losers

[HardyHarHar]

Somewhere in Minnesota:

 

A man armed with a sword and dressed as a ninja attempted to rob the Richfield Lunds Market Jan. 27 but left empty-handed.

 

Witnesses told police they thought the masked man in black, who entered Lunds, 6228 Penn Ave. S., was joking at first, said Lt. Todd Sandell of the Richfield Police Department.

 

That is until he unsheathed a 3-foot katana, or Japanese sword, waved it at a cashier and demanded money, according to police reports.

 

The cashier told the ninja that she couldn't get the register open because she was "in the middle of ringing someone up," police said. Flustered, the man uttered a profanity, turned around and left the store.

 

No one was injured.

 

Cloaked in skin-tight black clothes and a mask that revealed only his blue eyes, the would-be robber appeared to be between 20 to 30 years old, 5 feet, 6 inches tall and 150 pounds, witnesses said.

 

Police haven't been able to locate the man, but are pursuing leads provided by multiple witnesses, Sandell said.

 

Anyone with information about the incident is encouraged to call Richfield Police at 612-861-9800.- Compiled by Steven Pease

[CALIgula]

i think this was already posted....unless it was a different ninja.

[the_gooch]

yeah the first ninja started a trend.

[CALIgula]

i once made a whole thread dedicated to ninjas.

[HardyHarHar]

sorry. I hvn't been on the oz recently. Tonight I caught up on about five The Wire episodes though, which I think ought to count for something.

[Frate_Raper]

Dude if rock bottom isn't a botched armed with a sword robbery, then I don't know what is.

 

 

 

I feel bad for the guy but i would love to see his thought process before hand and after!

[CALIgula]

sorry. I hvn't been on the oz recently. Tonight I caught up on about five The Wire episodes though, which I think ought to count for something.

 

no need for apology...i was just pointing it out.

[Schnitzel]

If this has been posted before I'm sorry but it made melaugh when I got emailed this the other day and it does fit nicely into the loser category

 

sorry for the long read

 

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends

and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her

appearance on the popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

 

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the

first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing

"the absolute worst use of lifelines ever."

 

 

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured

her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely

easy $100 question. The question was:

 

 

"Which of the following is the largest?"

A) A Peanut

B) An Elephant

C) The Moon

D) Hey, who you calling large?

 

 

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she

realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the

answer.

 

 

"Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best

to hide her disbelief and disgust. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of

these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."

 

 

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.

Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an

elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question,

Evans still remained unsure.

 

 

"Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I

think I better phone a friend."

 

 

Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans

asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.

 

 

"Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the

first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of

the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds

hun."

 

 

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to

argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.

 

 

"Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that

can't be it."

 

 

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's

advice and pick 'The Moon.'

 

 

"I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I

think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.

 

 

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of

answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the

dumbest choice of her life.

 

"Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the

too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with

your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm

going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated

breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact,

C, 'The Moon.'

[HardyHarHar]

That's fine. Okay, I'll toss you bone. For anyone who watches the wire - Prez, aka Presboluwski, came into my workplace. I said, "You look just like this guy from The Wire." He said, "Yeah, that's me."

[tango 24]

ringing someone up stops you opening a cash drawer?

fuck it

if your desperate enough to rob someone you might as well get some money

[HardyHarHar]

Egg-cellent submission She-nitzel.

 

That's fucking stupid. Cow bigger than a moon?

[Schnitzel]

cheers HHH

[sarahyoulose]

That's fine. Okay, I'll toss you bone. For anyone who watches the wire - Prez, aka Presboluwski, came into my workplace. I said, "You look just like this guy from The Wire." He said, "Yeah, that's me."

 

 

hes such an IDIOT!!

 

I just started the first season, and am on disc 2 so all that prez has contributed tot he series so far is shooting a wall and a half blind 14 yera old. so far i am not impressed by him.

 

Show is FUCKING ADDICTING. im going to spend 20 hours tommorrow watching the rest ....

[WorldBench]