xen

I forgot how much I hate court ordered groups.I can't raid Home Depot with bolt cutters and a duffel bag any more so today's haul should keep me distracted until tomorrow.

False. nh, never tried TPBM has shoplifted this year

It's weird saying congratulations Shittles...Taste The Asshole :) I've climbed out out of the depression quite a bit and cut a couple of people out of my life that should have gone a long time ago. Started going to see the shrink again and hitting a meeting when the work schedule allows it. I have a lot of fuck off time at work and almost unlimited access to Painters Touch so I've started painting the cardboard inserts we put on the pallets. Talk about use it or lose it. I haven't put spray paint to any surface since before I joined this board. Paper and paint are 2 entirely different things but I am getting a bit better every week. A bit of the confidence back and I'll spend lunch painting the grainers that come through. Getting my handstyle/moniker back in line thanks to a lifetime supply of white Markals and china markers Keeps my mind off of wanting vodka for lunch and they don't give a fuck about the paint or markers.

Now let's take the bass line for a walk. To score some meth

Thanks Symbols. Not gonna lie, I went and got me a pint of vodka and am drunk right now. I hate it but damn the relief of not fighting it for a minute. I called my best friend and we laughed about the old times and my wife called. She'll be home in a few hours, mad at me for getting drunk but she'll be here. I'll be passed out but when I wake up, I'll talk to her and get back on track. The thing that keeps fucking me up is the thought that people are mean and I can't get past that. I guess I'll call my shrink tomorrow.

Well, I fucked up again, par for the course I guess. Dealing with some "Dude, call someone. Seriously"; type depression. It's just culmination of years of trying to do the right thing and what seems like constantly having the rug pulled out. I am in the best place I been in my life. Everything good that I thought wasn't for me, a homeless, alcoholic, dope fiend that had every plan on being dead at 37 and lived life accordingly. Had fun doing it. Met my wife and, jesus fuck the trials and tribulations. My hobo knowledge got us through, adapt and overcome became our mantra, figure it out, stupid was painted on the wall of the house we were buying. It wasn't fit for human habitation but we made a promise to our dogs that we were their forever home come hell or high water. We got both but kept those assholes. We lived 2 years in this squat. I shouldn't call it that, every squat I had had indoor plumbing, but I digress. We bathed out of water jugs, hated Sunday because the gas station didn't open til 10 but I had to shit at 7. We made this place habitable. Every bit ourselves, me and her. we figured it out. We had to use propane heat and almost died of carbon monoxide, you shit just goes on and on but we rarely fought. It was me and her against the world but you can only bright side it so long. I couldn't find a job for the felonies and I got fucked up and went for a drive, got a DUI Fast forward 19 months. The crooked preacher we were buying it from had the house condemned for no water, still don't know why, I have a job making not folding money but breathing room, almost got the probation done and I get the phone call that 2 more friends were killed in a car crash. Their 16 year old daughter that I remember when she was born was pulled out but there was't enough time save them and she watched her parents burn. I kept it together for 2 days and got off work, drank a beer to their memory and my wife reminded me I have court. Went, paid them $500 upped my monthly amount by 5. Judge is happy and I leave. DA heads me off at the door and has me go take a piss test. Failed for alcohol and he files a PTR. Shit's gonna crash for a beer. Overly pessimistc, worried for nothing? It'll be OK? This is the motherfucker that sentenced me to prison for 3 years (served 1) for 3 cans of paint and a pack of blank CDs. Been mad the whole time i didn't sit in prison this time like he wanted. I haven't talked to my wife about how down I am. Trying the play it off, no big deal facade because she's going to see our son this weekend. I am probably going to get really fucked up and sleep until she comes back. tl:dr fuck you i need to stay occupied and wall of text did it. you can only put so much weight on my spirit and miles on my soul.

