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FRATBOY CHECKLIST.


JoeyLawrence

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Originally posted by Comp

calling each other bro

the only number they can remember is how much they can bench or how many beers they can put away, but they often get these numbers confused.

watching porn together and then calling a guy who drives a jetta "gay"

carpenter jeans with frayed bottoms

hawaii puka shell necklace

hat that was purchased with a frayed bill

visors

hawaiian shirts with a wife beater underneath

cargo shorts with too many pockets

saying "what what" while raising their hands in the air

repetetive use of the word faggot

conditionless love for xbox and the game "halo"

really skinny sideburns

I think you nailed everything I was going to say. Lets add a couple more.

-Tight, shiny shirts that show off their "guns"

-Walking like they just got off of a horse

-Answering the phone with a voice that is two octaves lower than the way they normally talk

-Opening a door and walking through before any ladies

-Picking fights over the dumbest shit (i.e. "What the fuck are you looking at you skinny prick? You want a piece of this? Lets go!")

-Starting a "band" to get chicks but the closest thing to a gig they even try to get is a jam session at their frat house

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Guest bumdigger

someone needs to post that pic of the fratguy with "GAY" in the background. you know what i'm talk'n about.

 

- use "tan in a can" or go tanning(fags)

- wear tight shirts (fags)

- kegs of cheap light beer

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Guest whoami

...

 

-Singing fucking cumbaiya in a circle

-Think Sum41 is the shit

-Wear Gat Shirts when feeling "Down"

-They're all better at soccer than me

-Bang stupid chicks (so would I)

-Got tatoos of the Hardcore Ice T letters across their back....

-rah fagotz

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Try to look like surfers but have never even been on a boogie board.

 

Hurley

Oakleys

Always have money but never work ala parents bank account.

Always up on the newest trend and act like they have been down for years and the second something new comes around they drop it like its hot and go to the new thing and repeat the cycle.

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they make racist comments about black people yet listen to commercial rap and have much respect for nelly.

 

they play intense games of ultimate frisbee at the beach and kick sand all over people without apologizing

 

they read maxim and try out the tips on getting women

 

they have nicknames like "schmitty" "mackie" "e-dog" or they call each other by their last name "hey moorhouse" "hey o' conner"

 

they look like ben affleck

 

they try to charge you 5$ for a plastic cup to drink from their barrell of piss warm budwieser

 

if they see you wearing skateboard clothing they talk to you about tony hawk and the 900

 

they get one of the following tattoos:

1. tribal band

2. barbed wire band

3. tribal sun

4. greek letters

5. chinese characters for...a)strength b)courage c)freedom d)more than one of the above

 

if they see you skateboarding, they will ask you to do a "mctwist" a "360", or say "jump those stairs" or they will ask to try your board.

 

they spell lacrosse LAX

 

they show up at parties where they're the only frat guys there and think that everyone else is a fag but them

 

they have been to a creed concert.

 

they feel the need to talk about how drunk or high they are when they get drunk and high. "bro--i am so smashed!"

 

they drive drunk, get pulled over, and somehow don't get in any trouble.

 

they have a bruce lee poster in their room and hate asian people.

 

they have blacklights in their rooms

 

they have flat screen tv's

 

they give you way more details than you want to hear about their sex lives.

 

they go to cancun on spring break

 

they own all the girls gone wild videos

 

they go to dollar draft nights and watch baseball games

 

they have pool tables at their house

 

they have made a porno with a drunk girl and brag about it and show it to people

 

they have jewelry which includes gold rope chains with crosses or sliver bling bling herring bone chains to wear with the turtle neck sweaters

 

they go to strip bars and get in trouble for touching boobs and ass

 

they go to tijuana and montreal specifically because you can touch the strippers boobs and asses in those cities

 

they order appetizer combo plates with onion rings, mozzeralla sticks, waffle fries, and chicken tenders. and pitchers of beer.

 

they play foosball

 

they have really expensive mountain bikes and snowboards that they don't use.

 

they have an autographed picture of themself with either troy aikman, nolan ryan, micheal jordan, or rob thomas from matchbox 20

 

they hate hippies except for the one hippy guy they know who sells weed to them.

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Guest The Fonz

more beer

 

shitty weed

 

trying to use wrestling moves in a streetfight

 

closet homosexualtiy

 

beer

 

calling each other boss

 

bark louder than thier bite

 

sunglasses @ night

 

taking your shirt off in a fight

 

northface, northface, northface (paid for!!)

 

never, ever, under any circumstance drive with a shirt on in the summer

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-curly hair poppin out underneath your lacrosse hat.

-wearing flipflops to class when you are completely hungover and you are still scratching the skin flakes off you from the freshman girl you fucked 4 hours earlier.

-getting in a fistfight in mcdonalds with some fuckin thug bitches who were talkin shit about the brotherhood.

-working at abercrombie and fitch.

-when no amount of cologne will cover up the alcohol thats ventilating out of your pores.

-ben and jerrys icecream binges on sunday morning.

-cowtipping.

-pantagonia fleeces.

-"uppertankers" at rival frat parties.

-suede newbalances.

-visors.

-watching porn while talking about rugby while eating potato chips.

-protein shakes.

-if your life was like varsity blues in highschool, chances are that you are in a frat now.

-hot sisters.

-scoring with milfs during snowboarding trips at your friends moms cabin.

-lawnchairs on the roof.

-sitting on your frat house balcony and throwing water balloons at kids walking by on winter days.

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