TEEHEEHEE Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Originally posted by Rodney Trotter 8. Fusion Ahhhh, would that be reffering to graffiti ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rectum Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Originally posted by se_FOUR Never met an Aussie who didn`t like Pie and Mash..Anyway aussie`s are just Brits with suntans.. we have nothing in common with your filthy kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rectum Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Originally posted by Rodney Trotter My top ten fav' Aussies*: 1. Mark 'Chopper' Reed 2. Skippy the Kangaroo 3. Rolf Harris 4. Nathalie Imbruglia 5. Paul Hogan 6. Dame Edna 7. Clive James 8. Fusion 9. Bouncer from Neighbours 10. Angus Young *in no particular order. they were the ten austrlalians you could think of yes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Flag Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 "Why won't Rolf Harris just fuck off and die?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ski Mask Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes up in North Atlantic Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes up in North Atlantic Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) — After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic. "Good Lord, that was a booze up," said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina. According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad. "It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em," recalled witness Kevin Porter. "Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'" "Well, it made sense at the time," Porter added. By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake. When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself, not only upside down, but smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that's the way it's going to stay. "We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It's all 'America did this,' and 'Europe says that,'" exclaimed Perth resident Paul Watson. "Well, we're right in the thick of things now, so let's just see if you can you ignore us." Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. "They broke Florida," said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. "And most of Latin America is missing." Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the "Australian Crawl" are still shaking off the event. "Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time," said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. "They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. 'Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'" "Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one," Cayetano added. Panama, however, was not so lucky. "Australia came through here screaming curses at us to let them through," said Ernesto Carnal, who guards the locks at the entrance to the Panama Canal. "We said they would not fit, so they demanded to speak with a manager. When I go to find Mr. Caballos, they sneak the whole continent through." When Caballos shouted to the fleeing country that it had not paid, Australia "accidentally" backed up and took out every nation in the region, as well as the northern third of Venezuela. They then made up a cheery song about it. By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. "We've still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland," said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. "I think we might have declared war on it. I don't bloody remember. Maybe it's time to go home." Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia's withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles. U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request "absurd." Copyright © 2002, SatireWire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 THE BEST AUSSIE IS SLIM MUTHAFUCKIN DUSTY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 the best thing to come out of austrailia http://www.townsend-records.co.uk/acatalog/avalanchessince.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 Re: the best thing to come out of austrailia Originally posted by -Rage- http://www.fatcap.co.uk/host/files/Pimpske.jpg'> BEST THING TO COME OUT OF AUSTRALIA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 booo-urns :sarcastic laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distorted Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 Originally posted by R. Heydrich Hollie has the gnarly coke hab. But she's prettier than Kylie. But Kylie would be a WAAAAAAAYYYYYY better fuck. How do you figure that? Holly would be a way better root but Everyone knows Delta burns them both... :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodney Trotter Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 Originally posted by TEEHEEHEE Ahhhh, would that be reffering to graffiti ? yep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest krie Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 best thing out of oz: me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
se_FOUR Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 Originally posted by Rectum we have nothing in common with your filthy kind. you think?!?!?!?! If it wasn`t for this filthy kind would Australlia exist as it does 2day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Removed Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 Originally posted by krie best thing out of oz: me i beg to differ kind sir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basic Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 australia is good for the beer . good for the women bad for most other things . but that dosent really matter now does it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TEEHEEHEE Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 i'll bet zeezee listened to all the necro stuff you own and HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A KADAVA IS FUCKIN' HAHAHAHAH HE HEH HEHE oh god ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TEEHEEHEE Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 http://www.fatcap.co.uk/host/files/Pimpske.jpg Who the fuck is that ! ! ! God damn those cameras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 Originally posted by se_FOUR you think?!?!?!?! If it wasn`t for this filthy kind would Australlia exist as it does 2day? haha, gwarn se4, tell them how it really is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Re: the best thing to come out of austrailia Originally posted by -Rage- http://www.townsend-records.co.uk/acatalog/avalanchessince.gif'> Word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rectum Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Originally posted by se_FOUR you think?!?!?!?! If it wasn`t for this filthy kind would Australlia exist as it does 2day? quiet you:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.