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Heavy’s List of Holiday grievances:

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by heavyLox, Dec 18, 2003.

  1. heavyLox

    heavyLox Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 2, 2002 Messages: 7,196 Likes Received: 17
    Heavy’s List of Holiday grievances:

    • I hate shopping for anything. I usually grab
    the first thing closest to the door of the

    • If one more Lady gets in my way, sucks
    her teeth, rolls eyes in my direction I WILL
    black out and wrap that fur around you
    neck so you eyes bulge out your head.

    • If one more store employee asks if I need
    ME SO I DON’T STEAL SHIT) I will burn the
    store down, after I get what I want of

    • I’ll toss an elbow or so if you try and invade
    my aisle space.

    • Lady I saw you knock the shit off the rack,
    Pick it up.

    • muther fucker I’m out shopping for shit,
    don’t ask me for donations for you fucking
    “high school basketball team”, this is
    Christmas not “save a team I’ve never
    heard of” time.

    • PLEASE let me call your store, and have
    you tell me You have item X in stock and
    when I get there tell me You never even
    carried it, let alone have it in stock. Fuck,
    that’s 25 cents for the call and an hour and
    a half of my life I’ll never get back thanks
    jack ass!

    Parking lot grievances:

    • Bitch you have a fucking turn signal, USE

    • Double parkers: I am not above carrying
    bananas, for your tail pipe. Find a spot and
    park the fucking car.

    • Its called a 3 point turn for a good reason,
    there is no need to turn a turn in to a public
    event, with acts and scenes and an
    intermission while you get out of the car to
    see if you have enough space.

    • We are very close to finding out if your cell
    phone still works crammed up your ass, get
    off the phone and drive like you have
    purpose in life.

    I love my fam. I love my friends. I love my lady.
    I love spending time with all of you, but why do I
    have to by you shit? You know I hate shopping.

    rant over.
  2. GucciCondom

    GucciCondom Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2003 Messages: 5,558 Likes Received: 168
    Thats why I goto the dollar store..and buy each family member one thing from the dollar store. Yahearddd
    (im dead serious too.)

  3. i11igul

    i11igul Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 5, 2003 Messages: 1,810 Likes Received: 0
    agreed, thats why, and i hate to say it, places like wallmart and kmart are nice becuz you can pick up all of the shit you have to get in on square acre, but most of them ive been to have all the above mentioned problems/annoyances, that its almost not worth showing my face:eek:
  4. imported_dowmagik

    imported_dowmagik Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 19, 2001 Messages: 1,904 Likes Received: 1
    i feel you on people knocking shit over and not picking it up. i worked for a major retail store for a couple years and to this day if i see someone make a mess in a store it pisses me off. have some god damn respect.
  5. DETO

    DETO Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,350 Likes Received: 154
    * deto throwin them boes oner*
  6. heavyLox

    heavyLox Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 2, 2002 Messages: 7,196 Likes Received: 17
    i think i need a personal shopper. When i blow up like Pea Dizzle, thats the first thing im gonna get, after an honest Accountant.
  7. ares

    ares Member

    Joined: Sep 17, 2002 Messages: 979 Likes Received: 8
    I truly hate when I get eyed by every fucking employee in the store. Walmart is the worst, I swear, when I go in there, they send a team out to follow me. Fucking douche bags.
  8. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    that's why there's Festivus for the rest of us, homie

    let us now begin the Airing of Grievances
    followed by the Feats of Strength
  9. heavyLox

    heavyLox Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 2, 2002 Messages: 7,196 Likes Received: 17
    ^^^ I just need the hand book and I'll swear off the Xmas crapola.

    Feats of Strength
  10. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
  11. johnny

    johnny Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Feb 15, 2003 Messages: 7,231 Likes Received: 16
    great list lox. gunlocks were made for this time of year.
  12. DETO

    DETO Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,350 Likes Received: 154
    i hate the buckle. :hatred:
  13. Nekro

    Nekro Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 19, 2003 Messages: 2,568 Likes Received: 1
    I don't mind shopping and I don't mind thinking of things for people, but christmas music makes me want to stab someone.

    Also at wal-mart there was the most annoying person going on the intercom saying "santa you have a call on line one; santa; call santa" in this horrible voice that made me want to strangle whoever was on the other end of that line.
  14. Hoblow

    Hoblow Senior Member

    Joined: May 12, 2003 Messages: 1,618 Likes Received: 12
    You think you guys got it bad? I work fulltime in a MAJOR retail store. I'm contemplating taking in some kind of blunt instrument next time i go to work, just in case people keep pushing me too far. Around this time of the year, my compassion for other members of the human race sinks to it's lowest point.

    And please try to remember, don't take all your shit out on the staff. If we're sold out of something, it's not our fault, if it costs too much, it's not our fault, if it takes too long, it's because we're schmoozing the chicks from ladies clothing, but most of the time, we can't do anything about those little fuckups. But if you really feel like screaming at someone, don't do it at the poor 15 year old casual or the tired fulltimer, ask politely to see the manager and rip the shit through them. Nothing would make my day better.
  15. krie

    krie Guest

    Shopping check out que - i hate having one small item in your hand, and you walk to see which isle you will choose, and there completely full with people that have a shopping cart full of gear, and you have to wait for their stupid ass's to hurry up