Clever Name Posted March 6, 2002 Share Posted March 6, 2002 An internet conversation between me and "Joe" (names have been changed to protect the guilty): Joe: i have a bon jovi cd Me: which one? Joe: the one with living on a prayer Me: haha .. "take my hand, we'll make it i swear" Me: the best part of that song is the computerized "whoa whoa whoa's" Joe: if i ever went to prison id just act so crazy that nobody would mess with me Joe: smear my poop all over myself Me: haha yeah ... establish yourself as "unclean" Joe: get some chocolate pudding during lunch and act like its my own shit and start eating it Joe: "cause if youve got shit aint nobody gonna fuck with you" Me: haha, or just use actual shit ... wait... Joe: hmm Joe: i downloaded this video off of morpheus and its a bunch of girls eating each others shit straight out of an ass Me: ugghh god Me: hey, you could spraypaint yourself grabber green and see if any locked up writers jock your fill Joe: hahah Me: shit eating is just so 5 minutes ago Joe: i know..back in 8th grade i was eating piles, but now Me: haha Joe: im going to go to ***** Me: oh for real ... whats the occasion? Joe: i talk to a couple writers there and trade fliks Me: oh ok ... cool scene over there? Joe: yeah Me: you should go there and write really tiny Me: make that your gimmick ... pieces with fine lined paintbrushes up in the top right corner of the backside of trains Joe: im going to say to ***** after he paints a piece next to me "*****, buddy..you’re really not grasping this whole graff thing are you..but youre making me look better, ill give you that" Me: but tie his shoelaces together so when he comes after you he falls Me: haha then dis his piece Joe: he wears barrettes i heard Me: barrettes were hot in the 80's Me: that guy from uncle buck Joe: uncle buck was such a good movie Me: yeah ... those pancakes were next level Joe: his lunch was a pickle in a bag and milk in a jar..ahahahaah Me: haha Joe: i want to start painting pieces that are so gay that when any writer sees them they have to question their sexuality Me: hahahaHAH Me: pieces to promote homophobia Me: "prohomophobia" ... if you will Joe: haha Me: how about a piece with pink flowers for letters and hearts in the fill Joe: writers are going to look at each other when they see my pieces and say "man..do we like guys?" Me: hahah ... it will be a close, bonding experience Me: or you could play with the conventions of stereotypical gay expectations ... Me: have a rainbow over your piece crashing into a severed head bleeding into a pool of fruit juice Joe: ahahhahah Me: this needs to be a production .. Me: the quote could be something like: "2 snaps up in a circle for these hardcore niggas" Joe: hhahaha Me: "sweatin to the oldies: life within the metaphysical realm of subconscious prohomophobic graffiti" Me: the other day I saw this guy wearing some sort of headgear Joe: i saw a flick of ***** wearing a tye dye beret with matching socks and boxers Joe: i dont need braces but would like to get headgear you know? Me: i give him credit for originality Me: headgear would be tight on a stripper Joe: haha Joe: lets not get gayness and originality confused Me: picture your hair getting caught in the stripper's teeth during a lapdance Joe: picture her vaginal hair getting caught in your teeth during a lapdance Me: hahahah Me: it just gets STUCK Me: "eckshcuse shme ... mish shtrippersh" Me: "shmy teesh are shtuck in your crosh" Joe: "your vagshinal hairsh" Me: hahaha Joe: "shtinky" Me: someone was telling me about a trick his friend plays on girls when he has sex with them ... Me: this guy puts a penny in every girl's pussy after he fucks them ... Joe: why? Me: they take a shower or douche or whatever ... and just "notice a penny" Me: like "hey where'd that come from" Joe: put one of those little pills in there that turns into a 2 foot dinosaur when it gets wet Me: hahaha ... that would be great "america's funniest home videos" material Me: the penny thing seemed crude, obnoxious and borderline disturbing when the notion was first presented to me ... but as time goes on it becomes funnier and funnier Joe: to actually successfully place a penny in there each time without getting caught is worthy of praise Me: yeah, there's something admirable about such a feat Me: you have to wonder what the hell a girl thinks when she pulls a random coin out of her crotch ... ? Joe: yeah..a 2 foot dinosaur growing out of a screaming girls vagina would really get the family laughing Me: i'd throw a twenty up in there ... make things interesting Joe: haha Me: family outings would be comedy Joe: did you go to a strip club on your birthday Me: nah .. i just went to some show and then came home Me: i went to this street festival last weekend that did have a bunch of naked girls in the street Me: should have brought a camera Joe: damn Me: i think ***** (the place where the festival went down) has to contain some of the most ghetto areas of all time Me: i remember little kids dancing around a burning barrel in the street Joe: haha probably jewish kids Me: i think they were athiest Me: their running style wasn't demonstrative of any typical religious ceremony Me: they were on some off-the-top-of-the-dome freestyle-running shit Me: once i saw a police chase there where the cop and the guy getting chased were running at fucking walking speed Me: i just stood there and casually watched them poke by Me: it was a "haiku" experience Joe: hahaaha..what the hell Me: i guess they had been running for a loooong time, and just slowed to a near crawl but they still kept the chase alive Me: they had a small fan club following them ... Joe: did he catch the guy? Me: yeah eventually they both just stopped Me: it was right by the **** ... in those light-colored projects Joe: haha..my friend got a gun pulled on him there and his skateboard taken Me: dude the ghetto kids at that place are fucking ILL Me: one kid -- she was like 8 years old -- was talking about how "marcus ate her coochie good last night" Me: hahahahahaha -- me and these kids i was with just died laughing Joe: hahaha Joe: the little kids are so cool and it sucks theyre probably going to turn out fucking retarded because their parents are idiots Me: they're parents themselves Me: in *****, kids have kids at around 9 or 10 Joe: hahahhaa Me: you're in your prime when your 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASER1NE Posted March 6, 2002 Share Posted March 6, 2002 premarital sex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clever Name Posted March 6, 2002 Author Share Posted March 6, 2002 ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CIPHER_one Posted March 6, 2002 Share Posted March 6, 2002 Originally posted by Clever Name Me: one kid -- she was like 8 years old -- was talking about how "marcus ate her coochie good last night" there ya go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted March 7, 2002 Share Posted March 7, 2002 not too funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tue skinny Posted March 7, 2002 Share Posted March 7, 2002 two thums up :heated: :heated: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clever Name Posted March 7, 2002 Author Share Posted March 7, 2002 Originally posted by Iris not too funny Sorry to disappoint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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