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yoda's bitch

Bunnies on Acid

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This one will be long...my post atleast.

Just got back from bombing...

Amped, and feel the need to get this shit out

I wrote a novel, the main character is a writer

I'm not doing anything with the novel yet, just sittin on it

And I'm thinking what the fuck...I'll post the first little bit and see what

anyone thinks...the story is complex, its about a hundred and fifty pages long,

but you can tell alot about a book by the first little bit.

What I guess I need is honesty and people to REAM me if they feel like it,

this is the perfect place for getting reamed...no?

Ream on.

But what I really want to know, is if you feel like reading more.

 

Here it is....

 

Awakening (chapter 1)

 

A drop of something warm and wet oozed down the bridge of Little Bunny's nose, as he lay snug on his Sealy Posturepedic.

He began to stir.

Dream reality gave way to real reality.

And then he wondered,

Why the fuck's that shit warm?

He lay still for a hot second.

Open your eyes kid…open your eyes.

He listened to himself,

And then he was left with one more thing to wonder…

His room looked the same,

It was dark.

The walls were black and eyegasm inspiring,

Filled with art of every kind, flix of his work, favorite writer's, some random old skool styles that first caught his eye back in the day.

The full-length antique mirror his grandmother gave him that use to belong to HER mother stood in the corner.

He remembered originally wondering why she gave such a thing to a kid his age, right before he tagged it with a Sharpie.

He remembered his mom's feeble attempts to buff it off.

He liked his mirror.

 

But back to his wondering…

Little Bunny wondered why everything was faded bloody-blue purple this morning.

 

Reaching up with the back of his paw,

He wriggled his wrist into an eye socket-

And tried to wipe away the hue.

No wonder it looks like someone squished Barney and creamed his gory fuckin carcass all over my room.

His wrist now sported one of those tie-dye hippie-shit numbers he'd always fuckin hated.

"What the FUCK?"

Sitting up slow he brought his head to his paws-

And tried to remember ANYTHING about last night.

Fast forward hit the scene and in one tail-trailing zip speed motion

He was over in front of the antique-painted mirror…and lifted his head.

 

Horror.

Gore.

Manic flashes of disemboweled road kill,

AFTER tire rubber implodes the animal's head…

Eyes slammed shut.

He pulled his eyes shut so tight that they buckled in quivering waves.

He kept em shut.

But the image was burned into his sensors and sat heavy on his brain.

The image may have been even more intense with his eyes shut.

He wondered about that too.

Slowly the eyelid skin retreated, and he

took a good solid look.

Senses overloaded…

Feels like the time I stuck a fork in that baby-bunny-killing electrical outlet.

 

O.k., maybe not quite as bad.

 

But close.

 

The silence of his room felt as loud as the Midnight Express running the track between the pink centers of his floppy ears, and beyond.

And there, bloodied on his forehead, were the words

 

Generation X.

 

Terror-stricken little eyes fixated on his mangled face.

Trippin. I'm just trippin.

 

The letters were jagged and completely lacking in style.

He started ruling out possibilities:

It couldn't have been Nate-

Even if he DID feel like being sick and cruel like that, he would have shaved off the forehead fur first,

He wouldn't have left a crusty, matted pile of blood and ink on my face.

Besides, it would have fucked up his needle.

Unless NATE was that fucked up…

Nah.

Couldn't be.

Besides, this went way beyond the time he inked Floppy Bob's ass with the words Faggot Thumper.

At least HE could put his pants on.

Plus, Nate's my best friend.

And BESIDES all that shit-

Why the fuck would he write Generation X?

Why the FUCK would ANYONE write Generation X on someone's forehead?

It's not even art.

It's psychotic chicken scratch.

 

And just as Little Bunny's brain was about to take flight from the manic run-through of feverish thoughts,

He heard the click of a disengaging doorknob,

And saw through his mind's eye,

The horror on his mother's face before her body turned to stone and fell shattering on the floor.

The door began to open, and he turned his head to face her,

And witness the unavoidable event.

 

Her eyes caught his after she quickly scanned his room.

"You know, I TOLD you to clean this shit hole up…

you KNOW I'm having company tonight!"

