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Movie Anti-Recommendation Thread


fermentor666

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Fucking sucks, worst movie ever.

 

 

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Lazy-eyed tripe.

 

 

 

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Watered-down splatterpunk for the mentally-challenged Abercrombie and Fitch masses.

 

 

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Hollywood B-star wankfest. "MMM, OH CLICHES AND STEREOTYPES, MM I LOVE YOU SO MUCH". Brendan Frasier, Sandra Bullock, and Tony Danza, 'nuff said.

 

 

 

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Wishes so bad it was 12 Monkeys.

 

 

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It's like Doom, but without the whole thing about Hell. Basically like playing a third-rate FPS game from 1996, when they still used sprites instead of polygons.

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I dont need a thread to tell me i shouldn't watch these movies, TONY DANZA?! THE ROCK? BERNIE FUCKING MAC?!?

It should have been quite apparent from the get-go, unless you were some how suckered into watching them. It happens, I usually get suckered into watching terrible movies at the dollar-theatre.

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I dont need a thread to tell me i shouldn't watch these movies, TONY DANZA?! THE ROCK? BERNIE FUCKING MAC?!?

It should have been quite apparent from the get-go, unless you were some how suckered into watching them. It happens, I usually get suckered into watching terrible movies at the dollar-theatre.

 

 

Cable means 60+ movie channels. These things come on often, and yes, I watch a lot of movies. Shit, I don't need people to tell me that the Godfather was a good film, but they still do it.

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NO MAN, NO! Hostel was bad BECAUSE it WAS a Van Wilder-type movie. All they did was add in some really tame torture scenes. They cut away EVERY TIME someone got tortured! If they showed ANYTHING at all in terms of pain infliction, they would cut away to a close up of what was obviously not a real human. And I hate that "Scariest Movie in a Decade" shit on the DVD box, it's so fucking wrong on so many levels. I hate Eli Roth, he lives close to me and I need to find out where exactly so I can break his hands.

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This came on cable the other day. Imagine everything that you hated about Kids and add Hollywood gloss and cliches and there you have it. Fucking terrible and it made me feel like a pedophile, kind of like this movie:

 

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The only saving grace of this film was the very last scene in the courtroom, watching those slimebag, scum of the earth kids get their comeuppance in front of a shocked, oblivious town who just had their innocence destroyed.

 

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Would have been a halfway decent B-rate monster film on a Hollywood budget if it weren't for the ridiculous shite ending that is so absurd and anti-climactic.

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If you've ever wondered what Kurt Cobain would have felt like after coming down on heroin, then getting hit in the face with a brick rendering him incapable of not only being unable to form complete sentances, but unable to form single words, then being surrounded by gay sex, this is the movie for you. It's two hours of all this and nothing more. Oh, and he lives in a castle in the woods.

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Why did I even bother wasting bandwidth to download this?

 

 

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When I was a teenager, I loved The Crow so much that I went to see this sequel on the first showing of the first day of it's release. If this movie didn't completely destroy any ability of mine to feel emotion, I would have cried for four hours. I then watched the third one while recovering from having my tonsils removed, and while it was horrible, it was still better than the second one. Pain included.

 

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I haven't seen this, but just looking at the box cover at Blockbuster makes me feel sick to my stomach. When I start to think about the possibility of actually being forced to watch it, I start violently retching like Rutger Hauer from A Clockwork Orange.

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