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The Meaning of Life

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by ÀEL GRINGO?, Dec 11, 2001.

  1. ÀEL GRINGO?

    ÀEL GRINGO? 12oz Junior Member

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    The Meaning of Life

    Discussion started by ÀEL GRINGO? - Dec 11, 2001

    Another cheery day in the gringo's life... But seriously I mean I dont really look forward to anything anymore, going through drug evaluations and fighting speed and alcholism this is fucking stupid. I wake up every morning just hoping that today will be better than the last, didnt go to school today and Im so behind in every class that I am pondering not going back tomarrow Im sick of everything. Girlfriend hates me lately and even when she doesnt theres always something wrong, shes a drama queen. Im never really happy except when Im painting but I suck and I havent sketched in about a month. I dont even remember the last time I painted, I cant paint because I've got drug charges up the wazoo and Im too pussy to break probation on curfew and vandalism charges. Lol actually I dont even think Im happy when I am thinking about graffiti anymore cant concentrate on anything. I just sit around making top romen and listening to music. I cant play the guitar anymore and my voice is so fucked because of all the cigarettes I've been smoking. Keep making plans to quit smoking or start break dancing but I dont have the fucking modivations. But seriously nothing excites me anymore and there is not inspiration in my life. Did I mention Im too much of a pussy for suicide and I know thats not a good idea anyway. I cant cry anymore, Im emotionally dead. I dont even smile anymore cept when Im thinking about days when I was so drunk or stoned that I ended up doing stupid funny shit. Arrrr Im wondering if everyone in the world is feeling the same way I do now. I think we should just stop civilization and start little tribes and shit and kill each other with spears that would be phat. Put like war paint on my face and shit. This world is so complicated and stupid that its caved in on itself and became a living hell, well atleast for me, but I know there are a million other heads out there that feel the same way I do about life... wow this is a lot of writing no ones going to read this or else seeking is just going to shut it down. And even if he doesnt no one will respond because what can you say to this? "yea life sucks dude, get a helmet" and then people will just go off to talk about "pics of hot chicks" and how hard it is to take a skateboard on an "airplane" or some other randomly stupid shit... yea well fuck you all cause life sucks and i'd kill myself if I had the balls or if I didnt care about my friends and family so much. Speaking of that why is it so hard to talk to them? why why why "life sucks, die"

    other thoughts I didnt mention:

    - father is miserable and hates me too

    - dont have time to go to aa meetings anymore because of choir?

    - Im in a choir? isnt that some geeky shit?

    -De Gringo
     
    ÀEL GRINGO? - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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  2. beardo

    beardo Guest

    beardo - Replied Dec 11, 2001

    way to rule out all possible efforts to give you any support.

    "yea life sucks dude, get a helmet"
     
  3. pukey1

    pukey1 12oz Elite Member

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    pukey1 - Replied Dec 11, 2001

    i feel ya there bro
     
    pukey1 - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  4. Obsessed

    Obsessed Guest

    Obsessed - Replied Dec 11, 2001

    "the hollow men"

    a bit long but well worth the read...one of my favorite poems
    t.s. eliot

    We are the hollow men
    We are the stuffed men
    Leaning together
    Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
    Our dried voices, when
    We whisper together
    Are quiet and meaningless
    As wind in dry grass
    Or rats' feet over broken glass
    In our dry cellar

    Shape without form, shade without colour,
    Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

    Those who have crossed
    With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
    Remember us--if at all--not as lost
    Violent souls, but only
    As the hollow men
    The stuffed men.


    Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
    In death's dream kingdom
    These do not appear:
    There, the eyes are
    Sunlight on a broken column
    There, is a tree swinging
    And voices are
    In the wind's singing
    More distant and more solemn
    Than a fading star.

    Let me be no nearer
    In death's dream kingdom
    Let me also wear
    Such deliberate disguises
    Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
    In a field
    Behaving as the wind behaves
    No nearer--

    Not that final meeting
    In the twilight kingdom


    This is the dead land
    This is cactus land
    Here the stone images
    Are raised, here they receive
    The supplication of a dead man's hand
    Under the twinkle of a fading star.

    Is it like this
    In death's other kingdom
    Waking alone
    At the hour when we are
    Trembling with tenderness
    Lips that would kiss
    Form prayers to broken stone.