 

Little Bunny's eyes moved to a disagreeable pink curler that lay dangling amongst the many others that hugged her fuzzy head.

He always hated the fact that his mother wore extensions-he wanted to rip out that dangling curler.

There was always a dangling curler.

He hated all of them.

His eyes moved back to hers.

She was waiting for a response.

He was waiting for a dramatic scene straight outta King Kong.

It never happened.

She just rolled her eyes, spun around on her floppy white feet and disappeared out of his doorway,

Slamming the door behind her.

 

He turned again to look in the mirror-

Mesmerized.

And Little Bunny wondered again,

While fixated by the mangled mess he use to call his face-

Why so often it was that he saw,

What no one else seemed able to see.

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Originally posted by ASER1NE

umm

 

Come on Aser1ne

yoda's bitch here...

more than an ummm?

What about a fuck that its bunk?

Or a maybe I'd want to hear more...

Just not any time soon?

 

I know, if I posted my picture under

the "would you hit it thread"

I'd prolly get more feedback...

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Guest imported_Tesseract

I'll be perfect honest, i dont dig it that much, but i really dig the idea that you're writing a novel. If i had something to say i'd say that maybe you need a plot that isnt so self centered, creating a different character than yourself, or, if you want to keep it that way you should get deeper into the character...i'm not trying to be salty at all but from what i read thats what i'd like to see. Anyway, keep it uphttp://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'>

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Originally posted by Tesseract

I'll be perfect honest, i dont dig it that much, but i really dig the idea that you're writing a novel. If i had something to say i'd say that maybe you need a plot that isnt so self centered, creating a different character than yourself, or, if you want to keep it that way you should get deeper into the character...i'm not trying to be salty at all but from what i read thats what i'd like to see. Anyway, keep it uphttp://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'>

 

I appreciate the response very much..

for the record though...L.B. isn't me,

I'm a chic first of all, he's a guy and lives a different lifestyle in many ways than I do, not to mention the fact that he's a rabbit.

and the plot...is still a mystery as far as the reader goes from as much as

I've laid down here,

but that's actually good that you think its self-centered,

its supposed to be reflections, like it IS me really

Thanks for the feedback...no salt felt.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

haha, i'm glad you took it like i meant it. Anyway...yeah i didnt thought you were a bunny in the first place:)

All books are somehow self centered, i mean anything written by someone can only have reference to personal views and experiences. It maybe that the best way to express that stuff is to try to leave your self out of it.

Anyway, i'd like to see where that goes, post more please...i wish i could post my shit but that involves translation, being the euro fuck i am, anyway. May the force be with you:)

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Guest ilikeskulls.

ughhh....i'm too drunk to read all of this...your mom is a bunny on acid...stupid drug adddicted bunnies

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Guest willy.wonka

"g", i hope "yoda's bitch" doenst get on my case.

 

i just felt like i was on acid seeing myself as a bunny....i kinda got lost...

 

 

ok reread it...i now know you saw yourself as a bunny..????

did you write that on acid?

 

well,

it was definately acid all right...:lick:

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Originally posted by shameless self promotion

ok ok ok ok....seems pretty cool, im diggin it...

 

Are you hot by the way?

 

;)

 

I don't wanna shamelessly promote myself or anything,

but yes I am hot.

Or I could be FUCKIN busted with teeth like this guy:D

and you might never know...

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Re: "g", i hope "yoda's bitch" doenst get on my case.

 

Originally posted by willy.wonka

i just felt like i was on acid seeing myself as a bunny....i kinda got lost...

 

 

ok reread it...i now know you saw yourself as a bunny..????

did you write that on acid?

 

well,

it was definately acid all right...:lick:

 

Nah, I didn't actually write it on acid,

i wrote 'bunnies on acid' as the subject (but its NOT the title of the book)

prolly cause half the book takes place inside of an acid trip

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Originally posted by Tesseract

haha, i'm glad you took it like i meant it. Anyway...yeah i didnt thought you were a bunny in the first place:)

All books are somehow self centered, i mean anything written by someone can only have reference to personal views and experiences. It maybe that the best way to express that stuff is to try to leave your self out of it.

