HardyHarHar Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Somewhere in Minnesota: A man armed with a sword and dressed as a ninja attempted to rob the Richfield Lunds Market Jan. 27 but left empty-handed. Witnesses told police they thought the masked man in black, who entered Lunds, 6228 Penn Ave. S., was joking at first, said Lt. Todd Sandell of the Richfield Police Department. That is until he unsheathed a 3-foot katana, or Japanese sword, waved it at a cashier and demanded money, according to police reports. The cashier told the ninja that she couldn't get the register open because she was "in the middle of ringing someone up," police said. Flustered, the man uttered a profanity, turned around and left the store. No one was injured. Cloaked in skin-tight black clothes and a mask that revealed only his blue eyes, the would-be robber appeared to be between 20 to 30 years old, 5 feet, 6 inches tall and 150 pounds, witnesses said. Police haven't been able to locate the man, but are pursuing leads provided by multiple witnesses, Sandell said. Anyone with information about the incident is encouraged to call Richfield Police at 612-861-9800.- Compiled by Steven Pease Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 i think this was already posted....unless it was a different ninja. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_gooch Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 yeah the first ninja started a trend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 i once made a whole thread dedicated to ninjas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardyHarHar Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 sorry. I hvn't been on the oz recently. Tonight I caught up on about five The Wire episodes though, which I think ought to count for something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frate_Raper Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Dude if rock bottom isn't a botched armed with a sword robbery, then I don't know what is. I feel bad for the guy but i would love to see his thought process before hand and after! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 sorry. I hvn't been on the oz recently. Tonight I caught up on about five The Wire episodes though, which I think ought to count for something. no need for apology...i was just pointing it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 If this has been posted before I'm sorry but it made melaugh when I got emailed this the other day and it does fit nicely into the loser category sorry for the long read NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of lifelines ever." After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: "Which of the following is the largest?" A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon D) Hey, who you calling large? Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer. "Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be." Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure. "Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend." Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant. "Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun." Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. "Come on Betsy, are you sure?" said Evans. "How sure are you? Puh, that can't be it." To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.' "I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life. "Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer." Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardyHarHar Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 That's fine. Okay, I'll toss you bone. For anyone who watches the wire - Prez, aka Presboluwski, came into my workplace. I said, "You look just like this guy from The Wire." He said, "Yeah, that's me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango 24 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 ringing someone up stops you opening a cash drawer? fuck it if your desperate enough to rob someone you might as well get some money Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardyHarHar Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 Egg-cellent submission She-nitzel. That's fucking stupid. Cow bigger than a moon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schnitzel Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 cheers HHH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahyoulose Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 That's fine. Okay, I'll toss you bone. For anyone who watches the wire - Prez, aka Presboluwski, came into my workplace. I said, "You look just like this guy from The Wire." He said, "Yeah, that's me." hes such an IDIOT!! I just started the first season, and am on disc 2 so all that prez has contributed tot he series so far is shooting a wall and a half blind 14 yera old. so far i am not impressed by him. Show is FUCKING ADDICTING. im going to spend 20 hours tommorrow watching the rest .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorldBench Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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