SMdoubleXL

boring people with my instagram posts

i always get nervous posting amongst some of you heavy hitters here..but i balls up every now and then. a few favorites . camping up in northeastern Utah Fourth of July Santa Monica beach Aug 2013 my kid gets wicked goosebumps when she is cold Venice Beach Indian bazaar firepittin can actually see us in the owl's eye my favorite angle (if allowed) great nephews

im gona say false, because it seems like the right thing to say the person below me is layin in bed ( i would have never guessed)

probably false since im only 5'4" tpbm still has a dictionary(the actual book) at home.

burning time. going though pictures.. usually

good luck Fictionator Inj-you seem real sweet (as most of you do) as far as Drs go-they can only go by what is being told by you. even then-some of them only prescribe as their pockets tell them I told my dr several years ago while going through withdrawls,(before i recognized them as withdrawls) what my symptoms were. hot n cold nauseous..oh so nauseous and arm/leg twitches when sitting stilll those were miserable didnt let me sleep for real-and i told him I started to notice it about 2 days after i would run out of my pain meds. he really just brushed it off and wrote another script. this was right around the time to really look into opiate based pain meds and realize there was a problem now Im 11 yrs deep. however, i havent had any pills (except for PM meds to try to help me sleep,tagament for my stomach and 800 ibuprofen for some type of pain management) in about 2-2 1/2 weeks. the nausea has passed (except for my normal nausea from nerve damage from my surgery) and the leg/arm twitching has subsided about 75% i wake up not feeling like shit. sex is orgasmic again but my normal guarded self is still here. (i guess thats most of us) funny thing is-if i look back about a year from now, in this thread, i was probably posting the same shit. as of now, my want for pills is about a 2 outta 10 (10 being highest) would i turn em down if they were presnted to me? either given or to be bought? nope. am i jonsein enough to get on the phone to find a connect, nope. so i think im good. whats gonna help?...my Dr is losing his license to practice and my street dr got busted by the feds. and hopefully in the time i can just realize on my own and the desire drops to zero. so that when it is in my face-i can pass. i hope all is well with everyone-i seriously think about ya all.

thanks for that input. maybe im an ass, but i tend to keep relationships and sex in two separate corners. obviously with relationships come sex, bt not necessarily the other way around. when im clean, i tend to be a real ass. i put off men. but if one can get through- when it comes to sex..i have learned that i can (finish) when i got some in my system, im a very lovable person. (or so i like to think) but i never (finish) while high. obviously its because im not numb/numb. with no pills- i tend to 'dance with myself" several times a day. maybe this is all too much..but cmon-i cant be the only one. and since we lay it all out here..(well i lay it all around i guess) hahaha men? women? erection problems? while clean/sober? while getting sober?

can we talk about sex though? the affects your drug/drink of choice has on your sex life? before during and after use? i generally have a hard time gettin off during sex. and realized that 12 years of numbing my body hasnt helped. during the periods when its out of my system, even for a few days...man- i cant get enough. (and i usually cant get it, so tend to 'dance' with myself a lot anywhere and anytime. discuss (i know this isnt the super sex thread and ive seen the topic touched (pardon the pun) in here- im just curious)

i remember being n the hospital (12 yrs ago) and fighting the option for morphine for fear of addiction mind you, ive had my skull opened up up 3 different times within 3 months. i was able to just do "pain management" up until 8-9 yrs ago--then justified it with my brain problems my dr would prescribe..and when i ran out,,i was back callin my street doc. we def justify our use. currently doin roxis and man--the fucking tolerance level scares me a lil. how quick and fast it builds. beside my regular dr getting popped last month-my other dude just got taken in in some federal bust the other day. more obstacles gonna be real tough in a few days but i know itll pass i always does right? i agree with Injury and ugene AVOID that shit at all costs i know there are way more harsh drugs out there and a few words from other addicts wont change shit. idk why i continue to dump inhere-i guess because there isnt anyone else who i would ever talk to about it. for that i appreciate you giys

i love how you guys an pull each others card and not get offended we all know how to bullshit other people but when you deal with common addicts we all see the bullshit coming i hope you all are doing alright I try to say my .02 in props so i dont forget what i wanted to say (like i am now) i love Ralph's and POZ's input as well as other checking in on nurgs and genuinely showing heart for others (everyone else, really) i got close with someone via this thread and he relapsed-becuase of the relapse he went bback on the streets Im actually scared he wont make it. clean now though, just because his situation. ramblingon back in sept I really hurt my body and had to go back on pain killers and naturally its not enough anymore my Dr got popped for Rx's so maybe thats a start for me not to go back to him at least it creates a bit of an obstacle felt the need to say that i suppose i just really wanted to stop in and say you all are loved and tought about

those are dope^^ on 12 oz burning time as usual waitin for this asshole to call me

we WERE into some kinky shit tho haha thank you .

