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twinky the kid

help needed from teh older heads, and possibly real talk from mero.

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so yeah, i been looking to get my own place for a while now.

ive just been blowing it off though.

now after hearing my lady's mom is moving out of the country and not taking her,

i feel a little more motivated because lets face it; i aint livin with my ma and pa and sharin a room with my lady.

 

thats fuckin corny.

 

so needless to say i now have some inspiration to get off my ass and actually get my life started.

 

basically im tryin to get back on track with all my shit, getting a job and a car again.

finishing school etc...

 

i already have "perfect" credit, so for the most part im not worried about loans and shit like that.

 

what i want to know from you older cats is basically what to expect, what to take care of first and what should always be top priority.

 

i would just ask my pops, but all he's gonna do is say i cant do shit for myself and how its a dumb idea.

 

discuss?

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Real estate right now is a buyers market, if you can afford a house I would suggest buying that before a car.

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Well, here's the truth-

 

If the first person you move out of the house with is your GF then chances are good that it's not going to go too well. Let your GF figure out her own situation. Don't get trapped in any obligations to her right now....if you're going to school I'd recommend staying at home, graduating and getting all that other stuff on track first, then worry about getting a place. If you're with her in a year after you got things together a little better then bring it up...but if you jump into this with all that on your plate, you're going to wind up being miserable and stressed out.

 

I know this is probably not what you want to hear but you gotta put first things first right now. Moving in with your GF is going to be nice at first but it's going to get old for both of you really quick if you rush into it and the timing is off.

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You should figure out a five year plan.

Where you want to be in your career, relationship, etc.

 

Don't pile on too many things at once.

Not saying that some people can't handle it, but the more things you have taking up your time..the more likely it is that you will slack on at least one of them.

Like if you are going to school full time, working full time, and trying to have a relationship...odds are one of them will suffer because it is almost impossible to have the energy or time to dedicate yourself 100% to everything.

 

You say you have awesome credit, but that doesn't mean that just because you CAN take out loans that you should.

If you don't have a job and are trying to get your own place, adding on a car loan payment seems like kind of a lot to put on your plate at once.

 

I don't know if you have money saved, but I would suggest trying to save some money before moving out.

Things come up and you never know when you will need to have some extra money around to cover something.

Not to mention that just to move into a new place is typically pretty expensive with all the deposits and turning on utilities and all of that.

 

Get a job.

 

Get a place that you can comfortably afford.

Don't go get the most expensive apartment/house out there because it is "ballin" if you yourself are not "ballin".

 

Save up for a downpayment on a car so you don't have to take out as large of a loan.

Get a car that is reliable and smart for you, not a car that you think is cool.

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i agree with everyone above

do some soul searching smoke some pot eat some mushrooms

figuere out what your about and get a strong sense of identity

i think thats the biggest challenge of adulthood really

once you have yourself figuered out its much easier for you to decide

how youd want to dedicate the rest of your life as a member of society

set goals, immediate ones, visualize yourself in the fiture and where youd really want to be

i myself would not feel comfortable floating around job to job from working stock at a pharmacy, to refinancing mortgages, to a seasonal job at old navy and racking polo underwear and silk shirts for side cash. BUT THATS ME

if the above is you that is def something to take into consideration as well

not that theres anything wrong with it

cus atleast if you werent into steady longterm situations

you can better commit to something that is you and be much more productive

than half heartedly pursue some shit youre not about because society told you it was productive

 

2cents

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if you can afford to get a place without a roommate, do it. and don't do something dumb like take out a fat loan for a car. you can get something reliable for under $5000

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yeah i definitely agree with everything said so far.

 

anbout not rushing it and how moving in together could be bad.

 

 

i have already thought about those things too.

 

to tell you the truth, if i dont take her in, she has no where else to go.

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you didnt come and try to fight me the other weekend so im going to assume you internet hate me anymore.

 

first suggestion (as mentioned before) is to not move out with the girlfriend. its important to have your own space for awhile and realize what it is to have all things that are yours, instead of a sort of joint custody. its also good for your head to live alone and know what it is to have a space to go to where you can empty out the world around you.

 

if you lived somewhere where a car wasnt necessary i would tell you to not get a car, but the public trans system there is laughable, grab an old honda that will be easily paid off so you dont have bills and bills and bills.

 

start paying bills before you have to start paying bills. what i mean by that is make a mock monthly budget and figure out how much you will need each month. put that money away for a couple months and dont touch it to see if you feel like you are able to live to your standards while also paying the bills.

 

get a small apartment with the basics (a/c is obviously necessary out there) dont get dragged in to some super cool place to live because it is downtown and has stainless steel cabinets.

 

start cooking for yourself now. buy yourself a cookbook, try out several recipes. you dont want to get caught at whataburger or sonics every day.

 

try to get an apartment close to where you work, you wont need a car in this case.

 

you may need a co signer for the apartment. even though you have awesome credit a lot of places wont even consider you if you have no rental history.

