Dear new manager,
Please stop cutting those disastrous farts whenever you come into my office to ask me something. We've all heard your claims of having 'mild colitis', but I still think it's an excuse for the fact that you're a vile, stank-ass, redneck douchebag. The next time you drop you ass gasses near my desk, I'm going to wash out your coffee mug in the urinal.
Cease and desist,
n.