(703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
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(614): She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
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(407): I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
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(310): Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
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(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
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