DA KID MERO

GOTTA BE THE PUERTO RICAN DUDE TO AMP ME TO DO SOME ILLEGAL SHIT. I FIGURED NIGGAS WOULD SEND YOU TO FEDDY FOR THAT SHIT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE. CUZ IF NIGGAS CAN DUCK TAXES, CHILD SUPPORT, BILLS, AND POLICE I FIGURE YOU CAN DUCK THE ARMY. I MENTIONED THIS TO BM AND SHE SAID IF I GOT LOCKED UP FOR IT SHE WOULD WRITE ME A LETTER EVERY WEEK THAT SAID "YOU'RE A FUCKING FOOL"... I NEED A GET RICH QUICK SCHEME THAT DOESNT INVOLVE COCAINE OR GUNS. PERSONALLY I THINK THE ARMED FORCES IS FOR DICKHEADS B, NO OFFENSE BUT I DONT LOVE AMERICA THAT MUCH HOMIE. IF A-RABS ATTACK THE BRONX THOUGH, PLEASE BELIEVE ITS ON AND POPPIN, IM SLAPPIN KUFIS AND POPPIN TURBANS.

YO SO MY MAN JOINED THE ARMY OR WHATEVER LIKE THAT, AND THEY GIVE YOU SOME MONEY WHEN YOU SIGN UP I FORGOT EXACTLY HOW MUCH HE SAID IT WAS BUT NIGGAS HIT HIM OFF...HERE'S THE QUESTION, WHAT WOULD THE LEGAL REPERCUSSIONS BE IF I SIGNED UP, GOT THE MONEY AND THEN WAS LIKE "HA! YOU NIGGAS ARE BEAT! IM REIN UP!"...IM SO MUCH BROKE, IM CONSIDERING DOING SOME WILD ANIMAL FRAUDULENT SHIT LIKE THIS FOR RENT MONEY. HOLLA FRONT MAKE IT HAPPEN AND IF ANY OF YALL ARE IN THE ARMED FORCES AND TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS, RELAX B. AT LEAST YOU AINT DEAD AND YOUR CORPSE AINT HUNG UP SOMEWHERE IN IRAQ LIKE A SCARECROW FOR WHITE PEOPLE (BUT YOUR MANS IS! HAHA!).

PLUS, WHEN I HEAR MONEYS NAME TWO THINGS POP UP IN MY BRAIN IM GOOD ON BOTH B. THANKS.

WITH ALL THE FUCKIN REDNECKS IN THIS COUNTRY B, I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW A NIGGA NAMED "BARAK OBAMA" IS IN THE RUNNING TO BE NEXT PRESIDENT. OBAMA SOUNDS A LIL BIT TOO MUCH LIKE OSAMA TO ME ANYWAY, I'LL VOTE FOR THE WHITE BITCH CUZ THATS CLINTONS WIFEY, BESIDES, I HAD THIS CRAZY DREAM WHERE THAT OBAMA DUDE TOOK OVER AND TURNED EVERYBODY INTO CRAZY MUSLIM EXTREMISTS AND THE WHOLE U.S. TURNED INTO A WACK ASS STEVEN SEAGAL MOVIE.

I THINK THIS WHOLE COUNTRY IS JUST LIKE A SCIENCE FAIR FOR NERDY ARCHITECHTS WHO HAVE NO OTHER PLACE TO BUILD THEIR "AMAZING 700 FLOOR ROTATING" PIZZA PLACE.

DOG. IM NOT STAYING NOOOOOOWHERE FOR 40 GS A NIGHT. I DONT CARE IF AS SOON AS I GET OFF THE PLANE MY DICK GETS INSERTED INTO ANGELINA JOLIES MOUTH AND I GET TO KEEP IT THERE UNTIL IT GETS PRUNEY. I DONT EVEN THINK IVE SEEN 40G'S AT ONCE (EXCEPT THAT ONE TIME AND I DONT WANNA GET INDICTED SO WE'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT) FUCK HOTELS B. FOR THAT MUCH BREAD YOU COULD BUILD A CRIB WHEREVER IT IS YOU'RE STAYING.

