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J-Lo Butt Implants Explode! (no, seriously)

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by GamblersGrin, Apr 17, 2004.

  1. GamblersGrin

    GamblersGrin Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 24, 2003 Messages: 3,243 Likes Received: 16
    http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/...8186840004.html

    J.Lo-Butt Implants Explode!
    Tuesday April 13, 2004

    A woman who yearned to have a bottom as luscious and rounded as the rear end of pop star Jennifer Lopez has found her dreams blasted to smithereens -- after her butt implants exploded!

    Candy Jones- Davies, 22, vows to sue the hospital where surgeons allegedly pumped the implants so full of curve-creating air, they both blew sky-high -- right on the operating table.

    And she says a surgical nurse has agreed to testify in her attempt to collect $17.5 million for medical expenses, lost future wages and emotional pain and suffering.

    "She told me they had just put in the implants, when one of the surgeons -- she's not sure which one, but she knows what he said -- started saying, 'Well, if she wants J.Lo's butt, let's give it to her.' And they pumped more air into the implants. Then another one said, 'Come on, that's nothing, let's go for it.' And they just kept pushing the limit until it all just exploded."

    Jones-Davies, a receptionist from Pretoria, South Africa, says that before the butt blast, she was on the verge of signing a modeling contract with the talent agency where she works.

    "They told me if I got butt implants to look like J.Lo, I could be one of their top girls," she says.

    Instead, Jones-Davies not only suffered second- and third-degree burns to both cheeks, but because of tissue loss her behind is even smaller and flatter than before the surgery.

    "I'm flat as a board," says Jones-Davies. "No one's going to sign a fashion model who looks like an 80-year-old man from the back.

    "I'm lucky to have a job at all -- I can't sit for more than 20 minutes at a time before my backside gets numb and I get stabbing pains down my legs. I'm just lucky they let me take a lot of breaks at work, or this ugly can would be getting me canned."

    A hospital spokeswoman says Davies-Jones' doctors were using a new inflatable implant that adjusts to a custom-fitted size. She says the hospital may file a defective- product complaint against the manufacturer.

    She adds that Jones-Davies "must also bear some responsibility" for the fanny fiasco.

    "She told our doctors at the initial consultation that she wanted to 'out-J.Lo J.Lo' -- her exact words, I'm told," says the spokeswoman. "And with all due respect, she had a long way to go to even begin to have the firm, well-rounded proportions of Miss Lopez. If our doctors failed, it was in trying too hard to serve their patient.

    "And," she adds, "our surgeons' quick response actually minimized the damage to Miss Jones-Davies, who would have no bottom at all if not for their knowledge and skill."

    Davies-Jones angrily rejects that claim.

    "I might have said something like that, but they are doctors, and they should know how far to go before it gets dangerous," she says.

    "And I didn't think they'd pump me up so much I'd pop like a balloon at a kid's birthday party."
     
  2. Big Bruno

    Big Bruno Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2001 Messages: 2,472 Likes Received: 70
    Mmmmmmmmmm...I don't know....
     
  3. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    you've got to be shitting me....
     
  4. CAPiTA

    CAPiTA Member

    Joined: Apr 13, 2003 Messages: 667 Likes Received: 0
    It could've been worse. They could've pumped them up a little less than they did, and then the first time she sat down the implants would've popped in her pants. Shit would've been messy.
     
  5. synaps

    synaps Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 8, 2002 Messages: 1,644 Likes Received: 0
  6. gfreshsushi

    gfreshsushi Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 21, 2003 Messages: 2,244 Likes Received: 1
    what did she expect? she was having a FAKE ASS INSTALLED. it's god's way of telling her she's a moron.
     
  7. imported_YEAHMANWORD

    imported_YEAHMANWORD Member

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 985 Likes Received: 0
    did you guys realize that this was printed in the fucking WEEKLY WORLD NEWS.
     
  8. afterten

    afterten Member

    Joined: Jan 28, 2004 Messages: 263 Likes Received: 0
    uhh, they dont fill implants with air. they use ceiline (spelling?) or silicone or whatever.
     
  9. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    Yeah, hate to break it to you but the source is a joke news thing....
     
  10. InDY_500

    InDY_500 Veteran Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2002 Messages: 5,169 Likes Received: 67
    i feel ya...why they gonna put air in someone ass....thats some crazy stuff...
    is she one of those "I want a Famous Face people?"
     
  11. destroya

    destroya Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2002 Messages: 1,714 Likes Received: 1
    saline.
     
  12. High Priest

    High Priest Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 1, 2002 Messages: 4,928 Likes Received: 3
  13. timemachine

    timemachine Banned

    Joined: Mar 21, 2004 Messages: 773 Likes Received: 0
    dumb
    id like to see the before and after pics tho, to *ahem* compare...yes...compare the goods






    TE
     
  14. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
  15. PalestineOne

    PalestineOne Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 25, 2004 Messages: 1,177 Likes Received: 0
    white people are very impressed with asses arent they. shit, blacks and latinos see asses better than j.los every day. ummm...no offence to whites.
     
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