^^ that comic is incredible...really. Perfect for this thread. Who does it? Am I a dummy for not knowing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 long story short... a cop down in TJ went up my shorts and grabbed my junk i decked him and ran i would copy and paste the whole story from another thread but im lazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 share your sorrow. that's why i started this thread; to ease the pain I feel of living in a perverted city such as mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 i dont wanna search through the whole damned nightowls thread do you know how big that thing is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 I dig. I'm sure something perverted will happen to you soon - especially if you frequent Tijuana. I feel the laziness, though. I'm off to read some Calvin and Hobbes, peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 every time i go down there i get offered 'virgin pussy' hahahahhaaa and tj stripclubs are a story in themselves just ask vinyl junkie about the hooker finger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I LOVE NY Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 Originally posted by Canadiano and El Mamerro...I forgot about that shit. musta slipped my mind. That really is a terrible story, and I hope you repress that memory as far deep as you can, man. are you sure that slipped ur mind or that u just didnt ever wanna think about it at all again? sorry that happened to u 2 el mammero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capindikfays Posted July 22, 2002 Share Posted July 22, 2002 i have no problem with gay guys. just don't fucken touch me ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zen Posted July 22, 2002 Share Posted July 22, 2002 the comic is by neil swaab. i know nothing about him other than he makes comics funny as hell. he had a thread a while back. hes got some really really good ones. www.neilswaab.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted August 13, 2002 Share Posted August 13, 2002 bump, because I figured this thread might die, and I don't want it to. Also, this thread has only had stories from the city. I just know some of you freight hitters have some rural stories about tractor riding pervs. check this: I'm a regular at this bar. At this bar, a very good friend of mine (let's call him Nestor) is sort of friends with this guy and his mom. The guy (let's call him Adam) is a chubby guy who is mentally sloooow, and he has hormonal problems. His mother (her name will be Beatrice) is a very ugly, hideous looking woman, complete with rolls of fat hanging off her loose face, albeit a nice lady. One day, I'm strolling past the bar to pre-drink a 40 in the park. Nestor comes out of nowhere and grabs me. He tells me that Beatrice had just grabbed his crotch and made an obvious advance on him. We laughed and cried, but he didn't seem too traumatized by it. You have to understand that Adam's one and only friend is his mother, minus the few people who talk to him at the bar on the weekend evenings. One day, watching a Leaf game, Beatrice came up and felt Nestor up, then tried to kiss me on the lips. I completely pushed her face away, and she called me a "wuss". She proceeds to feel up Nestor. Nestor doensn't say anything, because he knows the kid, Adam, and Beatrice was his boss for a good long time. Anyway, Nestor was invited to their house for dinner recently. To make a long story short, he went there, ate dinner, then helped out dim-witted Adam with his computer problems. About 80% of his porn collection was incest - all mother son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew13 Posted August 13, 2002 Share Posted August 13, 2002 "its fucked what pretty girls have to go through" This might be one of the dumbest things i've read on 12oz. yet. matthew...thirteen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted August 15, 2002 Share Posted August 15, 2002 they get jobs 'cuz they look good. yeah, real fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el nervo Posted August 16, 2002 Share Posted August 16, 2002 :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wydontyudie2 Posted August 17, 2002 Share Posted August 17, 2002 Originally posted by im not witty this isnt really a perv story, more like a diet penthouse forum one, but ill tell it anyway. last week i was standing in my window on the 2nd floor of my apt, trying to fix my window blinds that were all fucked up. this redhead cokehead girl that lives next door came outside in a sundress skirt type thing to go to her car, she gets sumthing out starts to leave and then i can tell she sees me out of the corner of her eye. (im still standing in front of the window, she turns around, goes back to her car, and bends over like spread fucking eagle giving me the full panty muff shot from behind, she fake rummages around in her front seat for a hot one, then closes the door emptyhanded and goes back inside. i was like uhhhh cool. thanks i guess. come back anytime. you sir are an asshole. This bitch wanted yo nuts like crazy, that muff shoit was a big greenlight saying put it in nigga my coochie is slopping wet for hard rock. sjheeeeeeeeeitttttttt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Canadiano Posted August 21, 2002 Share Posted August 21, 2002 so I'm walking home with my friend yesterday through the park, and we stop at a bench to drink our last cans. We drink 'em fast, because Oz is gonna be on shortly. Being drunk as I am, I am not the most observant person. We walk off, an I turn around, because I forgot my bag full of litter at the bench. 5 feet away, some guy was crouching there, taking a shit. I'm talkingright there. So I ask why my friend didn't see it earlier, and he says that he did, he just didn't say anything. I saw shit coming out of a white guy's (of course) ass. I don't know who is the bigger pervert, the defacator, or my buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 a few days ago, I'm chilling in the park underneath a gazebo with a buddy. We were predrinking, and it was storming outside. So a group of persians asks if they could join us, and we say sure. One of them, a short pudgy kid with glasses (let's call him Pudgy) gives us a shot of Jack's. I could tell he was nearing the point where he's had enough, and he looked like he was 16 or so. Eventually they leave, and my friend and I end up talking to a couple of girls who came to the gazebo to burn. For an hour we talk, then they leave. The weed had slowed down my friend and I's alcohol consumption rate, and it was nearing 2:00am (last call). No more bar for us, we decide. As we are rolling up the next splee, the three persians, who I forgot to add are pretty fresh off the boat, come back. We exchange pleasantries, and Pudgy asks for me to give him five. I do, and he tries to pull me towards him making kissy lips. I'm sorta confused, but I figure that sorta thing is funny in Iran. Moments later, he comes up to me, and puts his hand underneath my shirt! I raise my fist, but his friend grabs my arm, and the other gets in between Pudgy and I and pleads for me to stop. I'm chilling, so I say alright. It's not like he touched any of my vitals. I had a feeling that Pudgy just came out of the closet. I felt bad for the friends. One of them stuck around and chatted with my friend and I, while the other took Pudgy down the path by the tennis courts. A minute or so later, when both persians were chatting with us, I see Pudgy standing up with his pants down around his ankles, jerking it. A lot happened after, but let's just say that while I was puffing on an L, bottles were being broken. My friend and I left shaking the two friends' hands. The Pudge was unavailable, as he was next to them in a small pool of blood. I'm sure he wasn't too fucked up, but I am sure that he has no friends now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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