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stupid jokes


murderland_bgk

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So this guy goes to the doctor and tells him "dadada dada dddddocctor, i, i, i, i, have a st stuu stuttering papapapaproblem, ca ca ca can u he he help me?"

 

doctor goes "ok i'll try, we have to run some exams on you and we'll tell you if we can help"

 

guy goes" tha tha thank you dah dah dah doctor"

 

doctor comes back " we found out whats the problem, your dick is too big, we can replace it with a smaller one and it might just do the trick"

 

guy goes "ok, le le le lets do tha tha that"

 

a month later......

 

 

guy : "doctor thank you so much, you have fixed my stuttering problem, i can now hold a conversation clearly and everyone understands me....theres one problem though....i cant satisfy my wife, she says im a joke in bed, so do u think i can have my dick back?"

 

doctor says..........

 

 

 

 

nah nah nah nah NO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BADUM TISH!

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my son tells me stupid jokes all the time, some he makes up a couple i told him

 

Why can't the kid fly? because he doesn't have a helmet or wings (he made that up and finds it hilarious, he is only 4)

 

also

 

how do you make a milkshake? you scare it

how do you get a cow out the road? MOOOOOOOOOve it

whats wobbly and flies? a jellycopter

 

sometimes stupid jokes can be great, but generally not

 

whats green and brown and will kill you if it falls out a tree? a snooker table

whats yellow and smells like paint? yellow paint

did you hear about the magic tractor? it drove down the road and turned into a field

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a guy is at a camp and he ask the other guy wat do u do for fun cuz there is no girls and the guy says there is a barrel out back so he gets bored an he sticks his dick in the barrel a little later he goes back 2 the dude and says that was good how many times can I do this and the other guy says every day but sunday an he says y not sunday and the guy says cuz its ur turn in the barrel.......some old guy told be this joke it was a bit creepy

 

I think you clicked on the wrong thread.

 

This one was titled "Stupid Jokes," not "Tell us about the summer you lost your virginity in a barrel."

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Yo mamas so fat, she could sell shade!

 

Yo mamas so fat, when I bang her I just slap her thigh and ride the wave!

 

Yo mamas so fat, she has to put on a belt with a boomerang!

 

Yo mamas so fat, she jumped off a building and counted to three, but when she said "one" she hit the ground!

 

Yo mamas so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what's on the other side!

 

Yo mamas so stupid, I told her to go buy a color TV, and she said "what color?"

 

Yo mamas so dumb, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W's.

 

Yo mamas so fat the deathstar blew her up thinking she was Alderon!

 

That's all I got for now, fags.

 

OH I'LL BE BACK

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Two men die and go to heaven... At the heaven's gates St. Peter greets them and tells them their transportation around heaven will reflect the life they lead.

 

St. Peter says to the first man, "Come here my son and tell me your sins."

 

"St. Peter, I was an over all good person. I cheated on a high school test once and stole a pack of gum."

 

St. Peter says, "very well, take this five year old Honda Civc and enjoy eternity in heaven"

 

St. Peter asks the second man to tell come forth and tell him his sins...

 

"St. Peter, I've lead the life of an honest man. I've never stole, I've never lied, I've never, ever cheated on my wife."

 

"Very well," St. Peter Says. "Here, take this brand new, white Mercedes Benz and enjoy the rest of you time here in heaven"

 

- Later in the day the first man in the Civic pulls up next to the second man at a light and sees him crying in his brand new Mercedes....

 

He asks, "Why are you crying, you lead a wonderful life, did the right thing, and now you get to spend the rest of eternity in this beautiful Mercedes."

 

The first man lifts his head and replies... "Well, I just saw my wife and she was ridding a skateboard."

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