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Parted Ways

i shat my pants earlier today

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i don't know why.

 

i was lying down on my bed talking to a friend on my mobile then all of a sudden i had the urge to fart.* so i let it out forgetting about earlier. it felt gooey and warm.

 

"OH SHIT, I FUCKING SHAT ON MYSELF!"

"that's nice to hear. i'll talk to you later, bye."

 

then i thought to myself, "god i hope i won't get my bed dirty trying to get off of it."

 

so i'm in the bathroom and took off my underwear and went ahead and shat the rest of the diarrhea out in the toilet. this was the first time i had to wipe feces off a good portion of my butt.

 

i thought it was pretty funny. the first thing that came to mind was that i thought my body was jacked up because of the paint fumes. i then remembered i don't paint a lot. my family thinks it's becasue i drank beer.

 

* i had the urge to fart a few hours earlier when i was half asleep but it felt like i was going to shit myself if i let it go. so i held it in.

 

Boy Sets Fire - White Wedding Dress

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Originally posted by King_Krook

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

 

ok maybe i exagerated a lil but that is DEFINATLY one of the funniest things i've read in a LONG time:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

:king:

:lol: :lol: sick!!

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Originally posted by Parted Ways

the first thing that came to mind was that i thought my body was jacked up because of the paint fumes. i then remembered i don't paint a lot.

 

:)

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nah see, i've been painting for almost two years now. i usually paint in well ventilated areas so i hardly smell the fumes.and if i did, i'd just back off. but i don't know/

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how can you not smell it? i've painted on open lines, came back the next afternoon and still could smell it.

 

*ventilator smiley*

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Originally posted by Vanity

how can you not smell it? i've painted on open lines, came back the next afternoon and still could smell it.

 

*ventilator smiley*

like i said, i hardly paint.

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Originally posted by Daze One Million

shat* ;)

 

 

 

not unless he was talking past tense

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Originally posted by King_Krook

Poo-Poo Platter anyone

there's a pu-pu platter at zippy's :)

 

anyway, i took probably 6 quick diarrhea sessions after i made this thread. :o

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ive done that alot.

 

disney land when i was like 5. i just got off space mountain and i thought i was just gonna fart. but no i shitted.

 

also at church i thought it would be just a fart again. but no it wasnt i had to go commando

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yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

 

man this weekend sucked i took a crap at my cousins house and it was like a fuckin log. i flushed before using any paper and it still got clogged.

 

so before i could use plunger i had to wipe. so i do. then i take nother crap while toilet is still plugged(bad move). like usually the water would just slowly drain, but it didnt. i was in the bathroom for like 5 hours and you could here the swoosh blsdf swosh sound from the plunger.

 

when i was through i was sweaty, covered to my knees in shit water

smelled like bathroom and still didnt fix the toilet.

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yea it is but it sucked. i had to clean crap mixed in with shit water off the floor and for some reason there was like this red food thing i must of eaten. i had to clean the floor twice cuz i flushed twice whlie checking if the toilet worked,

 

 

 

it didnt. later my dads like (this is translatin from konglish)

 

ok eat this (watermelon) it will make your poo softer. god the toilets never been clogged like that before. you should go crap at least everyday. poo is poison, its bad for your body if its in too long."

 

yea i go about once a week, but i have my reasons.

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i care little about what you said.

 

im just gonna post........takin a crapfactory factoryworker

 

workerbee beeitches itching balm balmy beach beach tan tanning salon salon hair hair dye dye u faggots for anyone whos actually read the inane crap i post

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Originally posted by the A squad

i care little about what you said.

 

im just gonna post........takin a crapfactory factoryworker

 

workerbee beeitches itching balm balmy beach beach tan tanning salon salon hair hair dye dye u faggots for anyone whos actually read the inane crap i post

 

 

damn whats up your ass? ;)

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ur mom!!!

 

 

 

 

oooohhhhhhh burned........................yea i hate it when people say ur mom.....damn its just reallly annoying. damn i hate myself now.

 

thanks a lot i hope your happy

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