    The eyes are not here
    There are no eyes here
    In this valley of dying stars
    In this hollow valley
    This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

    In this last of meeting places
    We grope together
    and avoid speech
    Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

    Sightless, unless
    The eyes reappear
    As the perpetual star
    Multifoliate rose
    Of death's twilight kingdom
    The hope only
    Of empty men.


    Here we go round the prickly pear
    Prickly pear prickly pear
    Here we go round the prickly pear
    At five o'clock in the morning.

    Between the idea
    And the reality
    Between the motion
    And the act
    Falls the shadow

    For Thine is the Kingdom

    Between the conception
    And the creation
    Between the emotion
    And the response
    Falls the Shadow

    Life is very long

    Between the desire
    And the spasm
    Between the potency
    and the existence
    Between the essence
    And the descent
    Falls the Shadow

    For Thine is the Kingdom

    For thine is
    Life is
    For Thine is the

    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper.
     
  5. imported_MoeLarryCurly

    imported_MoeLarryCurly 12oz Member

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    imported_MoeLarryCurly - Replied Dec 11, 2001

    one of these days ii'm just going to say "Fuck this shit" and lash out at myself or someoen else. i am on the verge of venting my frustations on anyone whenever the situation arises. oh wel.l yeah " life sucks,die" were and are once again becoming my life aspirations(that term makes no sense)but i dont care about anything anymore. my friendships are fucked i just sit in school even though i did do that already..i do well without even trying but i don't give a shit and my friendships with good friends are fucked. i owe my old friend who was a good friend money and once i pay him im going to punch him straight in the jaw because i'm sick of shit and just dont give a fuck about anything or anyone anymore. everyone including me can fuck off that is my attitude towards life and everything nowadays. and i never get to do al the shit that i enjoy anymore cus i dont have time or it ends up half assed
    well i'm sorry for wasting time i dont even know why i'm typing now so hopefully something wil stop me form typing or living anymore.............................
    at least i'm not the onnly one
     
    imported_MoeLarryCurly - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  6. Ammo

    Ammo 12oz Senior Member

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    Ammo - Replied Dec 11, 2001

    yeah dude i know kinda how you feel. nothing to look forward too, just to go to sleep. but then il just have to get up and go to the same classes, tag the same spots, like the same girls, take the same retarded tests. i cant cry. crying feels so good, but i just cant. a couple weeks ago i beat my self untill i bled. i was seiously pacing back and forth arguing with my self over all this dumb shit i do to myself. everything bad i feel, its all my fault. this love that hurts so much is all my fault just for thinking i had a chance in the first place and letting my self get out of control. i mean really what is the point of life? no one is going anywhere when they die. yeah its a nice thought, going to heven, but its all a load of shit that children are blinding dragged into at young ages. thats how it keeps going. i wish there was something i could do for you, do for all of us, do for any of us, buts its all hopeless. fuck
     
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  7. Mr.LonelyHeart

    Mr.LonelyHeart 12oz Member

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    Mr.LonelyHeart - Replied Dec 11, 2001

    alright you depressed motherfuckers....if it makes ya happy I read what you wrote and feel for you....I've felt similarly myself in the past...and the best I can think to say is that it'll pass...
    and also it helps to consider how much freedom you still have...like the fact that just being able to walk down the street -without anyone stopping you!...is a wonderful thing to be appreciated...the simple pleasures and whatnot
    for what it's worth...I pray...and things always seem to work out for the best...but I won't get into that here....just maybe try and find something you believe in that can give you direction...in case you don't already...after all..who can really say any particular faith is just propaganda or "shit"? it's a big mystery..a big problem..and we're not the first, nor the smartest to have had to struggle with it...

    ....but if worse comes to worse you could just look at the "rabbit/pancake" thread:D
     
    Mr.LonelyHeart - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  8. ÀEL GRINGO?