Anyway, i'd like to see where that goes, post more please...i wish i could post my shit but that involves translation, being the euro fuck i am, anyway. May the force be with you:)

 

if you seriously want to read more let me know and I can send

you more personally...I'm getting ready to have people read it, no one's read the whole thing yet, plus i can't really post where it all goes on this site, its a whole book.

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Guest --zeSto--
Originally posted by Tesseract

someone can only have reference to personal views and experiences. It maybe that the best way to express that stuff is to try to leave your self out of it.

 

well put for a 'euro fuck' !

And I couldn't agree more!

 

I seems that every person believes that their life would

translate really well into a story. Most aptemts at the

'great american novel' end up becoming the 'dull midwestern autobiography'.

And dont even dare try to write a screenplay about all the fun you

had in days gone by. Dont even start!

 

but to dissagre with the 'euro fuck'...

A good writer can transcend their personal world,

and create interesting and imaginative characters.

Hemmingway wrote the story of a bullfight from the bull's point of view.

Sure most english teachers say "Write what you know",

But that doesn't mean, "Only write about what you already know".

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by yoda's bitch

 

if you seriously want to read more let me know and I can send

you more personally...I'm getting ready to have people read it, no one's read the whole thing yet, plus i can't really post where it all goes on this site, its a whole book.

 

 

I'm a sucka for bunny tales:) Seriously, i'm honoured...and interested, hit me on hypercube101@yahoo.com or use the aim on my profile, thanx for sharing!

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I dig it, and I like the fact that this story can go so many places from here. a friend of mine used to write intros like this and get all his friends to make up other endings. I totally like it. The characters have definite style. Feel free to be more descriptive about sensations, if this is really a bunny acid trip. Touch sound and smell are important as well as sight.

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Guest imported_Tesseract
Originally posted by --zeSto--

but to dissagre with the 'euro fuck'...

A good writer can transcend their personal world,

and create interesting and imaginative characters.

Hemmingway wrote the story of a bullfight from the bull's point of view.

Sure most english teachers say "Write what you know",

But that doesn't mean, "Only write about what you already know".

 

Actually we dont have an argue there, dirty Canuck!:)

Thats what i mean...when i'm saying leaving your self out i suggest that still you can only be yourself without being personal or even knowing it...Kafka is the best example i can think of...being a cockroach was never so personal:cool:

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Originally posted by --zeSto--

 

I seems that every person believes that their life would

translate really well into a story.

 

but to dissagre with the 'euro fuck'...

A good writer can transcend their personal world,

and create interesting and imaginative characters.

Hemmingway wrote the story of a bullfight from the bull's point of view.

Sure most english teachers say "Write what you know",

But that doesn't mean, "Only write about what you already know".

 

I think there's a good story behind everyone's existence...

I'd hope so anyway. Otherwise there's no point in being here.

Even if it turns out to be crap on paper...maybe that's just cause it wasn't written right.

Maybe we're all just a buncha books on the shelf of someone else's mind

anyhow

 

I like the insight though and its good, cause some of the scenes in the book

I knew nothing about and have had to research

Hemmingway huh?

In the words of Doc Holiday...

It appears that 'zesto's' an educated man...

now I really hate him

 

(then I kick your ass with the shotglass slingin scene!)

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I thought the thread would have stupid pictures of wierd looking bunnies..

 

The concept of a bunny.. on acid.. who writes is interesting..

Not really what I like to read but pretty cool none the less ;)

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Guest --zeSto--

there's an interesting story behind most people.

 

I'm not really interested in some Soccer Mom's crowning achievement.

Or some middle aged man's homerun back in college.

Sure some stories work out incredible well

(read: Andre Langevin, Dust over the City)

 

but for the most part... (more so with a play or film),

all of the events need to be exagerated to a cetain degree.

I dont mean that everything has to be a 'life or death' struggle,

but the conflict needs to be serisous and absolute.

And I know that most people's everyday drama is very far from absolute.

 

but... I'm blowing hot air again.

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i say go ahead and post ur flix in the would you hit it thread , you'd be doing a great service to the 12oz community . or just send them straight to myself and i'll take good care of them

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