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Work is Hell

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Gunm, Dec 7, 2005.

  1. Gunm

    Gunm Banned

    Joined: Aug 31, 2003 Messages: 12,427 Likes Received: 1
    I work in an office and besides myself, there's only one other interesting person here. Everyone else is strictly rank and file which suits the rank and file duties that comprise our position as (blank) specialists.
    They all seem so bored with life and their boredom rubs off on me so in an effort to promote anti-routinism, I like to do things around the office that upset the languid haze of tedium that hangs around everyones heads.

    Or in other words, i like fucking with people here.

    1.) I went into the kitchen this morning, removed a sandwich from someone's bag. Took a single bite out of it and put it back in the sandwich bag. ha ha ha.

    2.)Saw a bottle of water marked "DO NOT DRINK" ha ha ha, why yes, i will take up that invitation sir. Cracked open bottle, drank about a quarter of it, laughed at the food bits from the sandwich bite that were floating in the bottle....ha ha, put cap back on bottle.

    3.)Found a condom wrapper in my pocket. Dropped it by the copy machine.

    4.)Took a big dook in the bathroom that was picture perfect. Left it in the bowl as a testimony of my new and improved healthy diet.

    5.)Took a stapler off one guys desk (control freak) and put it on the desk across from his. Ha ha


    So, let's see what happens as a result of these actions later!
     
  2. coffeedependency

    coffeedependency Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 1,202 Likes Received: 0
  3. coffeedependency

    coffeedependency Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 1,202 Likes Received: 0
    come on.

    you know poop is funny.
     
  4. Jack McCoy

    Jack McCoy Member

    Joined: Jan 31, 2005 Messages: 391 Likes Received: 0
    The food and water bottle thing is amusing, but the shit in the toilet is just obnoxious. I used to house my co-workers edibles also, but not to be a dick, I was just hungry.
     
  5. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,306 Likes Received: 104
  6. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40
    I think I'll stick to my 3 hour lunches and doing nothing but drawing all day. Thanks...
     
  7. ERIZENO

    ERIZENO Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2003 Messages: 1,999 Likes Received: 28
    [​IMG]
    And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...
     
  8. Gunm

    Gunm Banned

    Joined: Aug 31, 2003 Messages: 12,427 Likes Received: 1
    ^^^

    we have people here like that....no joke
     
  9. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,306 Likes Received: 104
    Hahhaa..

    Thats awesome.

    You made friends with them first right?
     
  10. Jack McCoy

    Jack McCoy Member

    Joined: Jan 31, 2005 Messages: 391 Likes Received: 0
    Yeah Shark

    The better way to rebel includes things like extended lunches, sick day abuse, and extensive long distance calling.

    And why do you think I'm on 12oz. discussing trivial shit all day?
     
  11. IHeartFr8s

    IHeartFr8s Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 24, 2004 Messages: 1,219 Likes Received: 0
  12. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    haha...dude...the food thing will put them over the top. our drunk/drug addict mail guy was eating people's lunches here. the entire office flipped out. they even changed the door code to the break room.
     
  13. Herbivore

    Herbivore Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 12, 2004 Messages: 1,431 Likes Received: 1
    Someone did that sandwich shit at my job. One of my co-workers had a burger in the fridge and came back to it with one bite missing. Another co-worker had a bacon cheeseburger and found that someone had taken the bacon off of it.
     
  14. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,503 Likes Received: 438
    if i were any of these people i would stab you.
     
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