sooooooo The other day we went to the movies and upon leaving the casino, who do I see? the fucking guy that my stories on this page are about. I forgot how short he is hahah We make eye contact and I can tell he recognized me. maybe not specifically but know I was familiar to him. We walk past him and a few steps after I look back over my shoulder at him to see if he was looking and he was..at the same time one of the guys we were with tapped my ass (to get my attention) ha I look back one more time and he has a smirk on his face and was shankin his head. nothing exciting, but just felt like sharing. Vegas is so small

dear donuts thanks for showing up dear dr thank for calling back dear everyone else. (nutshell) ive been in severe pain for 2 months pain that is in a general area, but cannot determine the specific area. low abdominal/pelvic area/hip area 2 dr appts 2 ER visits everyone keeps focusing on artheritis in hip due to a past dislocation i see this shit on the news a few days ago http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/local_news/investigations/essure-patients-stage-rally-meet-with-ob-gyns-in-washington (not this exact story--but a more local news story) ive had this device in me for 8-9 yrs now. I see my ob/gyn tmrw and HOPE this is the problem because it sounds a lot easier/cheaper than ortho drs/spine/specialists/MRIs/gastros... mind you i am a cash paying patient. wish me luck. painfully yours SMdoubledover

work. paying tuition skippin to the east coast a few times a year =) still in pain.

false. tpbm gives zero fukcs about matching socks

dear pain, go the fuck away. dear dr, please return my call tmrw. dear donuts, please show up at my door waiting here with milk, no drugs, and a full charge on my phone. grrrrSMski

in pain instagram posting checking 12 oz. hoping to tire myself

false i am the devil tpbm has a bewb within reach

dear caligula, in my short residency in Phoenix,i was told they had abolished that system. I could be wrong, it happens all of the time, but when a cop pulls you over and you sign a ticket, it is YOU acknowledging that you received that ticket, like a subpoena for court. when they mail you tickets (like jury duty summons{i have been told}) there is no actual proof that you received it i guess so many tickets went unpaid that the system doesnt exist anymore. but what do i know. but what i do know is that i havent been around here in a bit and i miss you guys and your witty selves. too many too name i hope you all are well. Love lOve loVe lovE sm-ski

dear caliluga. dont let it happen again. but we'll forgive you if it does. hope youre doing well. dear scumbag of my dreams, i dont know where to start, but i definitely know i dont want it to end. thank you for being you exes and ohs less than 3 smdoublebubble

dear !@#$% sounds like the way to go, and the best position to be in. Im sure many can only imagine what it is like. you bring up a point though, some people cannot live without their 'possessions' so they choose those over adventures. i have learned that i discover a little bit about myself every time i step foot out of las vegas and that has become important to me. even tho i cannot travel the world, or even outside of the country yet, i do love my little getaways. last year i gave up the possessions in order to just live a simple life, which also has humbled me. and if i didnt have to pay XXXXX intuition every year for the kid i would explore more. but its only 3 more years...maybe by then our safari paths can cross. ha dear brother, i still cant believe you ran the fucking meter on me when i asked for a ride home. YOU EVEN LONG HAULED ME!!! fucker dear new tattoo artist, damn. the work is so good, and the healing was so quick. i am impressed. i will be back dear 12ozmatch.com we meet tmrw night. have a good day all, smdubski

tdb just moving my kid into the dorm. so is not gonna be THAT heavy. however,might i point out that I too am meeting my 12oz dude this weekend. for the first time. shenans will follow

up. cant sleep gotta be up in 4 hrs. only to work. then come home and pack catch redeye once we land, start moving.shopping, unpacking. meet dude. then we all knows what happens from there. fuck i need some sleep.