Weed was one of those things that I guess I just outgrew. When me and my wife first started dating, she made it known that running me around to get weed pissed her off. She didn't smoke so it was just wasting her life. I love her more than weed and didn't want to be a time murderer so I didn't ask and it just faded away. I not only don't miss it, i don't even like it. I just get anxious and can't see paying for that, I can get it for free. Then one by one the rest of the dope fell out of fashion until there was just alcohol and I consumed enough of that to more than replace the rest until it became an issue. Hope everyone is doing well and staying strong. Keep on keeping on.

This fucking group I go to is pissing me off. I have to go per court order but there are a few cats with solid advice and a few I know I could help but the way it is ran is just jacked. Every meeting is what struggles have you had, what triggers did you over come, what made you want to use? this fucking group made me want to use. focusing on the misery,? write down what made you miserable? bitch, i had a good week and am generally happy. where is the room for that? I am going to speak up next week. thanks for reading my inner voice.

I haven't put paint on a wall since before i joined this group of fuck ups but now have access to all the painters touch i can fit in a back pack. god sucks. nonsense

I hang around for the nostalgia mostly and the same hope that the oontz will return to its former glory. I know it won't but I have a hard time giving up the ghost. I won't check in for 2 weeks and there are 2 alerts. Raven dropped the ball and I don't think there is any going back. As stated, people found other outlets to serve the purpose 12 oz used to. Fixing the clock was too little too late.

Speaking of sore backs... Headed to Nevada for some store bought satisfaction? Know before you go. http://www.yelp.com/list/nevada-brothels-pahrump

made my back hurt just watching it

POZ and anybody want a peanut are gone? That is harsh. Get that rest man. I lost 2 solid homies to heroin last year. 1 had 3 years sober and 1 had just over a year. Neither one gave me any indication that the old demons had returned. i Don't know what, if anything, I could have done. Ya, the struggle is real. I've been doing good for the last 16 months. Slipped a few times and got drunk but haven't spiraled back to a fifth of vodka a day. I hit a meeting here and there and it helps. My regular group counsilor left to greener pastures last week and one guy showed up drunk. I think he should have got the bum's rush and taken out back but what the hell. If you can't hold it together for 1 day (he can't) stay the fuck home and get drunk. Again, the struggle is real and some people are truly fighting this shit. Enough of my ramblings. Stay strong and use your support network, whatever it is. I am genuinely bummed.

This ship has sunk.

Not rolling in the funds but I'll help out any way I can. Dude's living the life we all should and if a few bucks is all he needs, damn right i'll kick in. If he doesn't deserve to profit, who the fuck does? Wish I had more to throw in on this adventure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHdcSM38jVU

I've been on a throwback punk kick lately and it doesn't seem to be going away soon.

Sometimes I forget that this album isn't over hyped, it's a great album. Never_Mind_the_Bollocks,_Here's_the_Sex_Pistols.pn

Relevant to thread https://www.facebook.com/Abandoned-1513149249010673/

Broken shoulder and collarbone? Pain for sure

https://www.facebook.com/roy.damm?fref=ts&ref=br_tf&hc_location=ufi These people still exist. Nonsense and how the hell did you get my name with 0 friends in common. Not really, just wanted to post the pic.

http://bugasalt.com/ There stands a man, in front of a grill. He's got two hands, a cut o' meat and a bare chest. He slathers Mr. Pinch Cotton Candy BBQ sauce on the meat to create an elbow lickin’ treat! Wiping the perspiration off of his forehead with his BBQ bib, the grillmaster picks up his trusty Bug-A-Salt. One shot at a time he methodically picks off every fly in sight. Now time to celebrate with an ice cold beer! His wife left the cap on, but not to fear; he has on his hip Mr.Pinch bottle opener...always near. Includes: Single Yellow Bug-A-Salt 2.0 Mr. Pinch Cotton Candy BBQ Sauce BBQ Mr. Pinch Bib Mr.Pinch Key Chain Bottle Opener

Mac Miller - GO OD AM