Re: one can of tune = one sammich! THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES IN MY LIFE WHEN I BEEN SO BROKE I COULDNT EVEN BUY A BAG OF CHIPS B. LIKE NIGGAS ALWAYS GOT CHANGE LYIN AROUND THE HOUSE, I AINT EVEN HAVE THAT. BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS ONE THING IN MY CRIB NO MATTER WHAT. I WOULD OPEN THE CUPBOARD AND THERES THAT BUMBLEBEE TUNA JUST CHILLIN LIKE "YO MY NIGGA, YOU BETTER HOLLA AT ME, YOU BEEN EATING SPAGHETTI FOR LIKE 4 WEEKS STRAIGHT DOGGIE YOU NEED SOME PROTEIN" AND GODDAMN THAT SHIT HOLDS YOU DOWN LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. TUNA ON ONE SLICE OF BREAD AND THE LITTLE BUTT SLICE AT THE END OF THE LOAF, WITH SOME TAP WATER ICED TEA. GOURMET JUMPOFF. THEN YOU TAKE THE OTHER BUTT SLICE OF THE BREAD AND MAKE ONE LIL PIECE OF FRENCH TOAST AND RUN TO MCDONALDS AND GET THE SYRUP FOR THE HOTCAKES HOLLA POWWWWW!!!!!!

DOG THERE IS ONLY ONE LT. REFFERING TO THIS CLOWN AS LT IS LIKE REFERING TO MIKE JONES AS MJ. YOU DIG? ALSO, THIS NIGGA IS MAD SOUR CUZ THEY GOT SLAYED BY THE PATS NOT CUZ THEY WERE DANCING. WHAT A HYPOCRITE THIS NIGGA IS B WHEN SHAWN MERRIMAN IS THE EXAMPLE OF WHAT A DICKHEAD ATHLETE IS, TAUNTING AND DOING ALL KINDS OF DUMB SHIT. FUCK THE CHARGERS THEY AINT SHIT PHILLIP RIVERS IS SO TRASH I COULD SUIT UP MY AUTISTIC NEIGHBOR AND SUB HIM IN, NIGGAS WOULDNT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. ACTUALLY, EVERYONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO TAUNT, THAT SHIT IS FUNNY B. I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT "SPORTSMANSHIP" WHO THE FUCK MADE THAT SHIT UP B? ITS A FUCKING GAME DOG, I DONT GET FINED WHEN I BEAT MY COUSIN IN MADDEN AND TELL HIM HE'S A PIECE OF SHIT AND THROW BEER IN HIS FACE TO CELEBRATE AN EXTREMELY FAKE 90 YARD PASS FOR A TOUCHDOWN (AND MAKE THE 2 POINT CONVERSION WHEN IM ALREADY UP BY 6 TOUCHDOWNS, THEN DO THE ONSIDE KICK)...SO THESE NIGGAS SHOULD HAVE NO REPERCUSSIONS FOR DOING THE ELECTRIC SLIDE TO CELEBRATE A SAFETY OR WHATEVER B. LET NIGGAS HAVE FUN AND BE NIGGERISH B, WHAT THE FUCK.

HAHAHA DIMELO LOCO QUE LO WAAAAA

WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND MY EX WIFES WEDDING FLICKS?

AND COME ON SEEKS. IM NOT IN THE LEAST BIT CAUCASIAN AND I KNOW WHITE PEOPLE RUN THIS SHIT, (THIS SHIT MEANING THE PLANET) THE LEAST YOU NIGGAS COULD DO IS GIVE THE REST OF US A COUPLE OF WHITE DUDES TO LAUGH AT WHILE THE REST OF THE WHITE DUDES FIRE US FROM JOBS AND SHOOT US WHEN WE TRY TO SHOW THEM ID.

