Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974

 

Sorry if this may have been posted before.

 

From:

http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards

 

 

 



I hope that you can see that this is a jellied salad.

Do you see it glisten?

Do you require a close-up to understand that these beans and mushrooms

and pimiento strips are one solid, glistening mass? Okay!

 

See how the Ceramic Mushroom Family has gathered

to show their children what happens to bad little mushrooms.

 

 



Chicken Liver Bake: enjoy it with the ashes of a loved one.

 

Or maybe what's left of the chickens are in that urn.

Maybe the chickens were your loved ones.

 

But chickens never love back enough. And that's why you have to KILL them.

And eat their livers ritualistically. And then they're a part of you forever.

Forever.

 

 



Why, they're much bigger than one would think.

 

The fisherman would like you to know that he has

an impressive pair of buoys, too.

 

 



Once upon a time the world was young and the words

"mackerel" and "pudding" existed far, far away from one another.

 

One day, that all changed.

And then, whoever was responsible somehow thought the word fluffy would help.

 

Oh, and eggs, too.

 

 



These are the saddest diet beverages ever.

 

The one on the right is skim milk and orange pulp.

The one on the left is made with water, sherry extract,

and two beef bouillon cubes.

 

No, really.

 

Well, there's also celery in it. Oh, and SELF-LOATHING.

 

 



Ever wonder what that movie Carrie would have been like

if it had been cast with chickens instead of people

and also possibly entirely reconceived as a porno?

 

No? Well, does it help to know that now you'll never have to? No? Sorry.

 

 



You could eat this log.

Or you could stick your hand in a rusty kitchen grinder.

Yeah, have fun.

 

 



I have no idea what "shashlik" is.

All I know about this dish is that it's meat.

And that the meat's, uh... caucasian.

 

 



Um, I guess this is a salad best enjoyed at the house of

that one scary lady down the street who never leaves the house and

talks to her knicknacks.

 

I showed this card to a friend who said,

"What the hell's in that bowl-- bong water?!"

 

Is that why the ceramic animals are so drawn to it?

Is it their magical pond?

 

Why have they gathered? What do they want?

 

 



They call this "onion sauce" but it looks more like

the end of a snuff film to me.

Yep. Fish snuff. Die, fish, die.

 

 



The Soup is Inspiration.

The Soup is Love.

Smell the Soup.

 

When one first arrives here one may believe the Soup tastes like ass.

That is not so, my child.

The Soup is Inspiration and the Soup is Love.

Your name is now "Harmonia."

The Soup is Inspiration, and you do not want to leave.

The Soup is Love, and we have an electrified fence.

The Soup is Inspiration.

And the Soup is Love.

 

 



I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

 

I don't think you'll ever be.

None of us will.

No. No way.

 

 



We don't know who "Marcy" is, only that she thinks

"enchilada" is wacky Mexican talk for "shit on a shingle."

 

 



Um, where do I even begin here?

Which bowl is Siegfried's?

Which one is Roy's?

 

What is going on here? What? What is the meaning?

Of Jell-O, and peaches, and huge-ass ceramic cheetah, and paper flowers?

And... freaky dried pod thingies? What are those?

Should we smoke them? Have we been smoking them?

 

 

 

 



Yes, let's have these in brandy snifters.

Let's just tip our heads back and let the chunks slide in.

 

The time you spent eating these is time you'll want back at the very end of your life.

That's why they're served with a clock.

 

 



Sometimes mere adjectives for mackerel are not enough.

Sometimes mackerel is mackerel unto itself.

Sometimes you just have to let go.

Mackerelease yourself.

Embrace mackereality.

 

 



Mexican food is easy to make!

All you need is toast and quotation marks!

Just ask Marcy!

 

Marcy needs to be stopped.

 

I so do not understand the props here.

 

 



This is... um, it's... Uh.

 

Yeah. It's just...oh, God. And... the pig...

 

Okay. I am at a loss here. We all are.

 

 



I had no idea frankfurters could be so spectacular. Wow!

 

I would almost be willing to upholster a whole damn pineapple

with pork product just to be able to say I was serving Frankfurter Spectacular.

Say it with me: Frankfurter! Spectacular!

 

Why would you even want to eat this?

Why, when you could keep your mouth busy for hours

just by repeating the life-affirming phrase that is "Frankfurter Spectacular."

 

FRANKFURTER SPECTACULAR!

 

Thank you.