 

thats all i can think of.

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Tell her to grow the fuck up and get a job and take care of herself.

 

If you move in with her just because she has nowhere else to go, you will eventually end up resenting her for it.

 

Like shai said, living together is pretty stressful.

This is the first time I have been able to live with someone and it not drive me completely insane.

Even though most every dude I have ever been with has supported me financially in some way.

I typically didn't pay rent, but my money would go toward buying food and beer and weed and going out and stuff like that.

I would still end up resenting people because I would go to work and then come home and have to cook and clean up after grown men.

It put a big strain on some good friendships because my friends stayed with us and took advantage of my kindness.

But that is beside the point.

 

Wait until you have a super solid relationship before even considering living together.

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Well, here's the truth-

 

If the first person you move out of the house with is your GF then chances are good that it's not going to go too well. Let your GF figure out her own situation. Don't get trapped in any obligations to her right now....if you're going to school I'd recommend staying at home, graduating and getting all that other stuff on track first, then worry about getting a place. If you're with her in a year after you got things together a little better then bring it up...but if you jump into this with all that on your plate, you're going to wind up being miserable and stressed out.

 

I know this is probably not what you want to hear but you gotta put first things first right now. Moving in with your GF is going to be nice at first but it's going to get old for both of you really quick if you rush into it and the timing is off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word.....How long have you been with this girl? How old are you? The younger you are, the less chances you have of shit working out in the long run - just laying out real talk from an older head.

 

 

 

 

 

#1 - Girl or not, FINISH SCHOOL my dude. School is number one priority, the older you get the harder it is going to be to finish - know that. A degree helps you earn more loot in the long run. Go to school with a plan, don't think school itself is gonna guarantee a great job.

 

#2 - Keep your good credit in tact, don't fall for the credit cards and unnecessary spending. Save your loot and buy a pre-owned, inspected car. That alone should save you thousands.

 

#3 - Start off by renting modestly and save your money for a purchase in a few yrs. The economy should still be hurting enough to help you buy a spot for less, especially if you have good credit (that's all banks really care about right now).

 

#4 - Eat in as much as possible, I don't know if you're from a big city or not, but in a big city you can spend hundreds in bullshit just walking around buying anything from food to a twelve pack of socks from some nigga.

 

#5 - Network, get to know people, build connects. You never know who will help you get that job you'll really need 5 years from now.

 

 

 

 

Lastly.

 

 

 

 

WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM AT ALL TIMES AND PULL OUT. DON'T LET LOVE BLIND YOU, KID. SHIT WILL GET REALLY REAL, REALLY QUICK.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If that shit doesn't work for you, then follow these carefully:

 

 

 

 

 

Rule nombre uno: never let no one know

How much, dough you hold, cause you know

The cheddar breed jealousy specially

If that man fucked up, get your ass stuck up

 

 

Number two: never let em know your next move

Dont you know bad boys move in silence or violence

Take it from your highness (uh-huh)

I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for they bricks and chips

 

 

Number three: never trust no-bo-dy

Your momsll set that ass up, properly gassed up

Hoodie to mask up, shit, for that fast buck

She be layin in the bushes to light that ass up

 

 

Number four: know you heard this before

Never get high, on your own supply

 

 

Number five: never sell no crack where you rest at

I dont care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce

 

 

Number six: that God damn credit, dead it

You think a crackhead payin you back, shit forget it

 

 

Seven: this rule is so underrated

Keep your family and business completely seperated

Money and blood dont mix like two dicks and no bitch

Find yourself in serious shit

 

 

Number eight: never keep no weight on you

Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jobs too

 

 

Number nine shoulda been number one to me

If you aint gettin bags stay the fuck from police (uh-huh)

If niggaz think you snitchin aint tryin listen

They be sittin in your kitchen, waitin to start hittin

 

 

Number ten: a strong word called consignment

Strictly for live men, not for freshmen

If you aint got the clientele say hell no

Cause they gon want they money rain sleet hail snow

Follow these rules youll have mad bread to break up

If not, twenty-four years, on the wake up

Slug hit your temple, watch your frame shake up

Caretaker did your makeup, when you pass

Your girl fucked my man jake up, heard in three weeks

She sniffed a whole half of cake up

Heard she suck a good dick, and can hook a steak up

Gotta go gotta go, more pies to bake up.............

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^^ realest shit ive read

 

time flies

im already 2 years done with school

and in another 2 years ill start working

starting at 46,000

and jumping up to 56 when i complete my masters

skies the limit

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yeah i definitely agree with everything said so far.

 

anbout not rushing it and how moving in together could be bad.

 

 

i have already thought about those things too.

 

to tell you the truth, if i dont take her in, she has no where else to go.

 

Aw, man...you were doing great up until the end...and brother, have I fallen for that one before.

