twistedthoughts

I lurk. Have done for many years. Will probably leave now the ORRY thread is gone.

Makes this guy seem normal.

From what I know, A+ is supposed to be the equivalent of what you would know after working in the field for 6 months. So if you have no experience and are unable to get any, A+ may be valuable. If you can get a foot in the door of an IT department you would be better off though and if you think about it - you would be being paid to learn.

Re: Great Pictures~ That tree. I must climb it.

Fucking hell 8:55am?!?!?? I get up at 5:30am, breakfast, get stuff ready for work, at the gym at 6:00-6:15am, at work at 7:30am. I shower at the gym because it's right next to work. I can finish work at early as 3:15pm if I really want to. It's nice finishing work and still having some day left to do stuff. Makes me sleep better at night too which I've had problems with all my life. Now I zonk out at about 10:30-11:00pm.

I guess I'm the only one who doesn't really have a problem with this photo... Looks like she's just having a pic taken of her tattoo. She's covering up any "rude" bits. I also don't see anything wrong with a child seeing their parent naked. But that's just me.

Man, you guys were deprived. While you were looking at 3D Disney images, I was rocking this: THE PIZZA THROWER!!! Every action figure within a 1 mile radius got damaged to some degree by this piece of thoughtless awesomeness. On the front there was a sticker which read "Do not fire at people or animals". My big sister copped the first pizza ever fired out of it. My ass copped my Dad's wrath. It was worth it.

Dude, I don't think people are complaining because it's too hard or that they don't understand the game - they're just wanting to add some challenge or variety to it. With 4 letters, you're usually restricted to either changing the first consonant or the vowel. That said... mule *edit

I live in an almost completely flat city. Due to this, every man and his dog cycles. I have no problem with this. I share the road. Local government has painted cycle lanes on many of the roads so there is genuine marked space for all. What DOES fuck me off though is when these motherfuckers go cycling with their gay lovers. Instead of doing the normal thing and cycling one in front of the other, they cycle side by side so they can talk about how much they love to pound each other in the ass. As I mentioned before, there are cycle lanes here. Generous cycle lanes. But when these cunts cycle side by side, you guessed it, one of them is in the cycle lane, the other is in the middle of the FUCKING ROAD!!! Give the cunts and inch and they take a mile, seriously. They get the verbal abuse and major horn blowing from me. I don't think it quite warrants anything physical unless they physically attacked me, at which point it would be on.

Word. Props.

YES! I guess you had to be there. :dozey:

That is SO FUCKING COOL!

I seem to have unintentionally hyped up my boring ass job. I work for the tax department (not in the US) mainly checking accounting data for large companies (i.e. turnover > $350M) and making sure they are calculating tax correctly/declaring income correctly and a whole bunch of other shit that you don't care about. The other side of the job is forensics - where the department has reason to believe that a person(s) has created false documents and deleted them. We will charge on in, take a complete image of their hard drive and systematically undelete everything in the slack space* searching for said documents. In the process EVERYTHING gets undeleted, including such things as: midget porn, home-made porn, child porn and regular porn. Same applies to cell phones, iPods, palm devices and anything else. If it can store data, we can take data from it. * For those that don't know how a hard disk works, when you "delete" a file, it doesn't vanish, it is simply renamed to let the OS know that said file can now be overwritten. These files are called "slack space". So if you delete something and it isn't overwritten, it will be sitting there ready to be retrieved in full. Even if it is overwritten, there's still a good chance we will get at least part of it back. So yeah, sorry to disappoint you.

This type of stuff is part of what makes up my job. Google "computer forensics". You won't hide shit by deleting your txt messages. Also, a locked phone is just a piece of readily available software away from being unlocked. Sim cards included. If you want to do something dodgy, either keep it away from technology or purchase a program that will properly delete evidence from your computer (by writing over the data with 0's and 1's). Of course, if you're really dodgy, any forensics expert will see an unusual pattern of 0's and 1's and know what you did. Even after overwriting, it is still possible (but EXTREMELY expensive) to undelete the original data. I'm watching you.

For me, there's nothing stopping me from joining in..but I don't come here to do that. My job involves me auditing large companies and giving feedback on their accounting systems and processes. This includes checking the data in their systems for any anomalies. It's interesting as hell (to me), but I spend all day with a bunch of IT people who have a "particular" type of humour. I come here because it's good to check out some of the shit that comes from (mostly) creative minds. Completely different type of humour - refreshing as fuck when you've spent all day pretending to laugh at Mac vs PC jokes.

NICE! You just took my prop-ginity.

This is pretty much me. Right down to the half-written posts that I back out of. Been lurking since 2001. I think I followed (e-stalked) Mams here after the freestylesession.com and bboy.com boards turned to shit. This is a board for writers and I don't write so I don't post so much. Also, as the post count and e-fame is so low, I know that should I post something that I think is funny, it has to be A-grade bust your gut and pee in your pants funny or else I will be barraged by a bunch of FAIL replies from dudes who have been here for 6 months and have 1,500 posts. To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. :D

Dude, that cat is playing you like the bitch you are. When it's main source of love and affection (your roommate) is home, you ain't shit. The second he walks out the door, the cat goes to you for some lovin'. And you lap it up like a stupid whore. Cat: 1 You: -999999999999^999999

After watching the 2girls1cup video, this was just another "stupid hoes eating shit" video...not that 2girls1cup was anything to write home about. BOO-URNS!

I've never really understood tipping. Why the fuck does your government allow people to pay such low wages that their staff need to supplement their income with tips - which are at the mercy of their asshole patrons?

Speaking of out-ruding people, I was at a bar a couple years ago with a bunch of my friends and co-workers (Friday night drinks). The bar was kinda empty except for our crew (around 15-20 people). I noticed two chicks sitting at a table across the room. I recognised them because they were in a social dragon boating team I was in a few months earlier. Seeing as they were by themselves I thought I'd invite them over to our table. Now, just to set the scene, these girls were NOT hot by any means. One was fat and looked like she had downs syndrome. The other looked like one of those bitches who must have had kids real early and then let themselves go. She looked about 35 but was probably only 25. So I say "Hey! We were in the same dragon boating team" and try to make some small talk. In reply, all I get is stuck up attitude from both these bitches. Stuck up "We are too good for you" attitude. Really blatant and rude. I recognised this so decided I had to remedy the situation. I said "Hey, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Let's go to the bar and I'll order us all some drinks". One of them asked "What kind of drink" to which I replied "Anything you want." We went to the bar and I turned to them and asked them what they wanted. They immediately went for the most expensive drinks they could order. The barman poured their drinks after which I said "Could I please get a beer?". He gave me my beer, I paid for it and walked away - stiffing these two bitches with the most expensive drinks in the bar. The sad thing is - if they had of ordered a normal drink I would probably have paid for it (I was pretty drunk). They paid for their drinks and left shortly after to a big "FUCK OFF" from all of my co-workers. Nice!

Nigga needs a new hand.

She didn't marry Paul McCartney for his money...but now that they're divorced she has no problem taking millions of dollars that she had no part in earning.