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Children are afraid of the dark.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by DETO, Jan 2, 2006.

  1. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    1. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.

    2. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool!

    3. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.

    4. Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

    5. 5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.

    6. Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.

    7. Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.

    8. Mr. T's Mohawk is not held up by hair gel, his hair is just scared of him and is trying to get as far away as possible.

    9. Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.

    10. Mr. T does not actually pity fools. He is just being sarcastic. No one has noticed because it is difficult to pick up such subtleties while being bludgeoned.

    11. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

    12. When Mr. T was circumsized his foreskin was not disposed of. Instead it was raised as a normal child, and it grew to love the game of basketball. Today we know Mr. T's foreskin as Shaquille O'Neal.

    13. Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.

    14. Mr. T is the reason the sky is blue. Don't ask stupid questions.

    15. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

    16. Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.

    17. Mr. T always drives on the right side of the road, no matter where he is in the world.

    18. Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.

    19. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.

    20. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.

    21. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.

    22. When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.

    23. Mr. T once ate four 72 oz. steaks in 12 minutes. He spent the first 5 minutes laughing at the fact it takes Chuck Norris fifteen minutes to eat three.

    24. Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.
     
  2. Neskoner

    Neskoner New Jack

    Joined: Jan 6, 2003 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 1
    [​IMG]
    Mr.t pwnz joo all.
     
  3. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
  4. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
  5. Big Bruno

    Big Bruno Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2001 Messages: 2,472 Likes Received: 70
    8. Mr. T's Mohawk is not held up by hair gel, his hair is just scared of him and is trying to get as far away as possible.

    9. Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
     
  6. High Priest

    High Priest Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 1, 2002 Messages: 4,928 Likes Received: 3
    Eddie Murphy's "RAW" - end of story.
     
  7. Harvey Wallbanger

    Harvey Wallbanger Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 13, 2004 Messages: 8,567 Likes Received: 400
    I just found this record. Obviously, it rules.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. rental

    rental Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 1, 2001 Messages: 7,641 Likes Received: 1
    there should be one of these about misteraven.
     
  9. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,058 Likes Received: 48
    Man, this is funny... you all have no idea how hard I was laughing at that Chuck Norris shit too. That would be funny Rental... no doubt.
     
  10. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113

    it's not going to write itself...
     
  11. rental

    rental Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 1, 2001 Messages: 7,641 Likes Received: 1
    please, we both know im not that motivated or funny. ill make dirty do it or something. *passes the buck* maybe moogle. he's funny.
     
  12. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113

    you are funny, but i'll agree that you're lazy
     
  13. Harvey Wallbanger

    Harvey Wallbanger Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 13, 2004 Messages: 8,567 Likes Received: 400
    Hey, wierd. Mr T is on Conan O' Brien right now. They're doing that "in the year 2000" shit, and T keeps laughing when he's supposed to look serious.
     
  14. nuyorican

    nuyorican Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 4, 2005 Messages: 163 Likes Received: 0
  15. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
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