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Posts posted by Frate_Raper

  1. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    My girls normal brother once alerted me to Franks close resemblance to Superman.....he rolls in the house and in a blink of an eye he's in his boxers walking around........he called him TARDMAN. Shit was banger!

  2. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    So Franky hates wearing coats......he will layer multiple hoods to get the desired warmth that his body hair doesn't provide.


    Thats not the issue or the funny part, as alot of people don't wear coats in the winter in CANADA!



    The awesome part about Frank wearing his 5 exco hoodies is the method he uses to remove them.



    one by one he latches the hood over the banister, bends down with his hands over his head and backs out of them. While grunting and making noises only a fat man can make. HE'S 33 YEARS FUCKING OLD!

    • Like 1
  3. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    So in her family when ever a person dies they will have a nice meal on that persons birthday as a "salute".


    Grandmas dead...remember Frank dumping the flowers and water out in the church?swag!


    We go out for this family meal, 50 deep easily.All the grand kids on one side and the adults etc on the other....oh by the way....we only eat at portuguese spots cause her ignant family wont eat anything not pork chop......So the Benfica(shitty foot ball team) games on and Franks Dad is swagging beers and watching it spazzing out.


    One of the other cakers that married in to the family loves to play tricks on my girls dad....it's their bro time. So when ever Dads not looking he reaches up and turns the channel. Dad freaks out at the waiter shits all gravy and super funny.




    Frank doesn't like social situations in which he is not the centre of attention, he finds reasons not to go to weddings, parties, family shit etc. He makes up friends,dates or starts beefs amongst people to not go, or make the thing about him.


    Frank tried his hardest to get out of this dinner but after his mom says "frank you dont have a date or any friends"....but yo thick thick portuguese accent and very monotone. He's pissed and out for blood.


    He screams at the dude thats turning the TV off "STOP FUCKING MY DADDY", cause you don't know what hes like, he drinks and goes crazy and beats me.....and when he comes after me i'm coming after you"


    then he runs out of the place but like a 3 year old all retarded and unsteady





    Her dad doesn't really drink and is the nicest man I've ever met, wouldn't hurt a fly let alone beat up his fat retarded son.

  4. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Don't get it twisted guys....Frank is always pretty nice to me.It's just that he is so fucked and self absorbed that he does shit to EVERYONE that sucks....thus making me hate him.




    When ever I'm at his parents place he will roll up to me with his porn smuggler and offer it to me to read the paper......



  5. If you are a gear head go buy something used that you can keep running and looking slick.



    Cars piss me off so much. I buy a nice german car thinking it will be a dream boat and it was, I trade it in on my next nazi wagon, got 2700 dollars on a 30000 dollar car? are you fucking kidding me. This nazi wagon is a sack of shit and cost me a bunch of cash.


    When it runs it runs and is a great car, when it goes down it's always 1000's and a pain in the ass.

  6. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    A girl went missing here and it was a huge fucking deal. It was in my girls parents hood....her name was holly jones,look it up.



    The police and an fbi profiler made up a profile and released it. It outlined an over weight, porn addicted loser etc etc.


    Frank reads the the profile in his porno smuggler and FREAKS OUT.........it fit Frank to a fucking TEEEEEE.



    He sits his mom down and tells her that he killed Holly Jones. His mom freaks out, everyones going nuts and I roll up to the house and drop the bomb.








    It wasn't Frank

    • Like 1
  7. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Franks pretty smart, he smuggles his porn into the house by using news papers.......so for christmas I thought a great way to fuck with him and to look good to the rest of the family was to buy him a subscription and have it delivered.




    My girl freaked out saying I was being mean and that I'm smarter then him and all this other shit.......i ran it by her normal brother and he thought it was fucking amazing.



    I chickened out.

  8. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Quick Frank lol



    Back when the ol lady and I first hooked up she told me her mom will offer me orange juice but it's really tang, I fucking love euro moms and the loss of translation of languages.




    She tells me not to take the Tang....EVER,EVER,EVER!


    WHY?.....she grabs her normal brother and gets him to show me why.



    FRANK MAKES THE TANG.....he uses all of his resources to make the Tangist Tang known to man......by forgoing the measuring instruments and necessary stirring tools he has his own methodology,


    Poor tang powder in to jug

    add water

    stir with hand/arm

    slurp tang off said hand/arm


    repeat process until desired Tangness is reached.






    If you ever roll threw my girls rents crib she isn't feeling you...you get the TARDANG

    • Like 1
  9. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Yo buzz kill this isn't about your tardoligist skills.....it's about Frank the retard being fucking hilarious.


    And if you most know....frank lives in a windowless room with his wrestling mags and porn collection!