    ÀEL GRINGO? 12oz Junior Member

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    ÀEL GRINGO? - Replied Dec 11, 2001


    Damn Im good, feeling a little better now, Depression comes in cycles, soon enough you'll find something stupid that will grab attention to your mind and you'll give up the self pity for awhile... peace out Gs :spent:
     
    ÀEL GRINGO? - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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  9. snafuno

    snafuno Guest

    snafuno - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    I don't want to tsay that I know how oyu feel because everyones situations are different. I can say that I am at that point in my life where
    Things aren't really going my way. My father hates me too, i don't have job, I am not going to school and it seems as if life is leaving me behind just to wroght and decay..i see other people advancing in life being successful and being just happy in general. I know that life is a cycle and that everyone hit this point at least once in thier life. I suppose it builds character and defines what you are. I was told once that the definition of hell is what you are right now meeting what you could of become! It is so hard to keep focus on goals and juggle lifes adversities. It is just extremely hard to go to school just for a piece of paper that said look at me I complete this course, so now give me my degree. Getting a job is similar, in thatyou must show that piece of paper and if you don't have it it automatically disqualifies you from having any chances! This frustrates me the most because it limits you capabilities, even though you posses the knowledge and talent to preform the job..All I can suggest it to look back on the goals that you set! If you have none, make some. Painting for me is temporary satisfaction, it does justice to my life for about three hours and then I remember I have to come home to a house ful of hate and disgust! painting soothes that, but it lasts only for that period of time when i am actually not thinking about life and focussing on my piece...
    I honestly hope you get some help for some of those things that bring you down kid(s) cause if you can kick a habbit then you can get on track an keep on keep'n on! Lifes a garden, dig it!!!!!!!!
    word!! big ups to my boy asic for helping a kid out when i need it! i appreciate all the things you sacraficed and time you spent on tryingto help!!!!! one love...
     
  10. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

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    Devilush - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    are all u guys emo or something?!

    gosh all i do read on 12oz is someone complaining and what not. some one who thinks that their life is so terrible that they wanna commit suicide, but yet go on here and talk about it. it may be some kinda outlet for you guys, but are you kiddin yourselves here? its life ...get over it. i dont mean to be harsh at all, but it seems that you are complaining about so many petty things!! there are so many people far worse than u are at this point. you chose to take the drugs, so take the consequences and deal with it. you chose to be lazy and not go to school, sufer the consequences. gosh, do something about it!! i am not going to front like i have had the best life. i have thought about those things, when i was a teenager. then i realized, that i was being selfish and petty and trying to find something to blame. and it seems that u are doing that. so what did i do? i got off my ass and made my life happy and changed everything from sad to positive. and excluded shit in my life that will fuck me up. so why arent u doing it? doesnt matter what age either....get off your ass and and do something instead of complaining about it.
     
    Devilush - Rank: 12oz Legend - Messages:
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  11. krs702

    krs702 12oz Senior Member

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    krs702 - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    people that complain are annoying..
     
    krs702 - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  12. imported_Tesseract - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    Re: are all u guys emo or something?!


    Whos kidding now....how the hell did you do that?

    Two things that annoy me is extrawhinning and extraoptimism,
    Gringos post is all about whinning, beardos advise is wise and the closest thing that can help him.
    Devilush's post is the same nayve in the other way round.
     
  13. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

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    Devilush - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    aw come on now. it is so pointless to be complaining about something that you can change. life is about choices. i choose to exlude the shit that was making my life hell. which isn't much if you are a teenager if you really think about it. so life throws you shit, well slap it back, deal with it, or let it roll off your shoulders and hope it the smell goes away. it's your choice of what you want to do with it.
     
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  14. cornelius

    cornelius 12oz Member

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    cornelius - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    Re: are all u guys emo or something?!

    "are all you guys emo or something?!" <--- hahahahahaha... man that's funny! i was just talking about emo too! hahahaha.. shit..

    cornelius:"yeah, my weekend is gonna be pretty emo.. tilley and i are goin out... gonna do some graffiti type rowdiness.."
    friend:"man... my weekend is gonna be emoer than yours... i have to drive allie and mark to a get up kids show, she got me a ticket, so i have to go too..."
    cornelius: "UGGGGGGHHHHH EWWWWWWW EWW EW!!!"
    friend: "yeah man, you don't have to tell me twice.."
    cornelius: "man... i'm sorry...."
     
    cornelius - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  15. snafuno

    snafuno Guest

    snafuno - Replied Dec 12, 2001

    word devilush! thats what i'm saying....When life gives you lemons, make lemonaide!!!