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Posts posted by Frate_Raper

  1. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Hater Franks not like an out of control tard, he just does awesome shit....like if were to get him interviewed on B.T he'd sweat and say something dumbdiculious then bolt.




    So my man Frank LOVEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS the porn, it's his everything. 7 years ago he went on a vacation with his parents. Normal brother in law is being a 17 year old and looking through his closet for some hockey shit,yeah right.


    He comes to get me to see the unholly amount of skin flicks and mags franky has amassed.

    He had rubbermaid tote containers neatly stacked from the floor to the ceiling FILLED with binders or porn mags, in plastic sleeves.


    He was buying two, one to beat it too and another in plastic.....the dvd's were numbering into the 100's.....my lady had never watched a porn until that fateful day, it was a day etched into all our minds as it was the day we found out of Franks love of large black men violating small blonde teen runaways.


    Her brother hit play on the dvd player and it was almost que'ed up to a large gorilla choking this girl with runny make up....my lady freaked out and made him turn it off.She was so upset that this was going on in the house she was living in she wanted to move like that second.



    So I questioned Franks love of print media pronz? wtf I say why doesn't he use a computer like the rest of us sexual deviants......but that is another story!

  2. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Frank is not into anything that is not portuguese, he's a brain washed son of immigrants. Rides are you fucking kidding me?



    Frank asked to go see Lord of the Rings with some of his younger cousins and his normal brothers...they took him, when that Golem thing jumped off he got so afraid he ran the fuck out and took the subway home.



    I was at the house mashing out some left overs when dude came home and told me "i'll sleep nothing tonight cause of that ting"




    he was like 28

  3. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Frank hates social situations that he has not altered into some weird fucking thing about him bailing to go home...........The ROM isn't ignant portuguese shit SOOOO we could take him to a bull fight or some stupid immigrant shit he'd be down.




  4. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    The fallout if you pulled that stunt and your girl summarily found out and discovered this thread would probably be the most epic event of the year




    My girl has fully endorsed this thread and even started to remind me of Frank times.



    So my future parents are fucking awesome and super immigrant. They are the typical european mom and dad.They are very active and front like they are 30 when they really are pushing 60.


    The are still enjoying one another's company, by this I mean they still bang out all the time, If we show up to the house and their door is A.CLOSED AND B.LOCKED, We dip and make all sorts of jokes.....Is it gross, you bet your ass it is......does it give me hope that I'll be getting banged out well in my 60's,FUCKING RIGHT IT DOES!


    So we roll in unannounced and lady friend notices the doors closed, she ever so quietly tries the knob, turns to me in a panic and is like "oh god tony and ana are banging again"....the jokes start and shes pissed.


    We go to the basement to look for her dads old nikes, dudes got a mean shoe game.


    Frankie boy thunders down the stairs like a retarded elephant calling out "MOMMY?......DADDY?"....oh fyi he calls them mommy and daddy still at 33, and this aint no Hamptons jargon boys, pure tard talk.


    He goes to walk into their room but the doors locked and he smashes into it, were already dying laughing!


    He starts knocking and screaming "mommy,daddy....whys the door locked,,,,what are you doing"


    Were fully dying now, full on tears, rolling around.


    He then comes down stairs to inform us that "Mommy and Daddy are in their room with the door locked I don't know what they are doing" but picture retarded portuguese accent.


    The mom rolls down in a robe and her looking like a sex knot, flushed in the face...no eye contact with us....Frank starts in on her "whats going on...whys the door locked"


    I lost it I couldn't help it,my girl smirked at me and i LAUGHED.



    Frank runs upstairs and "daddy" is in the kitchen, in half english and portuguese he's like "eh man, whats a matta fo you waking me up guy?"



    it was 730 on a week night.


    We were dying....her mom made no eye contact for like a month

  5. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    Frank loves to pee ont he seat, when ever my chicks over there she always sits in it. She started to leave extremely detailed notes as to proper peeing protocol. Dude went through this phase about 4 years ago of not flushing the toilet and leaving the seat up so the whole place at the aromatics of frank. His dad lost his head and told him if he didn't start taking care of that shit he would throw his ass out.

  6. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    we have talked about making shirts that have his body on it....sleeveless of course.



    When he used to roll around with semi boners I would almost die. He does this thing when hes nervous where he slides his hands down the back of his boxers and scratches his ass with the tops of his hands.



    I stopped touching everything the house.

  7. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    aight so Frank has quite an extensive palette when it comes to eating............hamburgers,hotdogs,pizza,chips,icecream and popcicles THATS IT...



    let me tell you about this fuckers table manors



    they dont exist



    His mom has cried over it, she doesn't know where he learned to eat like a pig, anytime they tell him to breath,or put a shirt on at the table he freaks out and stomps off talking all kinds of shit.Her normal brother and I will fist fight over who has to sit next to him at family shit......he's like a weight loss program called GROSS ME THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT SMACKING SHIT!



    Never seen this du eat fruit,or veggies either.If it doesn't have Ketchup on it or Franks red hot,he don't eat it.

  8. So I go to Ikea with my girl....I wanted to eat, she wants to buy "cute" shit.



    I ate,I wondered,I got lost in that fucking masse




    I felt like was circling the place.....so I grabbed some mini pencils and started to draw mini dicks every where to see if I was.



    I find my girl and shes like in a rush and wants to jet.



    She saw all these wangs every where and knew it was me and heard an employee freaking out about it.





    ALL CITY WANGS CREW!.....say it like the guy from city wok in south park

  9. Re: My semi retarded soon to be brother in-law


    In high school Frank was forced to take ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE for 5 years........Dude speaks english but he sounds like he just got off the boat....upon hearing this i asked her normal brother if his Portuguese was stronger then his english.



    Dude turns to his dad and says some shit......they start laughing.


    Dude turns back to me and says.................."my dad said 5 years of esl couldn't teach him english....everyone argued with me...I kept telling them 18 years of use speaking portuguese couldn't teach him not to ask for seconds....waste of tax money"


    As this was going on Frank walked by the garage eating a hotdog.....WE ALL LAUGHED

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