grd

If I had 1000 posts I'd neg you too, you're poor punctuation offends me almost as much as your boring internet persona.

That is all kinds of awesome. Just you wait 'til I'm not 24'd

Tilting at windmills and waiting for my wine to breathe

Brazilian Woman Wins The Right To Watch Porn & Masturbate At Work Dodai Stewart How do you relieve stress and anxiety when you're on the job? Do some online window shopping? Hit up the vending machine for some chocolate? Take a smoke break? One Brazilian woman masturbates. Eighteen times a day. Ana Catarina Bezerra, a 36-year-old accountant, has a chemical imbalance. She suffers from severe anxiety and hypersexuality. She finds that masturbating helps for a little while. According to Guanabee, Bezerra explains: got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal." Now Bezerra has seen a doctor, and she's medicated, so she doesn't need to jill off as often. But she still needs to. And she had to take her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate during the workday. A few weeks ago she won her case, which means she can reach orgasm at work as often as she requires and use her work computer to look at porn. And since happy employees are more productive, Bezerra is probably the best accountant in Brazil. http://jezebel.com/5801655/brazilian-woman-wins-the-right-to-watch-porn--masturbate-at-work

Dear Dear ________, Stella Cidre makes for a sleepy drunk but it tastes SO good. I'm all about it. -grdre

still would

ahaha unlucky. I'm not sure shame is the appropriate response.

That's just cruel. Poor kids I'd drink his piss

Vegan Black Metal Chef Episode 1 Pad Thai

Stick another +1 on your post it note Realism

The boy with the magnetic personality: Six-year-old Croatian strongman can stick metal objects to his body In many respects, Ivan Stoiljkovic is much like any other six-year-old boy in his city. He enjoys kicking a ball around in the garden of the home he shares with his family and is learning to play the accordion as a hobby. But there are some areas of his magnetic personality where Ivan differs greatly - namely his ability to stick metal objects to his body. Magnetic personality: Six-year-old Croatian boy Ivan Stoiljkovic is able to stick metal objects to his body, while his family also claim he has extra strength and healing powers Side effects: Ivan can carry up to 25kg of metal on his body but he says that he tires quickly when using his powers, which his family claim include healing hands that became hot when laid on his grandfather's stomach There are also claims from his family in Koprivnica, in Northern Croatia, of unusual levels of strength and even healing powers. But one thing is for certain - when Ivan takes off his shirt, he is able to stick metallic objects such as spoons, mobile phones and even frying pans to his body. In total, his family says, he can carry up to 25kg of metal stuck to his torso. In the video below, his grandmother Dragica adds metal objects of various sizes to his torso, including a huge metal frying pan. 'I have no problem to hold metal objects, but eventually I get tired,' said Ivan. But that isn't the end to Ivan's unusual talents. According to his family, Ivan has also used his 'healing' hands to alleviate stomach pains for his grandfather Ivo and is credited with soothing the pain of a neighbour who hurt his leg in a tractor accident. Ivo said that when his grandson laid his hands on his stomach, they became extremely hot and the pain simply went away. When something hurts us, we ask Ivan to put his hands on the sore and the pain disappears in a flash,' said Dragica. If that wasn't enough, it is also claimed Ivan is much stronger than other children his age and is able to easily carry bags of cement as heavy as 50lb. His abilities echo the character Magneto, as featured in the X-Men comics and films, a mutant who has the ability to manipulate metals. Magneto was played by Sir Ian McKellen in the X-men trilogy of films, and will be played by Michael Fassbender in the upcoming prequel X-Men: First Class. http://youtu.be/2hGmjURO02c This was in the same 'news'paper as that WOW

Dear everything, *sigh* -grd

waiting for season 1 of Red Dwarf to finish downloading "Space Corps Directive 1742. 'No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee." "Space Corps Directive 997. 'Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime" "Space Corps Directive 34124. 'No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity."

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you"

Dear Tuesday, Have you been in cahoots with Monday? -grd Dear pluming company, after all my hard earned cash you're taking you couldn't even send a cute one? You had to send an old fella with builders bum and a faint aroma of sprouts? Aaaannnddd He's not gonna be done for 3 more days?! /disappointedoner

Dear Souls and Rolf, I would very much like to take my frustration out on the plumbers face but I think I'm gonna have to wait until he's fixed my boiler. I kinda like having hot water, heat an all that. If I've learned anything in all this, it's that I need to become a plumber because those dudes really are getting paid. -groundedinnit Edit Dear Rolferino, good luck with the job innit - aunty g

Dear Monday, Up until 1:30 you were all kinds of awesome, with extra awe even. Why'd you have to change? -grdeafeated Dear mister plumber man, Really though? No, but...really? -/yesmad

If you walk the C'diff line, up towards the lighthouse there are tonnes of places to paint. It's a nice walk too if you get a good day.

Ahh you've been over the 'pear' Decy, if you keep walking that line you get up past the back of Tesco and it joins the main C'diff line. There's some pretty nice spots to paint around there. How early was it for the Pill shops to be so quiet?!

Dear NBB -grd Dear laughs, I'm secure enough in my sexuality to appreciate a great pair of boobs when I see 'em. I've tried to do the photo hunt thing but I always forget what's on the list and I can't even find my camera. I'd ruin the thread with phone flicks and half assedness. -grd

What if the characters of Broadway's "The Importance of Being Earnest" traveled through a time warp and woke up on the beach with Snooki, The Situation and the rest of the gang of MTV's "Jersey Shore"? In an exclusive video series created for Playbill by "Earnest" stars Santino Fontana and David Furr, the Roundabout Theatre Company cast puts "Jersey" in the mouths of Oscar Wilde's famed Britons. Think of it as a comedy of bad manners. Part 1 in a multi-part series.

Dear ladies, I totally thought you were joking. I'm sorry. While I'm 100% supportive, I'd for sure buy one and hang it on my wall, I'm not convinced the internet is a place for faces. I'll be in the states in September though, and I'd totally help out and buy you all numerous beers. And of course I'm first in line to buy awesome Miss Symbols designed corsets!! (how's the denim working out? I'm super excited to see where you've got lovely!) -grd

Someone obviously sent out the wrong kind of party invites.