yo bloodfart

[HESHIANDET]

i know your seeking's homie but in his absence id just like to say your posts have been cracking me up this morning.

 

|| no hetero

[Mr.Maker]

sure is quite in here.

[Theo Huxtable.]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Vagina+Blood+Fart

[twinky the kid]

sooooooooooo......

[HESHIANDET]

i didnt see any of your fucking names in the title of this thread

[blood fart]

I would like to thank everyone who made this possible.

 

Namely, myself.

[Some1]

BF whats up with that bike? I am boutta be down to get it I have the mirror I am gonna mount it to need teh infoz for which to purchase...

[blood fart]

You are mounting a bike to a mirror?

As some sort of hood artistic statement?

 

Okay.

 

My mommy is hassling me about selling it soon.

Because I am going to pick up a new BMX this afternoon.

I will tell her to get off my case and let it sit in the back yard for a little longer.

Until you mail me the money to mail it to you.

Just hurry up with it already.

I need money.

 

I was talking to one of my brother's good friends last night about my situation.

And how I am just trying to find dudes that want to make out and let me sleep over at their house.

He said I am funny.

I said that dudes don't want to make out with funny.

[Some1]

Yes hood art status I am painting the frame black and the spokes whatever else is red hanging it on a wall in my room on a mirror with this elaborate frame. I am just bored and have been feeling the need for being crafty-

 

/no this guy...

 

I know I need the infoz to send...

[twinky the kid]

why dont you sleep at toe cutters house?

you guys can snuggle.

while he soils himself.

[blood fart]

I have a few dudes who let me have sleep-overs at their places.

Some friends.

Some more than friends.

There isn't much difference between the two.

I kiss them all on the mouth.

 

It just doesn't happen as often as I would like.

I am pretty much completely over sleeping on my mom's couch.

Shit is bammer.

It makes me have super wack dreams.

And everyone wakes me up a million times each morning.

 

I could start sleeping on my niece's bunkbed.

I don't know which is more pitiful.

A grown woman sleeping on her mom's couch.

Or a grown woman sleeping on a 5 year old kid's bunkbed.

 

That is where I am at.

I should be moving out soon.

If everyone doesn't flake on me.

 

Since this is my thread, I guess I can talk about myself as much as I want.

That is always pretty awesome to me.

I just woke up and am only on my second cup of coffee.

Just wait.

Patiently.

I will come back and blow your minds with my talk.

 

Or not.

Don't get your hopes too high.

I am only human.

I never claimed to be perfect.

[twinky the kid]

I am only human.

with a robot vagina.

 

*fixed

im sorry im bored.

[blood fart]

Actually, there was this rumor going around for a while that I was a robot.

Due to not needing much sleep.

Among various other robot-like qualities I have.

 

It was decided that I was a robot draped in the skin of innocent newborns.

Soft little Asian babies.

 

It was the only way I could figure out to make having the softest skin in the universe be metal.

 

 

I am so Mexican that my sweat smells like a burrito.

I am grossing myself out right now.

[twinky the kid]

damn.

i could go for a QT chicken taquito.

right about.

 

 

 

now.

 

i now have 1,666 posts.

i find that slightly metal.

[Theo Huxtable.]

i imagine you sounding gringo with no spanish accent at all.

 

but envisioning you smelling like a sweaty burrito is funny.

[c-top]

i want a burrito.

[blood fart]

I sound like a redneck.

The drunker I get, the worse I sound.

By the end of the night, I sound as if I have just left a Klan rally.

 

I have had police men ask me where I was from.

Because I sound so country.

I blame in on Texas prisons.

They do that to everyone.

 

My brother just came home.

And told me to open a window in here.

Because I am stinking the room out.

I smell like a dirty taqueria.

 

Ouch.

[Theo Huxtable.]

i'm fascinated with people that don't look like how they sound. for instance, i dated this cambodian girl with a southern/country accent. she was from north carolina.

 

and i knew this korean dude from new orleans that had that new orleans cajun-country accent.

[the.crooked]

I sound like a redneck.

The drunker I get, the worse I sound.

By the end of the night, I sound as if I have just left a Klan rally.

 

I have had police men ask me where I was from.

Because I sound so country.

I blame in on Texas prisons.

They do that to everyone.

 

My brother just came home.

And told me to open a window in here.

Because I am stinking the room out.

I smell like a dirty taqueria.

 

Ouch.

 

My accent comes out the more drunk I get.

 

 

I don't even really have one. I just like having one when I'm wasted.

 

 

Last night a hispanic friend of mine said she smelled like tortillas, I tried not to laugh.

[twinky the kid]

people tell me i smell like beans.

and peanut butter also.

[the.crooked]

People tell me I smell like awesome.

[blood fart]

I don't know how people would expect me to sound, based on my appearance.

 

I sound pretty dudical most of the time though.

Always with the..

"totally"

"to the max"

"dude"

"bro"

"shredding"

"ripping"

"brutal"

"crucial"

"lamers"

"janky"

"gnarly"

"radical"

"totally awesome"

 

Things like that.

I can't help it.

 

 

I have a pretty nice voice though.

Velvet smooth.

I used to do a radio show and would get wasted and talk sweet nothings to teenage boys.

This was when I was in my early 20's.

 

Ill Bill said I have a voice made for radio.

And that I should read for books on tape.

[the.crooked]

My voice makes speakers shake on phones.

 

 

No one ever understands what I am saying on phones. Subsequently it is a technology I despise.

[blood fart]

Are you Barry White?

[the.crooked]

No, I think it is just the different tones in my voice.

 

Whatever dissonance they create is exacerbated by the way phones clip off audio spectrum.

 

 

I have always had a low voice though.

[twinky the kid]

your tay zonday right?

[Fondles]

No, I think it is just the different tones in my voice.

 

Whatever dissonance they create is exacerbated by the way phones clip off audio spectrum.

 

 

I have always had a low voice though.

 

 

that was well described.

 

props to you sir!

[blood fart]

I have a low voice.

Most of the time.

Except when I get excited.

Then I sound like a little girl.

 

I got kicked out of this band once because the other singer was sad that my voice was deeper and more metal than his.

Growwwwwls.

 

I should shower soon.

Let The Day Begin.

 

Really though, I think everyone that appreicates my presence on here should draw me something.

Wiener drawings.

Things of the like.

I will hang them in my new house, when I get it.

And maybe send you back something in return.

If this new idea I am having works out as I am hoping it will.

[twinky the kid]

well i dont feel like drawing weiners, but im going to go eat a truckstop taquito in your favor.

el bloodofarto.

[Fondles]

"For some reason, I don't know why, I just kindaaaa sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks."

 

"What?"

 

"I draw pictures of dicks."

 

"Like a man dick?"