 

You know what she needs to do? She needs to get a job or borrow some cash, then get on Craigslist and find a room/studio somewhere. Do that shit for herself. It's nice that you want to help her out, but the biggest trap you can fall into is thinking that it's something that you HAVE to do for her. You need to get your shit together before you can take care of anyone else. Keep telling yourself that and her that and DON'T GET SUCKED IN. If she cuts out on you then she's a trifling bitch who wants everything handed to her. It's sort of a win-win if you look at it a certain way...and right now you're in a good position to be selfish. You don't get many of those, take full advantage and don't feel guilty.

 

Believe me when I say that I've gotten burned thinking "I gotta help this chick out" before. I put on the cape and played Captain Save-A-Hoe when I should have been looking out for number one.

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I thought you were moving to Japan?

hahaha.

 

No, but really, you're young, your girl is younger. Don't rush into getting a place with her, as shai discussed. You've talked plenty of times about problems between the two of you, now imagine what happens when both of you live together and have serious issues. Or even worse what happens when you split and you're left trying to figure out how to pay bills, how you're splitting up the shit you bought together, etc. It might sound dumb to you right now, but its shit you gotta bare in mind when you're thinking about getting a place. If you get roommates, remember that just because you're good friends doesn't mean you'll like living with them. Someone who pays their share of the bills on time is a much more desirable trait in a roommate than a good friend who is going to blow their money on drugs and booze. Sure, it might be fun for awhile, but if you're serious about shit, paying bills in a timely manner has gotta be a priority

 

Also, instead of loans, consider living with your parents for awhile longer and save money while working. Moving into your first place is no cheap matter. On top of rent, utilities, etc, you gotta remember that unless your parents have a bunch of furniture that they don't use, you're going to need to be buying shit like that. It can add up quickly just buying little things, even if you are getting them for cheap.

 

On the topic of a car, unless you need it, you probably don't want to be throwing that into the financial equation of new place + school. If you want to finish school, definitely put that as a priority over a vehicle. If you really need a vehicle to get to your job/school/whatever, look for a cheap beater, nothing fancy. The nicer the car, the more you're going to have to pay for insurance too, which is just another good reason not to get a car. If you're able to buy it fully, you still have insurance payments. If you can't buy it outright, you have car and insurance payments to deal with.

 

 

In terms of priorities, I highly suggest figuring out what you want to do with school first, then look for a job that can accommodate your school hours. Worry about a place once you have those figured out. If you're more worried about moving out than you are about school, get the job first then work school into there, but doing that can definitely limit your class options if you get slapped with certain hours and then can't adjust them.

 

/end long reply

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Twinky, listen to these people^^. My little brother is about to move into a townhouse with his girl, who would have no other options if it weren't for moving into a place with him. He's about to learn some things about life, that's for sure. Also, 'awesome credit' can turn to 'shit credit' very fast if you don't do the right things. DONT spend money on credit cards for dumb little shit like going out to eat, or a pair of shoes, etc. Only use that shit for emergencies, or necessary things that you need now like brakes or tires on your car. On the subject of cars, like others said, if you dont need one, don't bother with getting one. A car is one thing that can eat up money.

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Oh yeah...if your GF is used to "a certain standard of living" then you can kiss your savings and your credit goodbye. When you're out there for the first time and you're struggling to figure all this out, the last thing you'll want is to have your GF saying shit like "I can't be walking around in fourth-quarter kicks, daddy...I need some flash for these feet of mine for when we go to the club." Trust me, you will lose your motherfucking mind.

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yeah were actually arguing right now about this whole deal, and im ready to tell her to fuck off and do her own thing.

 

idk wtf im thinking right now.

 

 

and...

 

 

you didnt come and try to fight me the other weekend so im going to assume you internet hate me anymore.

 

 

 

 

LOLWUT

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i told you in your thread about children to come and see me at first fridays.

 

it may have gotten bahleeted before you read that though.

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wait a second...is twinky the dude that the other week was saying he is ready to have a kid? or am i confusing him with somebody else?

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we were supposed to have a brawl?

 

i was not notified about this.

 

i thought that was the kind of things dudes got pm'd for.

 

what happened was i wasnt trying to fight you, i was just being real with you. you got mad about it so i told you if you are angry about it stop by the first fridays show we are having.

 

i assumed you had read it.

 

 

i also gave great advice right after i said that. too bad you didnt see it.

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yes. also the one who made a thread about how he thought his girlfriend was cheating on him with some other hipster, if i'm not mistaken

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jesus christ, you must have been delusional as fuck if you thought you could handle a kid and you're now on here asking people for advice about moving out of your parents house.

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what happened was i wasnt trying to fight you, i was just being real with you. you got mad about it so i told you if you are angry about it stop by the first fridays show we are having.

 

i assumed you had read it.

 

 

i also gave great advice right after i said that. too bad you didnt see it.

 

i missed it then.

 

what did i get mad about?

 

im sure it had to do with the having a kid thing.

 

either way im not the type of dude to let internet shit interfere with my real life.

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