YEAH DOG, IF EVER THERE WAS A SAMBO FOR THE 2G, ITS FLAVOR FLAV B. THAT WHITE RAPPER SHOW IS PRETTY FUCKIN FUNNY B. I SAW THAT SHIT LAST NIGHT AND ALMOST SHIT ON MYSELF "ITS A GHETTO REVIVO BABY" "HALLELUJAH HOLLABACK LIL HOMIE" NIGGAS ARE ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. AND THAT ONE NIGGA THAT GOT SLAYED THE FIRST DAY SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE EMINEM

SHORTY: YO CAN I GET A DIME FOR 8? ME: *SLAP*

MATTERFACT, WHEN THESE SHITS DROP IM GOING TO CROBAR THAT WEEKEND AND STEALING 1 OF THESE SHITS OFF EVERY WHITE BITCH IN THE PLACE, IM ALSO STEALING YALL BITCHES DIGITAL CAMERAS, AND DONT LEAVE YOUR DRINK ON THE BAR CUZ I'LL DRINK THAT SHIT AND STEAL YOUR CIGGARETTES AND YOUR CAR KEYS RIGHT OFF THE BAR, STUPID. I DONT CARE B. I'ONT EVEN CARE IF YOU TOOK A SIP OF YOUR DRINK ALREADY B, UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PUSSY SMELLS LIKE ABU GHARIB, IM DRINKIN YOUR SHIT. EXCEPT IF ITS SOME GAY FRUIT SHIT. IF ITS SOME GAY FRUIT SHIT IMA THROW IT AT YOUR BOYFRIENDS FACE AND THROW THE NIGGA OVER THE BAR JUST FOR ASSOCIATING WITH YOU.

SO BASICALLY THIS SHIT DOES EVERYTHING BUT MAKE YOU DINNER AND SUCK YOUR DICK? THE KILLER IS THAT NIGGAS ARE GONNA DROP THIS SHIT FOR LIKE A GOOD GNOTE, THEN DROP ANOTHER ONE IN AN "EXCLUSIVE COLOR" AND NIGGAS ON THE 6TRAIN GONNA GET RAPED FOR THESE SHITS COMING UPTOWN. IM GOOD. I DONT EVEN GOT AN IPOD I JUST RAP TO MYSELF ALL DAY.

IF YOU LIVE IN SF AND HAVE NEVER BEEN PENETRATED BY A MAN IN LEATHER, YOU ARE IN THE MINORITY. I NEVER EVEN BEEN OUT THERE B, AND IM UP. NIGGAS IS MAD GAY B YO WHY IM IN THE CRIB WITH MY COUSIN AND THIS NIGGA BRING THROUGH HIS SHORTY AND SHE COMES THROUGH AND ITS 3 OF US SO IM LIKE YO DAMN CALL UP ONE OF YOUR HOMEGIRLS OR SOMETHING B IM NOT TRYNA WATCH YOU AND THIS NIGGA CUDDLE ON THE COUCH, SO SHE CALLS UP HER HOMEGIRL WHO COMES THROUGH WITH SOME CRAZY MAKEUP ON BUT THE BITCH WAS CUTE. BEFORE I COULD SAY "YO WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE SOME CRAZY HIDEF JAY Z BLUE EYESHADOW ON" TWO SUPER DUPER TROOPER GAY NIGGAS WALK IN LOOKING THE OPPOSITE OF HETERO B. LIKE ON SOME "WE'RE A PARODY OF GAY DUDES" TYPE SHIT. THATS HOW GAY THE NIGGAS WERE B, ASK ME AGAIN. THE CRAZIEST PART IS THAT NIGGAS DID NOT STAY, THEY CAME THRU, SAID BYE TO SHORTY AND WAS LIKE "HEYYYYYY!" TO EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CRIB. MAD STRANGE B.

YEZZIR!! 3DBEE SMOKIN AND DRINKIN

YO MY NIGGA YOU SUPPLY THE WATER I'LL SUPPLY THE FIRE. NIGGAS DEADED MY MANS SPOT REAL QUICK I HAVENT PUT NO FLAKES IN THE AIR FOR A MINUTE I NEED TO STEP INTO THE MATRIX YOU DIG??