    • Like 1
  10. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    I'm going to lurk him out on facebook too see if any tardish shots are on there!





    best part about this tattoo is that he has since denounced his faith and hates on it





    thanks for coming!





    My lady will murder me if she finds out I did this

    • Like 5
  11. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Frank makes alot of rad shit up......he doesn't have a single friend. It's sad but hes a fucking knob and brings it upon himself.


    He made up this girl he was "dating" at this sandwich shop on the block....he asked his normal brother to help him out on some dl woman getting shit. Normal bro rolls to shop with him to get a coffee and a snack.


    Frank sat at the table smashed back 4 BOTTLES of coke and ran out when the chick tried talking to him............



    Notmal brother said the chick came over to ask him to pay his bill for the last time he ran out, and asked him if he was retarded because he sits their starring at her sweating, and that her dad doesn't want him around he's freaking everyone out!


    I still hit that deli on the reg and totally eye bang home girl

    • Like 1
  12. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Frank almost lost his job at a high end department store once........a woman shopping was so grossed out by him starring at her ass and sweating profusely she told the manager. She threatened sexual harassment charges because this wasn't the first time it had happened.


    It also wasn't the first chick to bitch.



    He was freaking out because some told him he could go to jail and for like 2 weeks many laughs ere had at his expense.

  13. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    El ver....I'd fuck up your boy over that shit.....picking on tards isn't cool......but laughing about the tardness when they aren't around is.






    If I posted all the terrible shit this guy has done over the years you'd catch a flight to ice him for me......he is A TERRIBLE HUMAN.

  14. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    I'm not worried about my old ladies gene pool, as everyone from the Azores is inbreed, wheres johnny at he can back this up. He's the only tard in the massive family. Hes more socially retarded then anything, like hes a fucking muppet no doubt but everyone thought he was shy for 27 years.....his fam just admit that hes not all there!







    Frank threatened to kill himself right......and ran out of the house. Being Down town Toronto we all got a little worried, his mom was a mess........she knew where he was though................................................................................................



    THE WALKING PATH BEHIND THEIR HOUSE HAS A BRIDGE, IT'S LIKE A 9 FOOT DROP! She goes back to get him and he's pacing back in forth talking to himself trying work up the never to do it. He sees shes coming and starts to go for it.


    She screams something in retarded italian and the normal brother screams......"OH FUCK LET HIM DO IT MA, AT WORST HE'LL SKIN HIS KNEE"

    • LOL! 1
  15. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law






    I have so many Frank stories that I don't even know where to begin.......


    do any of you know how hard it is to fall asleep with a 33 year old obese semi retarded man singing the Backstreet boys to his cat?

    • Like 1
  16. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    quick one for lolz.........



    he speaks pure immigrant portuguese english, high pitched tard talk.It's cold out...as per homies in boxers.Were having a family meal and roles in to the kitchen an screams "oh it's so cold in here Frate, NO?"



    "No Frank it's not, but the again I'm wearing clothes"



    he chuckles awkwardly



    only to return moments later pissed off to inform us hes not eating where hes not wanted

  17. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    So grandma dies.....were all sad. We as the the six grand kids are asked to carry the casket.


    So were sitting in the front of the church while the priest is saying his thing, in fucking portuguese, and their are these huge vases of flowers leading up the stairs to the stage with god mang on it.........one of them just falls over on to its side. Her normie brother looks at me like "should we pick this up?".



    THE PLACE IS PACKKKED like 300 people in this amazing old church.


    With ninja like speed Frank is up there in a flash looking at how to pick the vase up..........normal humans would just stand it back up its on its side nothing leaking out.


    Its getting awkward,dudes up there for a few mins while jesus mang is talking his shit......


    An aunt is like loud whispering at him and shoeing him like a cat hes getting nearvous.........



    DOES HE NOT pick the whole thing up upside fucking down dumping all the flowers and about 3 gallons of water al over the church....looks at the church standing there with the vase in his hand for what seemed like an eternity!


    Her normal brother and i were were doing the whole "oh,oh,oh OHHHHHH" then start dying, but holding it in.....I guess we did a great job as everyone thought i was hugging him to comfort him, not hold in our laughter.



    So now its time to cart g-ma out.......Frank has "tard strength" but rarely use is it....I get stuck with his sobbing sister,and him on my side. So we start....and after a few feet I notice hes not really carrying shit.


    Get to the steps and his sister is a fucking mess


    Retard isnt helping


    I'm fucking DYING,in a suit sweating like the priest on teen drop in night to the point I was almost screaming like a roid monkey!When we almost drop the ol gal loading her into the hurst........i actually had to take a knee and was seeing stars.......the pork chop community thought I was just sad not on the verge of death.


    This ones funny grandpa's got me so mad i almost started a fight.

    • Like 2
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