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heavyLox

Heavy’s List of Holiday grievances:

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Heavy’s List of Holiday grievances:

 

• I hate shopping for anything. I usually grab

the first thing closest to the door of the

store.

 

• If one more Lady gets in my way, sucks

her teeth, rolls eyes in my direction I WILL

black out and wrap that fur around you

neck so you eyes bulge out your head.

 

• If one more store employee asks if I need

help ( A THINNLY VEILED GUISE TO WATCH

ME SO I DON’T STEAL SHIT) I will burn the

store down, after I get what I want of

course.

 

• I’ll toss an elbow or so if you try and invade

my aisle space.

 

• Lady I saw you knock the shit off the rack,

Pick it up.

 

• muther fucker I’m out shopping for shit,

don’t ask me for donations for you fucking

“high school basketball team”, this is

Christmas not “save a team I’ve never

heard of” time.

 

• PLEASE let me call your store, and have

you tell me You have item X in stock and

when I get there tell me You never even

carried it, let alone have it in stock. Fuck,

that’s 25 cents for the call and an hour and

a half of my life I’ll never get back thanks

jack ass!

 

 

Parking lot grievances:

 

• Bitch you have a fucking turn signal, USE

IT!

 

• Double parkers: I am not above carrying

bananas, for your tail pipe. Find a spot and

park the fucking car.

 

• Its called a 3 point turn for a good reason,

there is no need to turn a turn in to a public

event, with acts and scenes and an

intermission while you get out of the car to

see if you have enough space.

 

• We are very close to finding out if your cell

phone still works crammed up your ass, get

off the phone and drive like you have

purpose in life.

 

 

I love my fam. I love my friends. I love my lady.

I love spending time with all of you, but why do I

have to by you shit? You know I hate shopping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

rant over.

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Thats why I goto the dollar store..and buy each family member one thing from the dollar store. Yahearddd

(im dead serious too.)

 

 

edit*by->buy

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agreed, thats why, and i hate to say it, places like wallmart and kmart are nice becuz you can pick up all of the shit you have to get in on square acre, but most of them ive been to have all the above mentioned problems/annoyances, that its almost not worth showing my face:o

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i feel you on people knocking shit over and not picking it up. i worked for a major retail store for a couple years and to this day if i see someone make a mess in a store it pisses me off. have some god damn respect.

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i think i need a personal shopper. When i blow up like Pea Dizzle, thats the first thing im gonna get, after an honest Accountant.

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I truly hate when I get eyed by every fucking employee in the store. Walmart is the worst, I swear, when I go in there, they send a team out to follow me. Fucking douche bags.

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Guest Pilau Hands

that's why there's Festivus for the rest of us, homie

 

let us now begin the Airing of Grievances

followed by the Feats of Strength

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I don't mind shopping and I don't mind thinking of things for people, but christmas music makes me want to stab someone.

 

Also at wal-mart there was the most annoying person going on the intercom saying "santa you have a call on line one; santa; call santa" in this horrible voice that made me want to strangle whoever was on the other end of that line.

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You think you guys got it bad? I work fulltime in a MAJOR retail store. I'm contemplating taking in some kind of blunt instrument next time i go to work, just in case people keep pushing me too far. Around this time of the year, my compassion for other members of the human race sinks to it's lowest point.

 

And please try to remember, don't take all your shit out on the staff. If we're sold out of something, it's not our fault, if it costs too much, it's not our fault, if it takes too long, it's because we're schmoozing the chicks from ladies clothing, but most of the time, we can't do anything about those little fuckups. But if you really feel like screaming at someone, don't do it at the poor 15 year old casual or the tired fulltimer, ask politely to see the manager and rip the shit through them. Nothing would make my day better.

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Guest krie

Shopping check out que - i hate having one small item in your hand, and you walk to see which isle you will choose, and there completely full with people that have a shopping cart full of gear, and you have to wait for their stupid ass's to hurry up

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yeah but when your dumb one item ass gets in front of me and then decides to pay with a check. BLACKOUT TIME.

 

 

 

***********UPDate************

 

* fella, push me one more time as we line up to board the train. I swear to baby jesus...

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Guest sneak
Originally posted by Hoblow

You think you guys got it bad? I work fulltime in a MAJOR retail store. I'm contemplating taking in some kind of blunt instrument next time i go to work, just in case people keep pushing me too far. Around this time of the year, my compassion for other members of the human race sinks to it's lowest point.

 

And please try to remember, don't take all your shit out on the staff. If we're sold out of something, it's not our fault, if it costs too much, it's not our fault, if it takes too long, it's because we're schmoozing the chicks from ladies clothing, but most of the time, we can't do anything about those little fuckups. But if you really feel like screaming at someone, don't do it at the poor 15 year old casual or the tired fulltimer, ask politely to see the manager and rip the shit through them. Nothing would make my day better.

 

fucking A! feel for the employees...we dont want to be there, we dont want to be serving you or asking if you need help..we just want to dissapear into the stock room. you think you hate xmas music? come work in my shop and want to slit your wrists to shit covers of shit like "i wish it would be xmas everyday" etc etc.. and i agree...take it out on the manager. that will make EVERY employees day.

 

ive got to add (from a workers p.o.v):

* if you stop to ask me one more crappy question, i will punch you as im already 3/4 of an hour late for my break.

*if you want to know when we shut, look at the list of opening times!

*no, this is a camping shop. we do not stock <insert obscure piece of crap>

*no, your whining, bratty, spoiled, ugly child can not use our bathroom.

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this is why i did 99% of my xmas shopping on the computer. Its cheaper and its delivered at your doorstep.

For the stuff i did have to get at stores, I went after work around 530 on the weekdays.

Never go shopping on the weekends...never. Thats just asking for frustration and trouble...unless you like that kinda stuff.

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^^^ i know most folks hate there jobs and doing retail anything at this time of year sux BUT; The level of general customer service in the US has dropped to almost non-exsistant. There is no more 'take pride in your job', work ethic. People are like i just want to cruse through the day and be oleft alone, but thats hard when your job requires customer interaction.

 

Although i do think its gotta suck top work in any service industry during season.

 

 

 

****** update Via sneak*********

 

* Lady please lets play fetch. I'm gonna toss your child as far as i can and you go get him.

* Control your child. Please. If your child runs shit leave him/her at home, its embarressing to see a forty something being ordered around by a child.

* holidays give renewed meaning to the phrase " children should be seen, but not heard"

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