SINCE SCOFIELD? THAT NIGGA IS LIKE THE FROMMERS OF NY CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES.

YOU AINT HEARD, GOT THE WORD? THAT IM, THAT IM SO SINCURRRRRR!

MY NIGGA LAST TIME I WAS IN DR SOME FRENCH TOPLESS BITCH ALMOST CONVINCED ME TO GET ON A BANANA BOAT TILL I LEARNED HOW TO SAY "BITCH ARE YOU STUPID? THERES A OPEN BAR." IN FRENCH, THEN I LEARNED HOW TO SAY "I DIDNT MEAN TO COME IN YOUR MOUTH MA, BUT YOU GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY ROOM BEFORE MY SHORTY FUCKS YOU UP" IN FRENCH. GOOD VACAY. GLIK MY NIGGA I NEVER WANNA SEE THE BOAT AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE. JUST TO GIVE NY NIGGAS A HEADS UP, IF YOU EVER PLAN ON GETTING POPPED DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL, LEARN SPANISH. THAT SHIT HOLDS YOU DOWN.

BAGS FULLA CASH! CARS FULLA ASS!

MY NIGGA, SHIT WAS SO WACK I DONT EVEN BREAK WEED UP ON IT. THE NIGGA DID A BUDWEISER COMMERCIAL WITH HIS FIRST SINGLE. THE SINGLE WAS KINDA HOT BUT ITS LIKE THOSE PORNO DVD'S WHERE IT HAS THE BADDEST BITCH ON THE COVER AND THE REST OF THE BITCHES IN THE SHIT LOOK LIKE COURTNEY LOVE IF SHE WAS A P.O.W AND WAS FORCED TO SHOOT HERRON EVERYDAY AND SLAP HERSELF IN THE FACE WITH BARBED WIRE FOR 5 YEARS STRAIGHT. MAD SOFT MAD GAY. GET THAT NEW UNCLE MURDA INSTEAD.

YO B I REALLY WANTED THIS SHIT TO BE SOME HARDBODY KARATE SHIT THAT I COULD KNOCK AND JUST MAKE THE ILL SPAZ FACE AND BE LIKE "AHHHHH!" EVERY LINE...BUT I CANT, THIS SHIT IS TRASH B, REAL TRASH. NIGGA DID A SONG WITH THE NIGGA FROM COLDPLAY...(IM SERIOUS B, THE NIGGA FROM COLDPLAY)...HAD I KNOWN THAT I WOULD STRAPPED DYNAMITE TO MY WIFEY AND SENT HER INTO THE STUDIO WHEN THOSE NIGGAS WERE MEETING TO LAY THE TRACK DOWN. THAT NEW CLIPSE ON THE OTHER HAND IS FUCKING FIREEEEEEEE NIGGAAAA. "SINCERE" "KEYS OPEN DOORS" AND "WE GOT IT FOR CHEAP" PLEASE DOWNLOAD THOSE JOINTS AND IF YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT KILL YOURSELF. I SAY DOWNLOAD CUZ THESE NIGGAS APPARENTLY GOT ENOUGH YAY MONEY TO NOT CARE ABOUT ALBUM SALES. IT CAN ALSO BE SAID THAT IT DONT MATTER WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAY IF YOU GOT PHA-REAL ON THE BOARDS. EITHERWAY SHIT IS CRACK. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD, FUCK POLICE, IM GOING PLATINUM, I NEED A JOB, AND NO MATTER WHAT THAT BITCH TELLS YOU, SHE AINT MY BABY MOM. HOLLA POW!!!

YO I ACTUALLY TAKE THAT BACK CUZ THERES LIKE 7 SHORTIES ON THIS WHOLE SHIT THAT ARENT BEASTS AND I THINK LIKE 4 OF THEM HAVE KIDS AND ALL KINDS OF OTHER "NO!" FACTORS. THE REST ARE DYKES. TAKE YOUR PICK DOG, YOU'RE BETTER OFF HOLLERIN AT BITCHES AT THE LAUNDROMAT OR SOME SHIT.